More Campus Jokes

JOKES

AMA Computer College

Deodorant:
Ateneo- Secret
DLSU- Sure
UST- Rexona
UP- Babes
NU- Splash deowhitener
PUP- Tawas
AMA- Dinikdik na Stork, sing lamig pero di sing mahal.

Multivitamins:
UA&P- Pharmaton
Ateneo- Rogin-E
DLSU- Centrum
UST- Clusivol
AMA- Star Rice

Favorite Month:
DLSU- February (Hearts' day)
UA&P- December (Holidays)
Ateneo- March (Graduation)
AMA- April (Boys) IDOL!!!

Gimik:
DLSU- Mondo
Ateneo- Fat Willys
Beda- Mars
CEU- Padis
UST- Chatterbox
AMA- Di nyo kami maaapi dahil sa Hard Rock kami! May concert doon si Jolina! Behhhh!

Pag may kaaway:
UA&P- Aikido
ADMU- Judo
DLSU- Taekwondo
UST- Boxing
AMA- Sayunachi...Sayonachi...Sayonachinelas ko...TAKBO!

Cellphone orders in Greenhills
DLSU- 8810 please.
UP- Car charger nga.
UST- Extra battery.
UE- Two pieces of P1,000 GLOBE cards.
AMA- (pabulong) May brochure kayo?

Expressions pag nakakuha ng funny txt:
Ateneo - Hahaha, funny!
DLSU - Yeah right.
UP - 'Tangna. OK to ah.
AMA - Tayo na naman ang pinagtatawanan, ah!

Reaction ng marinig ang new txt scheme:
Ateneo - Bad trip!
DLSU - Shit!
UST- Bwisit!
CKSC- Piaw si eh.
FEU- Diyahe naman.
AMA- Yes! Wala nang mang-aasar sa atin!

Reactions of students to a BMW car:
Ateneo - My dad has one like it
DLSU - Dad! Buy me naman that!
UP - Dad, that is not worth buying
UST - Wow Dad! Cool!
AMA - Itay! Pakodak tayo sa tabi!

Iniinom ng mga students sa bar:
LaSalle - mule
AdMU - subzero
CRC - heineken
UP - super dry
UST - pale pilsen
FEU - blue ice
MAPUA - miller
CEU - tanduay
AMA - zesto

After class:
DLSU/CSB - tambay, punta sa kotse
CRC - punta mall, coffee break
ATENEO - tambay, review notes
ASSUMPTION - punta quad, pa cute cute
AMA - uwi agad, abang Esperanza

Reaction ng mga students pag nawalan ng wallet:
AdMU - f*ck, my credit cards are there
DLSU - sh*t! there goes 5000 bucks
UST - pre, yung driver license ko
AMA - punyemas yung picture ni Jolina!

Reaction of students after looking at a Sauna Showroom:
DLSU - ganda ng #69
UP - ok si 74
UST - yun magaling sa kama
AdMU - #8 nag-blo-blowjob
AMA - shit alis na tayo, si #1 ate ko

Tawagan ng mga magsyota sa school:
AdMU - hey, girl!
DLSU - hi, honey!
CRC - zup, baby?
UST - labs
UP - hi, mahal!
AMA - hello, chuba chu-chu!

Parlor ng mga schools:
AdMU - Frank Provost
DLSU - Roger Craig
CSB - Paradigm
CRC - bcbg
UST - Davids
FEU - Ricky Reyes
AMA - Rejoice portable sink with Paolo Bediones

Saints of schools:
AdMU - St. Ignatius
DLSU - St. LaSalle
UST - St. Tomas
CRC - St. Peter
AMA - St. Agustine... as in Marvin Agustin!

Different expressions of students:
DLSU - Oh my gush.
ATENEO - What the hell.
UST - Yucky.
AMA - Chuvachuchu.

Reasons why students study hard:
AdMU - to become good lawyers
DLSU - to become good businessmen
P - to become good politicians
UST - to become good doctors
AMA - para manalo sa Pera O Bayong. Esep-esep!

Undies for girls:
POVEDA: Calvin Klein
MIRIAM: Anne Klein
HOLY SPIRIT: St. Michael's
ASSUMPTION: Victoria's Secret
ST. PAUL: hindi na uso yon!

Famous signature pants of the sosy:
DLSU: Polo
CSB: Chevignon
CRC: Iceberg
SSC: Girbaud
UST: Double R (as in Rough Ryder)

Problematic kids:
DLSU: "Shit! Walang parking!"
ADMU: "Shit! Traffic sa Katips!"
CRC: "Shit! Walang signal!"
UP: "Shit! Walang jeep!"
CSB: "Shit! Walang pinasa!"
ASSUMPTION: "Shit! Walang boys!"

Campus condoms:
CSB - Mucks
DLSU - Durex
Ateneo - Long Silver
CRC - Zoom
UP - Trust
UST - Ice candy bag

Atenean & La Sallian in the bathroom after peeing:
LA SALLIAN: In our school we were taught to wash our hands after peeing.
ATENEAN: Really? In our school we were taught not to pee in our hands!

Lunch ng mga sosy:
DLSU - Manila Hotel
ATENEO - Katips
ASSUMPTION - Friday's Makati
CRC - California Pizza Kitchen
UP - Foodcourt
UST - may sosy ba dun?

Campus chicken:
ATENEO: KFC
DLSU: Max's
UA&P: Kenny Roger's
UST: Chicken Joy
UP: Mc Chicken (singles)
SAN BEDA: Andok's (Good for 10 ppl)
ASSUMPTION: Tusok-tusok the isaw!

Mura ng mga school:
ADMU: "Tangina pare, gago!"
DLSU: "Fuck pare!"
ASSUMPTION: "How puta naman your mom!"
CRC: "Fuck man!"
UP: "you pakeeng sheet!"
UST: "Pak you ka! Pak you!"

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