John's Jokes
Sorry it looks messy, I will repair it later.
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Cody: In grade 3 he said to his teacher, "I ain't got no pencil." She said,
"No Cody, it's 'I don't have a pencil; We don't have any pencils; There
aren't any pencils.', do you understand? Cody said, "No. What happened
to all them pencils?"
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Brody: In grade one he was forgetting to dot his 'i's in all of his work.
The teacher asked his where the dot for his 'i's were. He said they were
still in the pencil.
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Nicole: "Mommy the teacher says we are here to help others, is this true?"
"Yes it is." "Then what are others here for?"
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Tanya: Her marks were good for the first month of school but suddenly dropped.
The teacher asked her why. She said it was technology's fault. "Why," asked
the teacher. We got a new microwave, and now mom has time to do my homework.
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Nevin: He had to write a letter in art class that proved he knew something
about an artist his class had studied. Dear Mom and Dad, Remember how you
said you were going to send my earmuffs for the upcoming winter. Well I
saved you some money. Love, Vincent Van Gough
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Darren: Teacher: "Darren, I hope I didn't see you copying from Crystal's
test!" Darren: "I hope you didn't see me copying, either."
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Sara: A magazine salesman comes to the door, and a five year old Sara answers.
"Can I please speak to you mother?" "She's not home." "Your dad then" "He's
not home either" "Is there someone else I can speak to then," said the
salesman who was now getting irritated. "My brother?" "SURE." Ten minutes
pass before Sara returns to the door without her brother. "I thought you
were getting your brother," asked the salesman now very annoyed. "I tried,"
said Sara, "but I couldn't get him out of his play pen."
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Ryan & Jody: In Grade one, Jody is running down the hallway screaming
at the top of her lungs(which is really loud) and Ryan is right behind
her. The teacher stops them and asks Ryan what is going on. Ryan said,
"She hit me and when I catch her I'm going to clobber her!" Teacher asks
Jody why she hit Ryan and she said, "So he'd chase me."
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Jeff, Jamie: They are fighting in the hall, and Jeff is twice as tall as
Jamie is, so a teacher breaks up the wrestling. Teacher asks Jamie who
started the fight. Jamie said, "Jeff did. It wasn't a fight until he hit
me back."
How do you make a Blonde mad?
Tell them to go sit in a corner, while you are in a round room.
How does a blonde make you mad?
They find a corner.
Three Engineers are discussing what kind of engineer
God must be, since he designed humans. One thought he must be a chemical
engineer because of the brain and digestive functions. Another thought
he would be a mechanical engineer because of the muscles and the bones.
The third said, "You're both wrong because he's a civil engineer." The
other two asked, "How are you so sure?" "Because," he said, "who else would
put waste management through a recreational area?"
BAD BACKGROUND of the Year
Caution! If you right click the image to the left, and set as your
wallpaper, you could loose your sight from permanent retina damage!
If you have a submission, just email
me the offending pic or the address. Please advise whether or not a welding
lens is necessary for viewing.
I will add even more jokes later. How's that for
a good laugh? (No really, I will try. Not!)
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