I was the last to leave the car before John was dropped off.
I was now thinking back on this evening, lying in my bed in the
hotel room I shared with Patty, and if I fell asleep some funny
little scene would pop up and I'd dream about it. I
I'd be in some woods again, running away as always. It would
always be quite near a road but this time I stumbled over
something and the whole place seemed to be filled with nettles.
"Ay!...Ouch!!" I called out.
"Who was that? Where are
you?" I heard from the other road. It was just like when it
happened, ten years ago. It was John's voice calling and he'd
run over to me to see what happened.
"All these things
sting my hands." I said.
"Well, that will be alright, if you
just stand up. Or are you hurt?" I was bound to get up but
right at the same time I was lifted from the ground.
"Just
to help you," he said. And funnily enough the figure had
changed. His face loked older. Until now it had looked normal,
like the boy I knew but now it was exactly the same as I'd seen
it today. I set upright to find out it was still five o' clock.
Minutes later I went back to sleep again.
Nightmares, how I hated them. Especially this one. I always hoped I would wake up before the awful end of it. But this time there was no alarmc lock to save me and no movement could get me out of this. I already heard the sound of footsteps in the distance, a car, a shrieking sound and then everything was suddenly so close to me. A man holding my hand trying to pull me away. People forming a mob around me while someone picked me up. Still he couldn't keep me from seeing....
A loud scream woke me up. It was followed by the sound of
something droping on the floor. I found I was screaming myself
awake, quickly turing over and covering my eyes with one hand.
Another scream while I tried to push away the image, even
though it dimmed on me that I was somewhere else now.
"Julia..." I sensed a hand on my hand, an arm around me. I
recognzized the name I heard myself say, I knew the face I
still saw from the back of my mind, it had been there befor,
but not this pale...streaked....
"Alice....Alice, for
Christ's sake, you're having a dream," a girl's voice, again
calling my name though it mingled with someone elses. "Alice,"
she said. "Are you OK?" she added while I heard another voice
saying it at the same time.
"You're looking awful, are you
alright?" two arms around me. Paul...it dimmed on me...the guy
I found in the first porch, only blocks away from that awful
scene.
"It's awful...I'm sorry Paul...I guess we have to
take her home," the other guy.
"John....where's John...he
needs to know this...."
"Don't worry, I'll do that,"
Pete...was this Pete Shotton? John's best friend? Or Nigel
Wally? Good that he was there...only he could tell this to
John, either he or Aunt Mimi..."Never!" I thought...."If she
can comfort someone, then a piece of concrete can do it too." I
did hate her back then, didn't understand her ways with John,
how she always seemed to have a comment ready for him....
Through these thoughts I heard myself crying.
"Oh
please...Julia...." I said.
"Alice, wake up please it's
me, Patty...you're in a simple hotel room, this was a bad
dream OK....please?" I seemed to calm down. She sat down on the
edge of the bed.
"You're just like a mother," I said
softly.
"This is only reasonable," Paty said, giving me a
glass of water.
"How could I just stay in my bed when
you're having such an awful nightmare....what was it? Do you
feel like....can you tell me about it?" I shivered while I felt
a hand on my soulder. John...I thought...he would certainly
understand this...or Paul. Then it donned on me. So that's how
he recognized me, these knowing looks at John, this puzzled
expression on his face...too bad I didn't even recognize him
from that one awful day....Then I decided to try and explain it.
"It's....it's from eight years ago. I've seen a car
accident...my best friend's mother was in it and I saw..."
"I got it," Patty said fast.
We sat there for a few moments until I started to yawn.
"I
got a silly idea," she said stepping over to the edge of her
own bed.
"Here...one of my teddy bears. I don't know why I
took that along but I think it makes perfect sense right now."
I started to laugh, hugging the thing while I went back under
the covers. "Thanks..." I said, closing my eyes again.
Still the rest of the night was covered with a deep sleep until
I suddenly heard Patty's voice again. "You know this hotel room
seems quite luxurious by the way," she said.
