110301 well here i am sitting half naked in bed. what joy joy, what is joy. sometimes i am joyful and happy and others i am ... existent. just kind of bleh not that it matters, whatever state i am in i will continue to live unless my current state worsens to the level of death. then i will not continue to live, but exist i will this computer is ghetto, for you who understand some things it only has twenty meg of ram. not a lot by any standards. well.. i suppose by some standards twenty is alot. twenty helicopters in my backyard is alot, but not nearly as bad as twenty aircraft carriers. everything is relative i suppose. relative to you and i

i had a teacher once. his name was schow. christian schow. an odd sort. the sort of odd sort that is apt to give a person two days of in school suspension for making a point, a moot point i might add, about beakman being better than bill nye the science guy. he got very angry with me for that. during one of his many rambling lectures he was on a roll when BEEP! he was interrupted by the pa system doing what it does best. rather than stop his rant for a moments time he just walked over, said a few words his sailor mother taught him and ripped the speaker off of the wall. a fun guy he was. he was/may be a smoke jumper. you know, the type of person that jumps out of airplanes to fight forest fires. as i said, hes an odd sort.

im working two jobs. one at target and one at software etc. mad money. that funky money. i hate it. i wish i had lots so that i could devote my time to making girls and friends happy. i dont think i do that very often. make people happy that is. oh that everyone would be happy without my doing. but it is fun to cause joy, what is joy, in someone.

its only right when its not right

so, how many regular visitors do i have? 1.. 2.... 4.. seriously, i cant see you raising your hands, so you should drop me a line and tell me if your a regular. thats not a request. i know many of you find your way here from angelfires random site and journal page listings. and i also know alot of you just come here to read the forum and see whos bitching at who most recently.

so andrew thinks i hate john and that im trying to pit his family against each other. if he only knew the truth. he said he wants to kick my ass i guess. yet i saw him a few times after he supposedly said that and he dint mention it. it sucks that id have to let him do it because hes a minor and all. it would suck to go to jail. if im in a fight with a minor yet i dont throw a single punch am i still at fault? i do not know for ianal.

yay, i get to get up and go to work in five hours. i really need to get a different life schedule. i also need to meet someones parents. do any of you think that when i do this (this being writing what i think and puttin it here for you to read) is easy? if so tell me why you think its so easy, and if it is so easy why arent you doing it? it sucks when you make this sort of thing as public as i have because not all thoughts i make are easily expressible in words nor are all my thoughts suitable for the general public. names definitely are not mentioned all the time for a few obvious reasons. but i have to be careful in what i say for a name isnt necessarily needed to point someone out.

i have a ninja turtles pillow case and a pokemon pillow case and three pokemon shaped pillows and a snowman pillow and two comforters and a blanket i stole from sarah. im set for life. i got a bloody nose last night. i was sleeping. i vaguely remember it. i know that what i did was wipe my nose with my hand, i think it itched or something and i felt that it was bleeding. so i just layed there with my head up. keep in mind that im still sleeping at this point. i put my hand up behind but not under my head and let the blood that had gotten wiped onto my hand .... shit. i cant think today, ive forgotten the word for when blood clots. i also cant remember natalie portmans name. that last sentence was supposed to read "i cant remember queen amidalas name" but as i was typing it the name came to me. im a nerd.

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