April 24th, 1984

"Come on Mrs Carter, push, push, we're almost there! You can do it!"

"I-I-I... caaan't... AAAHHHHHHHHH", Jane yelled.

Soon the room was filled with the most tiny cry of a small child. Jane leaned back in her bed totally exhausted. Her forehead was all sweaty, and she was breathing heavily.

"Mr and Mrs Carter; you've got a beautiful and healthy baby girl". The nurse placed the small infant into Jane's arms. Tears of joy trickled down the proud parents' cheeks as they watched their new child.

"She's wonderful", Bob said to his wife.

"She's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen", Jane said.

"Have you decided on a name yet?" the nurse asked, interrupting the two.

"Anna", Jane said dreamy. "Anna Christina Carter."

November 4th 1998, Stockholm Sweden

I was on my way to school. I had left home about 10 minutes earlier than yesterday. I don't know why though. Maybe I just knew I had to. For this day would change my life forever. I didn't live with my parents. I don't know if I ever have. I lived with this foster-family, who took me in about 4 or 5 years ago. I never liked them. As far back as I can remember I've been staying at this home for children, also called an orphanage. I never knew who my real parents were.

Since I had a few minutes of spare time, I went to the closest newsstand and bought myself a newspaper. I don't know why I did that either. I never read newspapers. I briefly read through all the articles, until one caught my eye;

"Backstreet's Back!
The Backstreet Boys are finally back
in Stockholm, to record for their new album.
Kevin Richardson 27, Howard Dorough 25,
Brian Littrell 23, A.J. McLean 20
and Nick Carter 18 will be spending an other
2 weeks along with their friend and
producer Max Martin at the now famous
"Cheiron Studios". This is the first time
the boys are back in the studio
without the presence of the late Denniz Pop,
who died on August 31st this year."

"Wow", I thought. "The Backstreet Boys are here. I'd better tell Sarah about this".

Sarah was my best friend. She totally loved and adored the Backstreet Boys. I wasn't one of their crazy fans, but I enjoyed listening to their music sometimes. I knew that once Sarah knew about the Backstreet Boys being here, she would drag me all the way to the studio and have me waiting there with her, for hours until she got ALL of their autographs. But I didn't mind at all.

I slowly walked over the playground, to my school. I made my way to my locker, and I saw Sarah already standing at hers, looking for something.

"Hey Sarah, what's up?" I said.

"Hi girl, I can't find my algebra book, do you have any idea where I put it last time?" Sarah asked, knowing the answer already.

"Um... no... I mean, I don't know where you put all your books and stuff, but I do know that you have this ability to put things where you least expect them to be.

"True!", Sarah said and sighed. "That I never learn to put things back where they belong!"

I laughed.

"Oh that's right I forgot", I started. "Do you know who's in town?"

"No. Who?"

"Take a wild guess", I said.

"Oh My God, the Backstreet Boys???"

"Uh huh, and they'll be here for about 2 weeks."

"Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh", Sarah screamed.

"Shhhh!" I said. "Gee, you haven't met them yet!"

"I know, I'm just so happy! Please, pretty please tell me you're going with me?!" Sarah pleaded.

"Yes I am, and besides I want to meet them too, I mean they are really good!"

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, I love you so much!" Sarah said excited.

"Yeah, yeah luv ya too! Do you want to go there after school?"

"Yeah, duh! Of course I do."

"Hehe ok, sorry, stupid question. See ya later then."

"Bye", Sarah said as we went off in different directions. I headed for music class, as she made her way to her Algebra lesson.

~After School~

Sarah and I sat waiting for the bus. We were discussing things, about the Backstreet Boys.

"What if I meet them?" Sarah asked.

"Well... then you'll die a happy girl, right?" I replied.

"Yeah, but I'm so nervous. And I absolutely suck at speaking English."

"No you don't. You're really good", I assured her.

"Not as good as you, I mean you're fluent! How in the hell did you get so good at English? I have to study, and study and I never seam to get it right. I suck at pronounciation, and I suck at grammar. When you speak English, it sounds like you've been doing it all your life! It's not fair." Sarah said pouting.

"Aww. Honestly I have no idea why English always comes so naturally to me. Sometimes it's scary, to the fact that I feel more certain and sure of the English language than the Swedish, and I mean Swedish is my mother tongue!"

"Yeah that is scary", Sarah said.

