Authors Note: I wrote Rachel's diary like I write in my own. All rambling and off kelter. Hope you can understand what I'm writing about!

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Jane made it home just time to recieve a frantic call from her mother.

"Hello?" She answered breathlessly, due to running from the door, up a flight of stairs, and into her bedroom. < Gotta get that cordless fixed... >

"Jane?! Are you alright? Where have you been?!" Her mother's voice went from worriedness to anger all in one sentence. " I have been calling you all day! You were supposed to be home six hours ago."

"My car broke down agian. In a little town called Sweetwater. Nice little place. I found a book store that had some great stuff for my thesis."

"That's just wonderful, honey! I knew you were having a hard time with that." Jane's mother had another lightning shift of mood, as only mothers can. "Now, tell me all about your week. You never call anymore." Jane spent the next hour or so relaying to her mom all of the little things she'd done that week. Well, the little things her mom wouldn't worry over.

After telling her mother of her little trip to the Bookstore, and of Bernice, whom Jane was sure her mother would just love, she begged leave of the phone. After all, she did do alot today. Jane went took a shower, then got ready for bed. As she was crawling inside the sheets, Jane remembered the books she had purchased that day from Bernice. Sighing, she got back out of bed, and retrieved the books.

She settled herself down into bed once agian, and opened the first diary. Rachel Dunn.

*****

Dear Diary,

Louise gave this journal to me on her wedding day, though I suppose it should have been the other way around. Though I did get her her first set of linens. You should have seen her face, when I gave them to her after the boys had left. I think it was her first gift for her wedding. When I was going to be married, my mother gave me linens and dishes. About the boys, they will never be the same after Kid and Lou leave. They may only be moving a couple of towns over, but still, they are family to each other.

I guess when your an orphan, and you are thrust upon a bunch of people your own age, you become, hopefully, fast friends and family. Nothing short of war could pull them apart. And I'm afriad that will happen all to soon. Losing first Ike, and then Noah, was a blow to the boys, and Louise.

*****

Jane pulled herself out of the diary, just long enough to flip through the log-book to make sure of her growing suspisions that Lou was Louise and Kid was the same Kid. < There can only be one of those names! > She figured they were the same. It just had to be. Jane wondered who Rachel was...perhaps a good friend Louise?

Jane delved back in to the diary. All these thoughts kept flying through her head. < I don't think I'll be getting much sleep tonight. >

*****

The Kid and Jimmy are the best friends, yet seem so distant. Kid is so calm, and would weather a storm in a barrel. Jimmy is so...you can't place just one word for him. He is all man, yet not grown up. He is so cocky, but he is very unsure of himself. Once Lou came into the picture, things got a little tense. I think Jimmy has feelings for Lou, if he doesn't still. If I didn't know Lou was married to Kid, I'd think that she had feeling for Jimmy also.

But she did marry him, and she is happy. I guess that's what counts. Kid and Louise are made for each other, in a deeper sort of way, I guess. But still, the attraction between them is strong. I wonder if they ever acted on it...Oh my! Look at me! In Louise's own wedding gift! I am wondering about Lou and another man after she married the one I think she should've.

I wish the Express could'be gone on longer. Given the boys time to grow up. Some of them have grown up into men, but aren't yet ready to face the world. Jimmy is to hot-headed, and doesn't know how to handle real-life. He is the one I worry about the most. That boy is full of demons. Internal and external. All my boys are so young. Cody is still like a little boy, trying to get everyone's attention. Buck is so calm and peaceful. I hope his heritage is not going to be a big distraction, or problem in his life. In this world, half-breeds are lower then dirt. But Buck is one of the most couragous men I know. Ever since he lost his best friend, Ike, he has become ever more quiet. He was so quiet before, always comtemplating somthing. Always thinking over, what I assume, his life.

Then there's Kid and Lou. Kid is still so young. He may not be so naive as he was, but in many ways, he hasn't grown up. Lou is so much older in many ways. Having to pretend to be a boy has made her grow older than most of the other boys here. Or who were here. Everything has been blown up. Everything we've made in little over a year is about to end. The war is here and the telegraph follows. The end of the Pony Express is near.

*****

Jane skimmed the middle part of the diary, only stopping to read little tales of everyday life in the early part of the nine-teenth century. Washing clothes, cooking, and going to town in a buck-board, everything done without convinience of electricity. Jane cringed, thinking about a world without her electric blanket.

*****

Dear Diary,

Stewart told me a peice of depressing news today. Stewart took over for Tomkins when he had a heart attack, a year ago. He told me the famous 'Wild Bill Hickok' was killed two days ago in Deadwood, South Dakota. Lou came to me in tears today. Kid told her, after I told him, in shock, when I was in town.

All I can think is how Kid feels. I know Jimmy and Kid parted not on the best of terms, on Kid and Lou's wedding day, so many years ago. But Jimmy and Kid had a bond stronger than war. They were the kind of people, who can meet up after fifty years and seem like nothing ever changed. Now that can never happen. All because some man wanted the reconigition of killing a famous gun fighter.

Jimmy may have been a gun fighter, but he was a sweet man. A gentlemen born without the means. His lot in life, was just like the other boys. Though every story of theirs was different, a single thing was lacking from every one. Parental love. Me and Mrs. Cain tried to fill it, but nothing can take that place in a young childs life.

Here I am, on the day I find out Jimmy's dead, talking about how I figured the other boys lives went. But it's all I can do. When I think of one of the boys, I think of them all. Everyone of them changed each other's, and mine, lives so much. I wish I could see them all together once agian. But I can't ever agian, not in this lifetime. Ike, killed saving the woman he loves, was the first to go. Then Noah, for being black, for being a good man, for helping the wrong woman. Then Jimmy, for being himself, for being someone he never wanted to be.

Since the closing of the station, I have only heard from Cody once or twice, and have toatlly lost all contact from Buck. Naturally, Lou and Kid come over all the time, living so close. But the other boys, I haven't seen or heard from in over twelve years. I don't think Buck made it through the terrible days for the Indians. When the goverment rounded them up. I came always hope.

When Lou came to me today, she told me somthing I had suspected for years. She had wanted Jimmy. In a bad way. She had fallen for him hard, but Kid was the better choice, and she had fallen in love with Kid, eventully. But Jimmy never totally left her, and she never told him. She told me they once kissed. And it was the most passionate kiss she ever recieved. Even from Kid. All I could do was nod and say, 'I'm sorry.' I had wanted to say, ''I thought so.' But I held my tongue. She was in enough pain.

Lou sent out letters, and telegrams to the rest of my living boys. Cody is in the army still, so Louise sent one there. Buck, we still haven't heard from, so she sent out messages with trappers, and to the Kiowa reservation, in hopes someone finds him. But we hope Cody can come. We are going to Deadwood, to go to Jimmy's funeral. I hope we get there in time.