"Why didn't
you say that before?" I called out. "Maybe we chose the wrong one!"
"Did you find anyone lying next to you?" she said. I
shrugged. If I'd ever thought I'd noticed something, then it
had been in my weird dreams. And it sounded odd to me. I
shouldn't dream of a person like that. And especially if it had
always been one of my best friends, if not my one best friend.
Still feelings seemed to have changed, at least for me. So why
not dreaming about him then...dreams...oh yes, the nightmare.
"Oh yeah, I got it!" Patty said "This is......er, I
wasn't supposed to say that. But it's at least the district
where these posh hotels are, so maybe we happened to be very
near them."
"They are here and you know that!" I called
out. It made me only more eager to see them, to see John, I had to tell him about this night, about Paul's voice. I got
dressed, while still wondering what the latter was doing in my
dream.
I had to keep myself from running to the door, sure as I was
that they were probably downstairs having breakfast so I might
meet John before the filming started again. I wanted to meet him
so badly, he ought to know about that dream...Then I felt a
hand on my shoulder. "Alice?" I turned around. "John," I said,
trying to stay calm. "You don't know how much I wanted to meet
you."
"Hey, come over with me, didn't know you were...staying here."
he said, waving in the distance at someone walking a few metres
in front of us.
We sat down at a table in the back. I sighed softly, but it was
audible to John.
"What's up?" he said. Paul sat down across
from me.
"I...had a dream...a nightmare." I said. I shivered
lightly when I thought back of it.
"Was it about us?" Paul
asked. For a moment I couldn't find the right words. I tried to
push back the tears.
"Alice," John said, "if you can't....I
mean it seems you need to share it with someone but if it's too
much, just," I shook my head.
"It was about your mother." I
said. "It's something I never actually remembered very well
until...until last night." Then the words seemed to flow out of
my mouth, though not particularly in the right chonological
order. I at least was able to tell them the story.
"I was
there, I was actually there when it just happened. Paul, I've
known John since I was small. I've lived in Strawberry Fields
and....I think his mother actually found me and got me
there..."
"I didn't know that part," John called out, he
was indeed a bit excited.
"I'm not sure of course, it's
just that memories of long ago...they're coming back to me at
once. Since I came here, I actually found parts of my youth
back. I never expected to meet him, even when I knew about the
Beatles, I still thought it could be someone else."
Meanwhile
Paul kept staring at me.
"You mean you've actually...seen
everything?" he said softly. "Is that the nightmare you talked
about?" He looked a bit concerned. I nodded my head, again at a
loss for words while I tried to find John's eyes. They'd surely
help me to get back into my usual speech mode.
"It came
right into my dream, it was all so real...." For some reason
tears welled up in my eyes.
"I never told anyone about it,
it seems I've just tacked it away somewhere until...."
I felt
John's arms around me at once." It felt good to have someone
like him near me, now I felt so small at once. Paul walked over
and sat down on the other side of me. They both stared at me
while I cried my way through a sad ballad.
"Do you know I
still miss her?" I said.
"Me too," John said. "She was so
fond of you....I sometimes took you along to her house,
remember?" I nodded.
"I always found it much better than
Mimi's place," I said. It made John chuckle for a moment. Then
he squeezed me.
"You were really supportive back then," he
said. "You actually wanted to get someone to find out who
was behind that stupid action."
"I should have cared more for
you," I said while tears still ran down my face. "Good this
makes me feel so melancholic, all those old songs on the
radio."
"It's a breakfast program," Paul said. "They have a
wonderful timing with things like this." I sensed the smell of
toast and tried to get away from John's arms while someone came
up with a large plateau of food.
"Never mind, Thanks," John
said, and the man walked away.
"Do you want something to
eat?" John said.
"Aren't we late for the film?" I asked,
while I checked my watch.
"So what, to hell with that."