"But it was so weird, because in 4th grade, you know when we started learning English, I was like 'hey I know this stuff already'."

"Wow, really?" Sarah said a bit stunned.

"Yeah, but maybe I had just heard it on TV or something."

"Yeah probably."

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Um... 3:28. The bus will be here any minute."

"Ok, great. Did you bring your camera?" I asked.

"Yeah, I ran as quickly as I could back home, and got it, plus the "Backstreet's Back" CD-booklet, for them to sign. Did you get any stuff?"

"Nah... it ain't that important to me, with pics of them and to get their autographs. I'm just here to keep you company, and just to see them in real life. Besides I think it should be fun to see all those crazy pathetic fans", I said teasing my friend, knowing that she was as crazy as those girls I was talking about. She shot me an evil look, but I just laughed.

"Sorry", I said afterwards.

"It's ok."

Suddenly the bus came, and we were on our way to meet the Backstreet Boys... and little did I know, that I was on my way, to my new life...

~At Cheiron Studios, later at night~

"Stand back girls", one of the security guards said, pushing us aside. "They're going to sign, if y'all just stay calm, and DO NOT push!"

We tried to stay as calm as we could. There weren't so many girls there, just about 5 or 6, including me and Sarah. The door opened, and we could see a tall dark-haired bodyguard. His name was Eddie, and he was Nick's. Behind him we saw some blonde hair, and we knew it was Nick. I could see Sarah starting to panic, but I told her to stay calm. Nick came out to us, along with his mother; Jane. One girl started to cry when Nick was in front of her, and he tried to comfort her, and dried her tears away, which made her cry even more. Nick had to move on, and told his mother to stay with the girl. Soon he was in front of Sarah, and I took a picture with her and Nick together. Jane came over to her son, right in time when it was my turn to get my autograph. (I had borrowed some paper from a girl).

"I really admire your musical talent Nick", I said.

"Wow, really? Thanks" he said blushing a bit.

Jane had looked up at me, when I was speaking to Nick, and now she was looking at me in the most strangest way. Her mouth was open, and she was just staring at me. Feeling uncomfortable I tried to ignore her.

"Oh my God" was all Jane said.

"What mom?" Nick said turning to his mother.

"Nothing honey, would you please stay here? I'll be right back" she said hurrying into the studio.

Nick stayed in front of me, and decided to sign for me while he was waiting for his mother to return.

"I'm sorry about that" Nick said trying to offer a smile.

"Nah, it's ok" I said. "I wonder what it was about, anyways."

"Yeah me too" Nick said confused. "Hey, what's your name? I can write it above my signature."

"Anna, but my friends just call me A.C." I said.

"A.C.? How come they call you that?"

"Because my full name is Anna Christina."

"Wow, that's a pretty name. I'd rather prefer Anna. A.C. reminds me so much of the little airhead, also known as my little brother."

I chuckled. Right then his mom came back, and hurried up to us.

"Excuse me" she said, "But can I just ask you one thing?" Jane pleaded.

"Yeah, 'course you can!" I said.

"What's your name?" she asked me.

"Anna, why?"

"I mean your full name?"

"Anna Christina ... Schröder, but hey what is this all about?" I asked some what irritated.

I could see tears forming in her eyes, and she was completely stunned.

"Mom, what's the matter?" Nick asked worriedly.

"You don't happen to have a baby photo of you somewhere?" Jane continued, ignoring her son.

"Well, it's a matter of fact I do. But why would you care to see that?"

I was now totally confused by the whole situation. I bent down on my knees, and opened my backpack, and started searching for my wallet. I finally found it, opened it and took out a small picture of me, as a 2 or 3 year old, with a young boy of 6 or 7 years of age standing behind me, pushing me on a swing. I had always wondered who that boy was. Nobody at the orphanage knew, or at least they didn't tell me. I had always had this picture with my belongings. But I treasured it, because it was a moment of my secret and unknown past, which had been taken away from me. Whenever I felt lonely, I would always look at this picture, reminding myself that once there was a boy who knew who I was, and who loved me.

I handed the picture over to Jane, who just stared at it, with her eyes wide open. Soon her knees weakened, and she passed out on the ground.

"MOM!!!" Nick yelled terrified and bent down on his knees, trying to wake his mother up.

All I could do was standing there, with my mouth open, and feeling nothing but confusion. Nick took the picture from his mother's hands, and as soon as he looked at it, his face turned white as a sheet, and tears formed in his eyes. He looked up at me, smiled and a tear trickled down his cheek.

