Katelin stared out the kitchen window and watched Nick play with the kids in the backyard. She smiled, contently, to herself. Everything was starting to feel normal again. She and Nick were starting to get back on track. They were still living in separate houses and seeing a therapist but they were 100 times better than they had been a month ago.
She turned around and walked over to the fridge, stopping and looking at the ultrasound picture that was stuck to it. She traced her finger over the small piece of paper, tears springing to her eyes. She always got like this when she was pregnant. Overly emotional.
“Hey…” Katelin jumped nearly ten feet in the air at the sound of Nick’s voice in her ear.
“Jesus!” She put her hand over her heart. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to sneak up on a pregnant woman like that?”
He wrapped his arms around her waist and looked up at him with his best puppy dog face. “I’m sorry, honey. Forgive me?”
She playfully shoved him away. “Oh please.” She grabbed the lemonade out of the fridge and walked over to the counter. “And where are my children?”
“Still outside playing,” he answered, hopping up on the counter.
“You’d think you lived here or something…” Katelin mumbled under her breath, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.
Nick’s ears perked up at the, albeit facetious, statement. “Actually, I was hoping we could talk about that.”
“Nick…” Katelin began.
Nick cut her off. “Just hear me out, Kate. I love you. You love me. We’re married. We have three children together. We’re having another one. I mean, what’s keeping us from living together again?”
Katelin was silent for a minute, a thousand things running through her head. She was sure that Nick loved her. But she was still so scared that he was going to up and leave her again. And she knew she couldn’t deal with that again. It would literally kill her. She was happy with the way things were right now. She felt safe. She felt like nothing could hurt her. She figured that, at least right now, if she allowed him to move back into their house, she’d be setting herself up for an even harder fall than the last time.
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
“So where is Mr. Carter today?” Dr. Morris asked, glancing at Katelin’s chart.
“He had something that he couldn’t get out of,” Katelin explained, taking a deep breath as the doctor began to examine her.
“Hmm…” Dr. Morris mumbled to herself.
“Something wrong?” Katelin asked, a hint of fear in her eyes. “You sound funny.”
“I’m not sure…” she replied. “The heartbeat is still weak, Kate. Have you been taking your vitamins?”
“Every day,” Katelin replied, her eyes now wide with fear. “The baby’s okay, right?”
“Everything’s fine, Katelin.” Dr. Morris smiled, comfortingly. “I’m just concerned that it hasn’t reached a normal rate, yet. I need you to keep it to moderate exercise, Kate. Just walking, okay? Maybe try yoga. Just stay off of your feet as much as possible. And I’m worried that you stress yourself out too much. You need to stop that. The more stress you’re under, the more stress you put on the baby.”
**** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
Katelin walked into her house later that night, hearing the voices of her husband and children. She walked in and observed the scene in front of her. Nick making pasta. Aaron making a salad. Brian and Kayleigh putting placemats on the table. A tear slipped down her cheek at the sight. They were finally coming back together as a family. Maybe she should let Nick move in here again. Finally put their family back together.
“Hi mom!” Aaron greeted, jumping off of the chair he was standing on and running over to her.
Nick glanced up, surprised. He hadn’t even heard her come in. “Hey. Where’ve you been? I’ve been calling your cell for hours now.”
“I know,” She replied. “I was in the library at school. Didn’t have my cell phone with me.” She leaned down and gave her oldest son a kiss on the cheek. “So what’s for dinner?”
“Pasketti,” Kayleigh answered. “We helping.”
“I see that, baby.” Katelin answered, grinning. “Why don’t you guys wash up, okay? I need to talk to your dad for a minute. We’ll call you for dinner.” She watched as the three of them scattered out of the room and up the stairs. She looked at Nick who was watching her curiously.
“What’s wrong?” Nick asked, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards him. “You look stressed. You had me kind of worried when I couldn’t get a hold of you.”
“I had work to get done,” Kate replied, looking at the ground.
