"Yeah."

He threw it to me. I then tied her feet and hands together.

A few seconds later I picked up Carolyn and carried her out as Doctor Diesel started coming to. We hurried out the back door and laid her in the Porsche.

As I started the engine Cody shouted, "Dad, here she comes."

There was a look to kill in her eyes as Doctor Diesel stormed out the door yelling something and chasing after us. As we pulled away she jumped into her red '72 Vette and was right behind us.

I had been admiring her car earlier. It was equipped with a 454 and I knew it was alot faster than my 911. I was bummin' as she power slid onto the street and started to close in on us. Her Vette may of been faster, but our Porsche handled alot better. A couple hundred yards ahead the light was red and several cars were backed up at it. I whipped it to the left, zipped around the waiting cars and made a right at the light, nearly causing an accident as I forced my way into traffic.

"Here she comes," Cody yelled, as I looked in the mirror and saw the Vette crossing up into the flow of traffic. I was jealous and missed my Vette. I loved my 911 alot, but seeing that Vette whip a fish tail brought back some good memories of a big block Chevy.

I probably knew her car better than she knew it. If she was gonna try keeping up with me I was gonna blow her mind. All my life I had had fast cars and nobody had ever been able to out drive me. Traffic was slow. I was ready to go. My 911 was purring in third gear as I pulled into the suicide lane and wound her out. I was doing eighty as shifted into fourth gear and a hundred and ten as I went into fifth. The Vette was right on my tail as I accelerated to 120, still holding my own in the suicide lane. The moment the on coming traffic slowed I jerked up the emergency break, spun a 180 in the middle of the street, down shifted to first and zoomed away in the opposite direction. By the time she turned around we were a quarter mile ahead of her and made a right into a residential neighborhood. I made an immediate right and then another, coming out on the same street. I looked to the right and saw her making a right as I made a left and slowly pulled away. She was easy, but still gave me a rush. It wasn't over yet, but I was already celebrating.

"Yeah, we ditched her," I shouted holding my right hand high.

Cody gave me five big ones and pulled away with a snap saying, "Woh, Dad, that was gnarly."

About that time Carolyn started to awaken. "What's going on?" Where are we?" she drowsily asked.

"It's all over sweetheart. Go back to sleep."

"Okay, I love you," she said, as she cuddled up to me and went back to sleep. A few minutes later we pulled up to the dock. I left the keys in the car and walked around to lift her out. Before lifting her I thought, What the hell! I knew I wouldn't be coming back. I laughed to myself as I pulled my wad of cash from my pocket and threw a twenty dollar bill on the driver's seat.

"Why are you doing that?" Cody asked.

"I don't know. Just to be cool," I answered, lifting Carolyn out of the car.

Luckily there was nobody on the dock as I carried her to the boat and laid her in my bed.

Hearing my detroit diesel start had never sounded so good. Cody untied the lines as the engine warmed up and we pushed her out of the slip. I was nervous and afraid as we pulled away from the dock, but I was proud of myself and looked forward to getting out to sea.

Shortly after the sun came up, Carolyn brought me a cup of coffee. She sat next to me and said, "The baby's been moving around

a lot."

"Has he?"

"She took my hand with a smile on her face and said, "Here feel."

I could barely feel the baby move. I was more excited about her looking happy and allowing me to touch her. I said, "I hope the baby will make you happy."

She leaned her head on my shoulder and said, "I'm already happy."

I wrapped my arm around her and replied, "You being happy makes me happy."

She held me tight and said, "Thanks for not letting me have the abortion."

"I only did what I did because I love you and the baby and I don't want to lose you."

Her body seemed to melt into mine as she replied, "I love you too."

Throughout the course of that day the swell got real tall and thick. Though the Sea Angel was over forty feet in length, the face of the waves were by far longer. At that point the boat was riding smooth, but Carolyn and I both knew the ocean well enough to be concerned about what was causing the waves to be so large.

Around ten or so at night it started to rain and then pour. By mid-night the wind cranked up to about thirty knots and we had to change course. We were running a storm jib with the mizzen reefed, heading do east. The wind had caused the waves to stand up and I was extremely scared. Cody and Carolyn were inside. I wanted to pull down the mizzen but it was raining so hard I was afraid of falling off the boat. I enjoyed the shelter of the solid dodger I built, but knew I should leave the shelter to pull down the mizzen. The Sea Angel was riding smooth considering the conditions, so I clamped down the steering and stepped out to lower the back sail. The rain felt like bullets against my face as I climbed atop the superstructure. Then the boat got hit in the starboard side by a large wave and I slid off the superstructure onto the port side catwalk. My shoulder lunged into one of the stays and I hung onto it for dear life. I left the sail up and worked my way back into the cockpit where I was still afraid but felt safer. I'm not exactly sure what happened after that. I was steering from the pilot house. The Sea Angel was at the top of some giant wave and I guess it broke. Some how the twenty ton Sea Angel fell from the top of the wave to the bottom and got totally submerged. The pilot house quickly filled with water and the force of the ocean tried to rip my hands off the steering wheel, but I never let go. I was under water long enough to worry about running out of breath. A half a minute or so later I heard wood cracking. Then the mast ripped the pilot house off the boat. It took all my might to hold onto the steering wheel. Luckily the boat was on her way to the surface. A few seconds later I was breathing air, but both the masts were hammering the side of the hull. I wanted to disconect them before they cracked the cement, but Cody and Carolyn were both screaming for me. I looked in the cabin and they were in my bed crunched against the side of the hull. I didn't see any blood and asked, "Are you guys hurt?"