"Please, what is going on???" I asked. "Tell me!"

Jane had awakened, and when Nick and her had come to their senses, they begged me to follow them inside. They excused themselves to the fans, and Nick took me by the hand and led me into the studio. I motioned for Sarah, that I'd be right back. Disappointed moans was heard from the crowd of fans. They too wanted to get inside with Nick. Neither them, nor I had no idea why I was taken back there.

Nick offered me a seat on one of the couches.

"Um... would you care for anything to drink?" he asked nervously.

"Yeah sure, what do you got?" I asked.

"Let's see..." Nick said opening the fridge. "We got Coke, Diet Coke, Fanta, Sprite, Dr. Pepper, Beer but you're too young for that, um... what else? Milk, Orange Juice."

"I'll have a Coke, please."

"Good choice" Nick said, grabbing one for me, and one for himself. He tossed the can over to me.

"Ok please, just tell me why I'm here?" I said.

Nick and his mom exchanged glances, sighed and sat down on each side of me.

"Honey, do you remember anything special from your childhood?" Jane asked in tears.

"No, not really. Just that I've been living in an orphanage, and for the past 4 or 5 years I've been staying with this foster-family. But I have this picture inside of my head... maybe it's just a dream, or I don't know. Nah just forget about it. It's nothing" I said.

"No, go on! Tell us!" Nick pleaded.

"Well... I have this memory of a beautiful beach, sunny weather, palm trees, a blue dress with flowers on, then suddenly a man with beard and an ice cream. And... that's where the memory/picture/dream ends."

I looked at Jane who had tears streaming down her cheeks. She leaned over and gave me a warm, gentle hug, and a peck on my cheek.

"I remember wearing that blue dress with flowers on, that day" Jane said dreamly her mind being somewhere else.

"We were all supposed to go to the beach for a picnic. Daddy couldn't come, because he was working, so it was just me and you kids. I told Nick to keep an eye on his younger sisters. And so he did. He was the perfect big brother, walking beside me holding one sister in each hand. I was carrying Leslie, who had just turned 1 year of age at the time being. We reached the beach around noon, and it was a lovely day. The sun was shining, and it was hot. I think it was the hottest day of the year. We settled down on a blanket, and started eating the food we had brought along. A few minutes had just passed when BJ started complaining about, that she had to use the bathroom. I quickly followed her to a restaurant nearby, and... when we returned... you weren't there, Jane said in tears. Nick was in the water, swimming and Leslie had fallen asleep. But you were no where to be found. I yelled for Nick to come, and when he approached me I asked him where you were, but he said he didn't know. I started panicking, and thousands of fightening thoughts crossed my mind; "What if you had drowned?" "What if you had gone out in the water, and a shark had come?". I would never forgive myself if anything had happened to you. I remember running around like crazy on the beach asking people if they had seen you. No one had. Finally I decided to call the police... and report you as missing! At the police station I would just sit there and burst into tears, while I was waiting for your daddy to come. Nick would sit by my side, comfort me and tell me that everything was going to be alright, and that they would find you. Even though I tried to convince myself that you would be found, in my heart I knew you were gone. The police searched for a few months, until they gave up. Those heartless people told me that you probably were dead. I didn't want to believe that. But as the years passed, I wasn't too sure any longer. But I never stopped thinking about you, I never stopped worrying that you would be alright. When I had Aaron and Angel, things were looking up for me. I could see life from the bright side again. Although during daytime I was happy and laughed, through the nights I cried. But life went on... and here we are today" Jane finished.

I felt nothing but confusion. I didn't really understand what she was talking about.

"Are you... saying that I'm... that I'm..." I started as my eyes were filled with water.

"...that you're my daughter" Jane finished for me.

I was in shock. Suddenly I started crying uncontrollably. I couldn't speak a word. I just sat there in shock, crying. Nick pulled me into his arms, and rocked me back and forth, telling me everything was fine, and we'd be alright. By the sound of his voice, I could tell he was crying too. We sat there, embracing eachother for more than 10 minutes. When we let go, Nick had a strange and sad look in his eyes.

"Nick what's wrong?" I asked worried.

"It was my fault" he finally said after being quiet for almost 5 minutes.

"What? It was nobody's fault. It just happened" Jane said.

