“Hey,” Brian pulled Howie aside. “Where’s AJ?” He looked around and saw Nick talking to his mom a few feet away.

“Uh…” Howie stuttered. “He didn’t tell you?”

Brian’s eyes narrowed. “Where is he, Howie?”

Howie sighed. He was supposed to keep AJ’s secret, just in case he didn’t find her. But he supposed telling Brian wouldn’t hurt. “New York.”

“What the hell is he doing in New York?” Brian cried, in a controlled whisper.

“He thinks that he found her,” Howie replied, quietly.

“Found who?” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, his eyes widened in realization. “Shit. Have you heard from him? Did he see her?”

“Slow down,” Howie chuckled. “And I heard from him a few hours ago but he hadn’t found her yet. He was on his way to what he thought was her apartment. But I haven’t heard from him since.”

“God, I hope he finds her,” Brian breathed, glancing over towards Nick. “As much as I’d hate to admit it, she may their only hope.”

***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *******

She looked like she was going to pass out. That was the first thing that crossed Brendan’s mind and he quickly jumped up to grab her arm. “What…A…AJ?” she stuttered, her eyes watering as Brendan led her over to the couch.

“Bet I was the last person you’d thought you’d ever see,” AJ sneered, glaring at her. There was something in him that almost felt bad for her. She looked terrified, her eyes as wide as saucers and she was shaking like a leaf. She was skinny. She had always been skinny but she was unhealthy-looking-skinny. AJ had always thought that Katelin was beautiful. Big blue eyes, tanned skin, long blond hair, a huge bright smile. But now, Brendan was right. She looked like she had been through hell. “You have nothing to say, do you?”

Her eyes fell to her lap. “What do you want me to say, AJ?” she whispered.

“How about we start with why you walked out?” He yelled. “With why you walked out on your children? On your husband? And why, after knowing your son is seriously sick, you could still stay the fuck away? Why, Kate?!” He took a deep breath after his rant and just stared at her. Her head fell into her hands and she just cried. He watched as Brendan pulled her into his arms and whispered comforting words to her, all the while glaring at AJ.

“You wouldn’t understand,” she hiccuped, lifting her head up and looking at him. “You have no idea, AJ. No idea!” She stood up and poked him in the chest. “And you have no fucking right just barging in here like this!” She had tears streaming down her face as she hit him in the chest. He looked at Brendan, helpless, but Brendan just stood there and shook his head. AJ grabbed her arm to get her to stop and that’s when he saw it. “Katie?” he whispered, looking at her.

Katelin ripped her arm from his grasp and rubbed where he had grabbed her. “Get the hell out of here, AJ.”

“Look I’m sorry,” he began, trying a different approach. “I didn’t mean to come in here and start yelling…”

“Yes you did,” she interrupted, feeling stronger and like she could finally stand up for herself. “You had every intention to do this AJ. You have no fucking clue what has gone on my life these past few years. Do you think it was easy for me to walk out on my children? On my husband who I loved more than anything in the world?” He shook his head. “No, it was the hardest, most awful thing I’ve ever done in my life. And I regret every single second that I haven’t spent with them. But you have no clue. So don’t waltz in here and start yelling like you have all the answers. You have no idea.”

“Fine,” AJ huffed, defeated. He was never going to get anything out of her this way. “I know I don’t know anything about your life anymore, but, God, Kate…Your son is sick. And you’ve known. Do you know that they can’t find a donor for him?” She looked down at her feet, ashamed. “Everyone’s been tested. And no one is a match and the only other option is to place him on a donor list. They may never find one, Kate. And he needs one fast.”

She had collapsed back on the couch, back into Brendan’s arms, with her face buried in her hands while she cried. Hearing all of this…it made it so real…and it made her realize what an awful parent she was. Her son was dying and here she was, hundreds of miles away, feeling sorry for herself. She looked up at AJ, her husband’s brother. “Is he going to die?”

AJ shrugged. He wasn’t a doctor. Medically, he didn’t have a damn clue. But he wasn’t stupid. The doctor’s news got worse and worse everyday. Aaron needed a bone marrow transplant. And he needed one fast. “Kate, you need to get tested.”

Her eyes flew to Brendan. He was the only one in the world that understood her. That understood what she had gone through. He had been there through everything and knew how hard it would be for her to face that part of her life. Not that she didn’t face it every night in her dreams. But could she face it in reality? Katelin wasn’t so sure.

***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****

“Hey,” AJ greeted his wife when he walked into the living room of his house, later that night.

Amanda looked up from the book she was reading. “Hey baby. How’d it go?”

“I found her,” AJ sighed, collapsing on to the couch next to his wife. “In New York.”

Amanda’s eyes widened. “What?! What happened? How’d she look? Did she offer any explanation about why she left? Is she coming back?”

AJ chuckled. “Slow down, baby.” He pulled her closer towards him and placed a kiss on her forehead. “And no, she didn’t tell me why she left. And I have no idea if she’s coming back.”

“Did you tell Nick?” Amanda questioned, leaning her head on his shoulder and entwining her hand with his.

AJ shook his head. “No. I can’t tell him, babe. What if she doesn’t come back?”

“AJ you have to,” she told him, sternly. “That’s his wife. The mother of his children. You have to at least tell him where to find her.”

He sighed. “I know. But…God…Manda, she looked awful. Absolutely awful.”

“How so?” Amanda asked, concerned.