They were both crying to badly to answer. Meanwhile the masts were about to crack the boat in half. I jumped into the cabin and grabbed my tool box. Both of them were looking to me for comfort, but I had to tend to the mast immediately. The mizzen was dragging behind the boat so I went forward and disconnected the main first. My hand got bound in one of the stays as I tried to release the tension to pop out the clevis pin. "Son of a fuckin' bitch I screamed loudly as i could. I hammered the pin through and the mast drifted away from the boat releasing the pressure from my hand. My pinky had a forty-five degree outward bend in it. I pulled back straight and it cracked about five times.

Disconnecting the mizzen was just as tough. I could hear Carolyn screaming something about the water, but I was more concerened about the matter at hand. It took around ten minutes to pop out the pins. I hoped more than anything that the hull wasn't cracked. I thought about knocking what was left of the dodger into the ocean, but it wasn't doing any damage so I went inside.

The boat was being thrown around pretty bad. "Is the boat alright?" Cody asked.

I don't know. Help me open the hatch.

"My water broke," Carolyn cried.

I didn't mean to ignore her, but had no idea what she was talking about. There was around five hundred gallons of water in the bilge. It would take about six hundred gallons to submerge the engine. As it was the starter was partially submerged.

I told Cody to turn on all the bilge pumps. The boat was still getting worked by the force of the ocean and Carolyn was still crying, "My water broke." had I understtod what she was talking about I would have been more sensative, but I didn't understand and I was more concerened about getting the engine going so we could control the boat. Soon as the water dropped below the starter we hit the button and the engine started right up.

It was still pouring down rain and the wind was up to about fifty knots. I put Cody in control of the helm. I couldn't believe how brave he looked. I don't know if it was because he was too young to be afraid, or if he didn't know how dangerous our situation was, but I felt confident with him at the helm.

Carolyn was crying half naked in my bed. There was some sort of plasmattic stuff all over her legs and I finally understood what she was talking about. I pulled her into my arms and she cried on my chest. A few minutes later she started to scream like I never heard before and the baby started to come out. I felt terrible as I helped pull him out. I cleaned him up as though he were alive. His eyes were closed. His mouth and nose, arms, legs, fingers and tows were all perfectly formed. Carolyn wanted to hold him so I wrapped him up in a sweat-shirt before handing him to her. As she lay there crying with the baby I cleaned all the stuff that continued to come out of her.

The Sea Angel was taking a pounding and I was getting knocked all over the place, but it didn't matter to Carolyn nor myself. If we'd of died then neither of would of cared.

Cody must of saw things differently. I don't know how he handled it. The conditions were more extreme than most men could handle. He manned the boat all that night. When Carolyn finally fell asleep I took over the helm.

We rode with the wind for three days and never killed the engine. When it died down Cody and I built a casket out of some teak that we had. We made a soft little bed out of some of our clothes and put some pictures of the three of us together inside, along with some sand dollars and special shells we had found. We screwed the top on and attached a small anchor to it. Before dropping the miniature casket overboard I led a prayer, "Dear God. It wasn't your will for this baby yo be born." About that time Carolyn burst into major tears. I went on, "Please protect his soul, and let it live in another form." I then held the anchor and lowered the casket into the water. The three of us were all crying as I held the anchor and we starred at the little box. Then I dropped the anchor and the casket sunk immediately.

Carolyn never said another word. For the next two days she lay in my bed with a pale, lifeless expression on her face.

Cody and I were so happy to see the desert mountains of the Baja Peninsula, but Carolyn never looked. We anchored the Sea Angel in Scorpion Bay. Carolyn still wasn't talking and stayed on the boat as Cody and I took the skiff ashore.

"Do you think she'll be alright?" Cody asked, driving the dingy.

"I don't know son. She's not looking to good. Are you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just wanna get to shore."

I smiled and replied, "You do, do ya?"

I tried to act as though I was okay, but I was hurting as bad as Carolyn. Cody and I got some fish tacos and walked around for a while.

That night I cooked a real meal, but Carolyn wouldn't eat. Afterwards I managed to get a decent night's sleep. When I woke up Carolyn was gone. I looked outside and saw the dingy tied to the pier. There was a note on the galley table that said, she had gone back to California and for us to stay in Mexico or else she would press charges for kidnapping her.

We paddled our surfboards to shore and asked around for her. She had left on the bus a couple hours earlier. Cody and I spent that winter in the Sea of Cortez and worked on getting our boat back together. He seemed like a normal, healthy child, but my heart was aching. In March we started our journey back to Santa Barbara. We made it back in the first week of May and went by the school to see if Carolyn was working. She never made it back and I still haven't seen or heard from her. My heart still aches. I guess it will never heal. Cody's one of the strongest, healthiest kids in town. He gives me the strength to go on and makes me look like I'm a lot happier than I really am. He and I went surfing together last night and had a real good time, but I couldn't help remembering the first time the three of us surfed the backside of Rincon. All day I've been dreaming about her and wishing to cross paths with her. I'm accepting the fact that she and I weren't meant to be. I truly hope that where ever she is, she's happy and doesn't have a bitter attitude towards me. All I want is to know that she is alright so I can quit worrying about her.