"No" Nick said. "It was all my fault. If I had stayed with you, instead of running out in the water, it wouldn't have happened! I was selfish. I didn't want to look after you, I wanted to have a good time, playing on my own. But you see, since I was being such an ass, my little sister, whom I loved to death disappeared! Thanks to me, we lost you! I lost you! If you hadn't become a Backstreet Boy fan, we would never had found you! NEVER!" Nick yelled, and ran off crying.

I didn't know what to say. I was still in shock, and didn't know what to believe. An hour ago, I didn't even know if my family ever existed. And now I had a family, with 5 new siblings, two parents and on the top of that; one of the most famous families in the world! It was all very new to me, and I didn't know how to handle the situation.

Jane got up, and was about to go looking for her son, when I stopped her.

"Hey, let me do it" I pleaded.

"Ok maybe that's for the best!"

I walked off, searching for Nick. I called his name a few times, but got no answer. I looked around the studio, but couldn't find him. When I passed the toilets, I could hear a weak sobbing, comming from behind one of the doors. I knew instantly it was Nick. I knocked softly on the door.

"Don't... even think... about it" Nick said still sobbing.

"It's me Nick... please let me in" I begged him.

Suddenly silence fell over the room. Several minutes passed, before I heard the lock open. I slowly opened up the door, and there on the floor Nick sat, with a tear-streamy face, and a sad look in his eyes. He looked so small and helpless. I sat down on the floor next to him, not saying a word.

He looked at me.

"I'm so sorry" he said. "If it weren't for me, you'd have spent your life happy with this family, not far away in some other country, in an orphanage or a foster-family."

"Nick, it's not your fault. I don't blame you. This is still very confusing, and I don't know what to think."

"I understand if you hate me, go right ahead, I won't complain, for what I did is unacceptable, and unforgiveable, and I'll regret this for the rest of my life, and..."

"...shhh! Nick for the last time; it wasn't your fault, it just happened, and I don't hate you. I love you! And... there's nothing to appologize about! I am just so happy, that I finally found out who I am, and where I come from."

I enveloped him in a hug, which lasted for about 15 minutes.

"Welcome home sis" Nick said.

~1 month later~

I woke up early, knowing this was the day. The day when my fate would be decided, and the day when I would find out where I was going to stay. I didn't know what I wanted. Although I had become to love the Carter family, I wasn't sure I wanted to leave Sweden, the place where I had spent my childhood, and my youth. I didn't want to leave Sarah. She was my bestfriend. When I had told her that Nick was actually my brother, she had freaked out totally. She was so excited of meeting him again, since Nick was her favorite Backstreet Boy. I had arranged a private meeting with her and Nick, where he would take her out for dinner, and make her feel special all night. Sarah could't sleep for days after that. She was lost in her own little world of happiness.

My foster-parents, Jane, Bob, two legal advisors and a judge would discuss the matters during a meeting this afternoon. Since I was still living with my foster-parents the judge decided the meeting to be held in Stockholm.

I got up, and went into the bathroom to take a shower. I just stood there, gathering all my thoughts and let the hot water run over my body. I got snapped back to reality by a knocking on the door.

"Anna, you've been in there for 35 minutes now! We have to leave soon!" my foster-mother said, some what irritated.

"Oh sorry" I said. "I was just day-dreaming".

I turned the water off, and stepped out of the shower. I put a towel on my wet body, and walked out of the bathroom back to my bedroom. I dried my hair, brushed it, and put it up in a pony tail. Then I opened my closet, and tried to figure out what to wear. I picked out a pair of blue jeans, and a Nike sweater. Just something simple. I laced my Nike sneakers, and went down the stairs.

It was unusually warm for December. There was no snow, and the temperature was a couple degrees above 32*F. On my way to the kitchen, I passed the old chest of drawers, which had a few pictures framed on the top of it. I stopped for moment, and looked at the pictures. There was my foster-parents' wedding picture, and a picture from the christening of their own daughter, who was 4 years younger than me. There was also a picture of my "grandparents". But none of me. I instantly looked around the room. Alot of framed pictures were hanging on the walls. Pictures of the family, of relatives, and of friends. But none of me. I knew I didn't belong here.

I ran out of the room, and headed for the kitchen. As I entered it, my foster-mother asked me

"Got everything settled?"

"Yeah... I guess" I said uncertain.

"Ok good then. Here's your breakfast" she said handing over a tray with a cup of vanilla tea, 2 slices of toast with strawberry jam (my favorite) and an orange.

