home3:23 AM 11/27/02sam and george, by caleb anderson
sam was a monkey. sam owned a road.
george was a bunny. george owned a hole.
sam was the type of monkey who liked to get things done. a real go-getter monkey. sam dint think his road was long enough. he thought to himself, "whats the point of a road, if it stops somewhere. i should make it so it goes on forever and ever." so he tried. he built his road so it went ever, but as soon as he hit for he tripped. "what the smeg?" sam said. he looked around and saw that he had tripped when he had stuck his foot in a hole.
george liked to sleep. in fact, on this very day george was sleeping. peacefully. dreaming of torturing snowmen to get the carrots from their faces. george liked to sleep and eat carrots. not at the same time of course. all of a sudden, george awoke with a start. he looked up and saw that there was a foot stuck in his hole. he went out the back entrance of his hole and got on the road that wasnt there yesterday and walked towards his entrance. he discovered a monkey, squirming and writhing, at the end of the road and stuck in his hole. "hi monkey man!" george exclaimed. "you look like you may have a problem, do you?"
"yes," sam gruffly replied. "i am building a road, and your hole is in the way."
"oh dear, that is a problem. hmm... well lets see now. what can we do about it? i agree that roads are important, but i cant very well move my hole. nature abhors a moving hole." [ed. nature also abhors a vaccuum, moving or not, but thats a different story.] george thought and thought and thought. his face lit up and he stopped thinking. "i know i know what we can do monkey man. we can move your road over there!"
"no, no that wouldnt work," sam said sourly. "roads go straight, they dont turn. they can go up hills and down the other sides of hills, but they cant turn."
"oh my, this road business is hard work, im getting tired. what else could we possibly do if we cant turn the road?" george wondered.
"we could fill your hole with road foundation and forget that i ever got stuck in it." sam said.
"but that hole is my home! you cant fill my home with a road. ooo ooo oo, we could go over the hole!"
"build a road in the air! thats absurd!" sam goffed.
"no no, see. well put a support here on this side of the hole and a support here on the other side of the hole and a carrot stand in the middle! ooo, this is gonna be fun!" george was excited.
"thats a good idea, a bridge. but no carrot stand and you cant help." sam stated. "its simply not bunny work. thank you."
"oooo today was wonderful. too bad i cant help, but its all for the best, im too tired to build a road." and with that george helped sam free of the hole and went down to dream of more carrots.
sam eventually gave in and turned the road, after building the bridge. he realized that if he built the road in a circle then it would never ever ever ever end. and he was happy with that. after all, thats what roads are for.