7:43 AM 12/01/02idle romantic fantasies are idolized by me all the time

a dumb haiku, but most are. it got the point that i was going to try to make in paragraph form across though. the paragraph is overrated anyway. i ahve trouble making paragraphs most of the time anyhow.

im sitting in bed watching the strangest thing. my teenage mutant ninja turtle curtain is breathing against the window. thats the only way i can describe it. imagine a diaphragm, thats almost what it looks like. this is crazy.

nothing to write about so ill write about nothing. nothing to write about yet i persist. not a thing on my mind. got a letter from liz today. learned some more things about her. im happy for her.

i went to bed at four. i layed there for an hour, to no avail.

a simple and ordinary life. thats what i want. with a wife, a kid. a job. a career. and maybe an airplane.

i ran outside at six this morning with no shirt no shoes and no socks. it was cold. my feet were very cold. but ny nipples didnt get very hard. not really hard at all. are they defective? how hard should they get? whats a normal hardness for ... say 39 degrees fahrenheit? im curious. maybe i should trade them in. yes, and get a variable volume-tuning knob installed for one and the other... well, a caffeine free orange pop dispenser. oh yeah, i think im giving up caffeine. i need to be able to fall asleep and i havent been able to do so for some time now. it is 609 am and im up writing. maybe some remembered and revered for my writings as dostoevsky, orwell, boccaccio, douglas adams, or even the marquis de sade are. that would be quite a wonder. im off to read now... ill return to this later.

not one person besides myself in the house and i still shut the door when i pee.

ive lived for over twenty years now. less than a week ago i found out, for the first time, that cheese is in fact not yellow. before you jump in with the haha what are you colorblind jokes let me say one thing. i am color blind. you may commence.

hung out with alicia the other day. it went very well. unfortunately she let me down later that night. i dont hold it agaisnt her though. im not vindictive. i think thats the word i wanted to use.

i had a dream about a girl wanting to be my girlfriend and people that could brethe underwater so we went to school in the arctic ocean and it was pretty and there was an abominable snow man underwater with us. you know, the christmas kind with lots of fur and a black lips and big mouth. my car was broke and someone thought i blew my engine. but the car worked fine until someone said it was broke, then it dint work and i tried to ride my bike and everything but the front tire kept disappearing until i got up to speed. and i helped this little girl with a bike down some stairs and her mom dint even thank me. the girl that wanted to be my girlfriend used to live just down the street.

my site turned 2 years old the other day.

oh yeah, happy christmas month. i spent thanksgiving completely by myself. i even had a microwave thanksgiving dinner. frozen turkey and stuffing and potatoes. ima go lay down.

american sleep