I took the tray and went out into the dining room, sat down on the nearest chair and started eating. The food didn't taste much. I was so nervous I thought I would burst. I didn't finish my tea. I think that was the last time I ever had vanilla tea. Weird because that was usually my favorite.

My foster-father, foster-mother and I hurried out to the car. We knew we were a bit late and drove past the speed limit to get to the court house in time. Through the whole ride I felt a lump in my tummy. It didn't want to go away. I noticed my hands were shaking as well. I was trying to hide them, as I didn't like showing people I was scared or nervous. This time I was scared. Really scared!

My foster-father turned into the parking lot of the Court House, found an empty parking space, turned the engine off and we all stepped out of the car. I walked between the only people I had known as parents in my life, the only ones who had ever really cared about me since I came to that orphanage.

We entered the building. I took a deep breath, thinking; "this is it! there's no turning back now". I saw the whole Carter family sitting in the hallway, outside a room with a huge oak-wooded door. They all rose when they saw us coming towards them. My foster-parents shook hands with Jane and Bob, and I nodded and smiled at Nick and his younger siblings. My siblings. Us kids weren't allowed during the meeting, but we just wanted to be there so that we instantly would know the verdict. The two legal advisors arrived in moments, and all the adults went inside the room behind us. Now I had nothing but the waiting. A waiting that seemed for years. I paced up and down the hallway, with my hands crossed on my back, and my eyes fixed on the floor. Millions of thoughts were running around my head in that moment. I turned over and looked at the others. Aaron and Angel were playing 'rock, paper, scissors', Leslie and BJ were talking quietly about something. Nick was staring off into space, his mind being somewhere else. When I approached him, he got snapped back to reality and looked at me, with a worried and sad look in his eyes. He cared so much, and it really toched my heart.

"Hi there" he said.

"Hey" I said.

"You ok?" he asked with concern in his voice.

"I don't know" was all I could say.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Nah... I'll be fine" I said trying to sound convincing. "Thanks anyway!"

"Thanks for what?"

"For caring, and wanting to listen to what I have to say."

"Anytime" Nick said. "Anytime".

His baby blue eyes had lost their sparkling. They were now rather gray than blue. He pulled me into a brotherly hug, his hands patting on my back.

The sound of a door opening interupted us. Nick let me go, and turned towards the direction the sound had come from. There stood Jane, Bob, my foster-parents and the two legal advisors. Both Jane and my foster-mother had been crying, I could tell by their tear-streamy faces.

"So?" Nick asked excited.

"You're all ours honey" Jane said holding out her arms and embraced me. I looked over at Nick, who had tears in his eyes and he was grinning at me. I hugged Nick, Aaron, Angel, Leslie, BJ and Bob - My new and real family. After more tears and hugs we decided that I would go back to my house to pack my stuff together, and to say good-bye.

The car ride home was silent. I was afraid to speak. Afraid that my foster-parents would be mad at me or something. For what I didn't know. The car pulled over at our house, or what who used to be my house. I slowly walked up to the old main entrance, unlocked the door and went inside.

After about an hour I was ready. I took a last look of my room, and then closed the door... for good! I walked down the stairs, carrying my suitcase, and dropped it onto the floor. My foster-mother stood there watching me. I went over to her, gave her a hug, as some tears trickled down my cheek.

"I'll never forget your kindness" I said.

"I'll miss you" she said sobbing. "Now you remember to be a good girl, behave and show them we were good parents to you! Make us proud, ok?"

"I will. I promise."

I let go, and went over to my foster-father and gave him a hug too. He hugged me back, ever so gently.

"You remember to write, and call, and pay us a visit sometime?!" he said, trying to be strong.

"I will. Of course I will" I said.

I took one last look around the house. Trying to memorize it. I then grabbed my suitcase, and headed for the door. I opened it, and looked behind one last time. My foster-mother waved at me. I waved back and walked out to the taxi-limo with the whole Carter family inside. It would take us to the airport.

Through the ride I was looking out through the window, thinking that I wouldn't be seeing the beautiful landscapes of Sweden which I loved so much, for a long time. I knew I would be missing Sweden alot. I had my friends there, and also part of my life. But I never regreted going with Sarah that day to meet the Backstreet Boys. That day, a long time ago in November. When I walked out of that door to my old house, I walked out of my old life, and stepping into my new.