John said. "It's you we're takin care of right now." I smiled
while I took a sip of orange juice.
"I don't know why I
sudenly heard your voice, in that dream," I said, with the last
words looking at Paul.
"You were actually comforting me
Paul, and here I thought I'd never seen you before."
Paul
seemed in deep thoughts for a moment. "I think I got it," he
said slowly. "Listen, this was something that's been on my mind
since yesterday. John told me how you two knew each other
already, how small the world is at all, and I actually thought
I'd seen you somewhere, I kept thinking it was probably during
the Woolton Fete....in fact it's been something else." I
looked at him for a moment. "I think you're right, Alice, this
acutally refreshed my mind." He took my hand.
"You're still
like that, do you know that?" John said. "You're just a very
sensitive person." I fell silent after this.
"I think it's
because I've never really had someone to lean on." I pondered.
"Except for you of course." I stared at John.
"You've meant
so much to me...."
"Shall I...leave the stage for a while,"
Paul said getting up. I didn't even pay attention and after a
few more seconds he walked away.
"That's Paul," John
grinned. "I'd be such a bastard to just sit there and eat my
piece of toast while everyone around me was going private."
"Really?" I said.
"No....no, of course not, you know me."
"Sure I know you," I thought but I was too shy to say that
out loud. In fact my grin already showed it.
"No you're
wrong with that." John said. "You actually don't know half of me
yet."
"I promise you...I'll search for it." I said. We both
laughed out loud until we found out it was indeed time to go. I
emptied my glass of orange cuide and stuffed the last half of
toast in my mouth while we walked away.
Patty met me in the halwlay and looked a bit strange at me.
"What, is there something I should know?" I said. "Or is it..."
It suddenly dawned on me how this could mean soemthing serious,
she stared at me for a moment, as if she needed to tell me
something, than her eyes changed.
"Acutally it's...it's
George." she said. I could feel it wasn't that but this was at
least something else she wanted me to know.
"HE asked me
for a date." I started to giggle.
"Hey...I thought I was
the one...." I quit half-sentence. I was bound to call out that
I should have researched things first and then go back to him
before he'd actually do something about it.
"What?" Patty
giggled getting it in completely the wrong way.
"You think
George had his eye on you?" At that moment he was walking right
behind her. I tried to get her out of a fit of hysterics but it
wouldn't work.
"This is so funny.." she said. "I only hope
we won't become rivals...oh I actually don't think so. I just
hope he'll notice it from your side cuz...I'm not really in for
it." I pulled her back into the main hall again while the
others were going outside. John waved at me as a gesture to
make me hurry up.
"He was practically within your reach
while you said that," I hissed. "And forget it, I'm not at all
after him."
"Sorry," she said blushing at once.
"Oh, I'll
closely watch this unfold," I said. "I don't believe a word of
what you just said."
"It's serious, I already told him..."
"Poor thing," I said. "It shows how eager you where
to share it with me...you are still impressed by it, right?"
"Yes, truth be told, I am...flattered, honoured in fact."
Believe me, you will fall soon." I said. I indeed sensed
it. Why else was she so insecure about things?
"Any more
news?" I said, suddenly remembering the way she looked at me at
first.
"No...not really." she said. "I'll get back to you
later OK?" I couldn't help the next sentence. "So there is something in store for me?"
"Alice please...I'm not
dropping hints...OK, yes, there's something going on but I'm
still trying to get it out of the way and...you'll hear from me
as soon as we've got more time." Then she suddenly walked away.
She was obviously to afraid to tell me about this. I wondered
what was actually on her mind. If it had to do with me, then
why wouldn't she come out with it at once? I feared for the
worst, for my friendship with John having leaked out into the
open. But then again, who couldn't get acquainted with the
Beatles if they were on one set with you? Then it suddenly
occured to me, never in these two days had anyone said a word
about how long we'd actually stayed here...
Written by Yvonne. May not be reproduced without the
permission of the author. Permission may be obtained by
e-mail.