“How’d the appointment go?” He glanced at her with questioning eyes, becoming worried when she refused to look at him. “Kate? Nothing’s wrong, right?”
“Not really,” she answered, slowly. “Heartbeat is still pretty weak.”
“And that’s a bad thing.” He was quick to point out the obvious.
“Gee, what do you think?” She snapped, glaring at him.
Nick threw his hands up in defense. “Hey, hey. Don’t snap at me. I was just clarifying. Now why is it like that?”
“She says I’m too stressed,” she told him, sitting down in a chair, covering her hands with her face. “I don’t know what to do, Nick. I mean, I’m really trying.”
“Now, don’t hate me for this,” he began. “But maybe you should quit school until after the baby’s born. That’s probably the reason you’re so stressed out.”
She glared at him. “How can you expect me to do that? Do you know how long I’ve wanted this? How hard I’ve worked for this? Jesus, Nick, how can you even suggest something like that?”
Nick threw his hands up in frustration and stood up, pushing his chair away, angrily. “I can’t believe you, Kate. This is our baby we’re talking about. What the hell is more important?”
“I’m not dropping out, Nick,” she told him, sternly. “I’m sorry, but this is one decision you don’t get to make.” Before Nick could say another word, Katelin called the kids for dinner and they all came scampering down the stairs. The three of them sat at the table and ate, oblivious to the tension between their parents.
***** ***** ***** **** ***** *****
Katelin stood in the bathroom, staring at herself in the mirror. She did look tired. Much better than she had months ago when Nick was gone, but she still didn’t look great. She had been losing weight. Something that wasn’t uncommon for someone in their first tri-mester, but the amount that she was losing wasn’t exactly healthy. The doctor had warned her about that. She wasn’t eating right.
Nick had been tucking the kids in the bed while Katelin was getting ready for bed. He felt bad about before. He knew that he had crossed a line by asking her to quit school. It wasn’t fair of him. Why should she have to give something up that she worked so hard for when he wasn’t going to do the same? He sighed to himself as he closed Aaron’s bedroom door and walked back into the master bedroom. The room that he used to share with his wife. The room that he hoped they would share again.
He found her in the bathroom, wiping her face on a towel. He quietly walked up behind her and slipped his arms around her waist. “I’m sorry,” he whispered in her ear. “I shouldn’t have even suggested it. I know how much you want this.”
“I’m going to have to take next semester off,” she explained. “I was already planning on doing that. But that’s it. I’m not dropping out early.”
His lips found her neck as she leaned her head back against his shoulder. “I love you, Kate.”
“I love you too, baby,” she replied, her eyes fluttering closed. She reluctantly pulled away from him a minute later and turned around to face him. “We need to talk about something else, though.”
“What…” Nick groaned, talking the farthest thing from his mind.
Katelin giggled and sauntered into the bedroom. “Calm down, Carter. I won’t deprive you forever. Just for the next few minutes.”
Nick ran in after her and tackled her down on the bed, straddling her waist. “Oh really, now?”
“Nick…” she whined. “Pregnant…baby…remember? No tackling the pregnant wife.”
“Wife,” Nick grinned. “I like the sound of that. To think that I almost never would have heard that again.” Before Katelin could retort, he cut her off. “Don’t say anything. I don’t want to hear it.”
“Anyway,” Katelin stressed. “I needed to talk to you?” She laughed when Nick nodded his head wildly, like a little kid. “Well, I was thinking about what we talked about the other day.”
“What’s that?” Nick climbed off and laid down next to her, pulling her into his arms.
“About you moving back in,” she clarified. “Offer’s open if you want it.”
“You sure?” he asked her with wide eyes. “I mean, Kate, if you’re not ready…”
“I am ready, Nick,” she explained. “I didn’t think that I was. I was scared. I’m still scared. But I love you, Nicky. I’ve missed you so much. And I just want you back here with me. I want us to be a real family again.”
“We will,” Nick replied, pulling her closer to him and kissing her slowly. “I love you.”