Sorry it looks messy, I will repair it later.

1. Cody: In grade 3 he said to his teacher, "I ain't got no pencil." She said, "No Cody, it's 'I don't have a pencil; We don't have any pencils; There aren't any pencils.', do you understand? Cody said, "No. What happened to all them pencils?"
2. Brody: In grade one he was forgetting to dot his 'i's in all of his work. The teacher asked his where the dot for his 'i's were. He said they were still in the pencil.
3. Nicole: "Mommy the teacher says we are here to help others, is this true?" "Yes it is." "Then what are others here for?"
4. Tanya: Her marks were good for the first month of school but suddenly dropped. The teacher asked her why. She said it was technology's fault. "Why," asked the teacher. We got a new microwave, and now mom has time to do my homework.
5. Nevin: He had to write a letter in art class that proved he knew something about an artist his class had studied. Dear Mom and Dad, Remember how you said you were going to send my earmuffs for the upcoming winter. Well I saved you some money. Love, Vincent Van Gough
6. Darren: Teacher: "Darren, I hope I didn't see you copying from Crystal's test!" Darren: "I hope you didn't see me copying, either."
7. Sara: A magazine salesman comes to the door, and a five year old Sara answers. "Can I please speak to you mother?" "She's not home." "Your dad then" "He's not home either" "Is there someone else I can speak to then," said the salesman who was now getting irritated. "My brother?" "SURE." Ten minutes pass before Sara returns to the door without her brother. "I thought you were getting your brother," asked the salesman now very annoyed. "I tried," said Sara, "but I couldn't get him out of his play pen."
8. Ryan & Jody: In Grade one, Jody is running down the hallway screaming at the top of her lungs(which is really loud) and Ryan is right behind her. The teacher stops them and asks Ryan what is going on. Ryan said, "She hit me and when I catch her I'm going to clobber her!" Teacher asks Jody why she hit Ryan and she said, "So he'd chase me."
9. Jeff, Jamie: They are fighting in the hall, and Jeff is twice as tall as Jamie is, so a teacher breaks up the wrestling. Teacher asks Jamie who started the fight. Jamie said, "Jeff did. It wasn't a fight until he hit me back."

    Three Engineers are discussing what kind of engineer God must be, since he designed humans. One thought he must be a chemical engineer because of the brain and digestive functions. Another thought he would be a mechanical engineer because of the muscles and the bones. The third said, "You're both wrong because he's a civil engineer." The other two asked, "How are you so sure?" "Because," he said, "who else would put waste management through a recreational area?"