It was a new song that Paul had been working on that night. She sat up in her bed, realizing she was still in her bath robe. She grabbed a cigarette and lit it up. Taking a drag, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly, she started thinking about the letter; the last thing she wanted to do.
She wondered curiously why Paul would be awake at this hour, as she looked at the clock.....3:57 AM. Wow. Very late hour, or early I suppose.
Drifting off into her own little daydream, she just sat and listened to the beautiful melody and sound of the music. Getting up off the bed she walked over to the window feeling like she was floating.
She opened the curtains to the window that viewed the backyard. She stood absent-mindedly and started thinking of her grandma who had passed away a few years prior. One of the most important people in her life. Gazing at the golden-green lights from the pool, her thoughts were interrupted by the lyrics "And I Love Her."
Her mind started racing wondering what he was doing. Maybe he was awake. She would go over except she didn't want to intrude, so she in turn walked over to the bedside table and clicked on the lamp. Wondering if it would be right to go.
Paul was so enthralled with his music he never even noticed a light come on in the dark house. Sitting at the foot of the bed on the floor guitar in hand with various papers and napkins and such with writing on them.
He was wearing green plaid pajama bottoms with a matching top. Strumming and humming occasionally stopping to write something down, he at the moment was oblivious to the world, except for his thoughts of the girl across the hall.
Jeanna walked over to the door and saw that his light was on. She put out her cigarette, put her robe back on, and then walked in the bathroom.
She looked in the mirror to make sure she looked OK, not the best, but it was 4 in the morning, it'll have to do. She combed her hair out and decided on a ponytail, then brushed her teeth for good measure.
Grabbing her cigarettes and slipping on her houseshoes she was soon out the door and in the hallway. Standing in front of his door she got nervous, what is he gonna think when he sees her? Then she realized she had never been in this room, she had never even been in a room alone with him. Then thoughts of being in a room alone with him at night made her nervous. Trying to put this out of her mind, she finally raised her hand to knock on the door.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.......
She heard grumbles and movement behind the door.
It swung open to reveal a tired and surprised Paul.
"Uhh, what are you doing up at this hour?" he asked her.
"I heard music over here and I thought you might be awake," she told him.
"Come on in," he said trying sound relaxed.
"Did I wake you love?" he asked her.
"Oh, no, I couldn't sleep," she lied.
Paul walked over and sat on the bed while patting the seat next to him for her sit down.
Oh God oh God oh God!!! was running through her mind.
Noticing his appearance his hair was ruffled, surprisingly she thought it looked kinda sexy. During this time Jeanna was looking at his eyes while he was gathering his papers to put them away.
Feeling that he was being watched he looked up at her and they locked eyes for just a second and he put on a little grin. Catching the grin, Jeanna immediately looked away blushing so badly that her face was camouflaged in her bundle of red hair.
Trying to act as if nothing happened, she asks...
"Why are you up so late, Paul?"
"I had to get some things off me mind," he replied.
"Is everything OK?" she asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine, just been thinking." he said.
Not wanting to know what, because she had an idea from the lyrics she had just heard.
Suddenly she drifted off in her own world as she did often she started thinking about her grandma. If she had been here today, she could ask her advice, she always knew what to do. She felt tears start to come up in her eyes, but tried to hide them.
"Oh, luv, what's on yer mind?" he asked in soft tone.
"Oh, nothing, I was just thinking about my grandma. She passed away a few years ago."
"Oh, I'm sorry, I miss me mum too. She died too." he told her, feeling her suffering.
Then it happened, the last thing she wanted, tears started rolling down her cheeks. Unstoppable tears of anger sadness, and loneliness.
"It's just hard not having anyone understand how you feel."
Knowing how she felt he pulled her into a tight embrace.
He whispered lightly to her trying to comfort her.
"It'll be alright," he said.
He too had been very lonely. It's hard when there's no one to talk to, very hard. Then he too felt his own tears sting his eyes, and roll down his cheeks.
She felt so safe in his arms. Like he was the long lost friend she had
been needing. He too felt the same. His arms were so warm and protecting,
she felt as if nothing could do her any harm. She cried more that night than
she had in a long time. He lay back on the bed taking her with him, and just
held her, and she held him. They both fell asleep right there in the comfort
of each others' arms. This is what she had been missing, understanding,
someone just like her, who would never question her tomorrow.
Written by Jeanna. May not be reproduced without permission of the author. Permission may be obtained by e-mail.