He shrugged. “Just all around awful. I know it sounds cliché, but she really looked like a shell of her former self. I was thinking earlier, I always used to think she was gorgeous, but now, I barely even recognize her.”

***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****

“Hey,” Brynn greeted Nick, when he opened his front door. “What’s up? You sounded funny on the phone.”

He shrugged. “Nothing new. I just wanted to see you.”

“How’s Aaron?” she asked, stepping inside the house. It was quiet. Way more quiet than usual.

“He’s doing better,” he told her, leading her into the living room. “He’s in bed already. God, he was so tired.”

Brynn sat next to him on the couch, leaning her head on his shoulder. “He’s going to be fine, Nick. I just know it. You’re going to find a donor and then this will all be behind you.”

“God, I hope you’re right,” Nick whispered, pulling her even closer to him. “Because, I don’t know what would happen if I lost him.”

She pulled away from his grasp and grabbed his face in her hands, looking him straight in the eye. “You’re not going to lose him, Nicky. Never.”

He stared at her a second before slowly, leaning in closer to her, and placing his lips on hers. He parted her lips with his tongue and slid it inside. Brynn moaned, slightly, before wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling her closer. He responded by laying back on the couch and pulling her on top of him. She pulled away for a second. “Where are Brian and Kayleigh?” she asked.

“My parents,” he responded, quietly. “Aaron’s asleep.”

She nodded and placed her lips back on his. Nick’s hands slid down her back and began untucking her shirt. “Let’s go upstairs,” he whispered. She nodded and stood up, reaching her hands up so she could pull him up. He grasped her hand and led her upstairs, away from everything. Away from doctors, from hospitals, from sick children, from bone marrow transplants and donors…from missing wives….

***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****

He followed her into the elevator, watching her carefully the whole time. She hadn’t stopped shaking since they had gotten off the plane. “Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked her.

She turned to look at him, her eyes full of fear. “I have to, Brendan. I can’t just sit in New York and pretend none of this is happening. He’s my son…”

Brendan reached out and pulled her closer to him, placing a kiss on the top of her head. “I’m so proud of you, Kate. I know you think that you’re a horrible person. But a horrible person would’ve stayed away for good. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

Katelin chuckled, bitterly. “If that was the case, I wouldn’t have left in the first place.” He didn’t want to upset her, so he didn’t push her any further. She had taken a huge step last night, deciding to come to Florida. And then an even bigger one early this morning when she stepped on that plane. He would do nothing but support her the entire time. This would probably be one of the hardest things she would ever do. Well, except for leaving in the first place, of course. But it took guts for her to show her face to these people again. And he would be behind her one hundred percent.

They got settled into their room and Katelin looked around, finally collapsing on the bed. “Should I just go over there?”

Brendan nodded. “There’s really nothing else you can do, Kate. You need to talk to him and face-to-face is the only way you can do it.”

“But,” she began, taking a deep breath. “What if the children are there? I can’t do that to them. Just show up like that.”

“You have no choice, Kate,” he told her, sternly. “You have to go over there. And so what, if they’re there? They’re your kids, Kate. You have every right to see them.”

“I gave up that right, Brendan,” she mumbled. “Three years ago when I left.”

“Just go,” he ordered, grabbing her hands and pulling her up. “Do you want me to go with you?”

Katelin shook her head. “No. I have to do this.”

She looked in the mirror. “God I look like hell.”

He chuckled. “No you don’t, honey. Just go over there and talk to him. Tell him everything you told me on the plane. He’ll listen, Kate. He has to.”

She nodded and pulled Brendan in for a hug. “I love you, Brendan. God, you have no idea what you’ve done for me.”

He smiled, wistfully. He knew that she did. But never in the way that she loved him. “I know you do, Kate. I love you too,” he told her, the words holding a deeper meaning. One that she didn’t even realize.

“Yeah, I’m here,” Brynn said in the phone. “He took Aaron early this morning. His fever must have spiked again during the night….I don’t know…He said he’d call…Okay…Just bring them over whenever. I’ll be here…Okay…Bye Jane.” She clicked off the phone and set it down on the table, looking around Nick’s kitchen. She was nervous, waiting to hear from Nick. He needed to get some good news today. The days just seemed to get worse and worse. Everyday, someone else got tested. And every day, that person wasn’t a match. They needed to find one…and soon.

The doorbell ringing shook her from her thoughts and she stood up from the kitchen table, making her way into the foyer. The gate never buzzed so she assumed it must be one of the guys who knew the code. She unlocked and then opened the door, her breath catching in her throat. “Can I help you?”

Katelin was startled. She was so nervous, expecting Nick to open the door. But instead, an unfamiliar woman stood in front of her. An unfamiliar, drop-dead gorgeous woman. “Um…is Nick here?”

Brynn shook her head, her hand shaking like a leaf as she opened the door wider. “He’s not here right now,” she heard herself saying. “But, please, come in.”

Katelin tentatively stepped inside the house, wondering why this woman was inviting her into the house if Nick wasn’t even there. “Is…is anyone else here?”

“No,” Brynn replied, closing the door behind Katelin, and leading her into the living room. “Um…Jane’s supposed to bring the twins back a little later.” She watched as, at the mention of her two young children, Katelin’s eyes filled up with tears and she dropped her gaze to the floor. The house was silent for a minute while the two of them just stood there, both of them undoubtedly feeling uncomfortable. To Katelin, it was pretty obvious why Brynn was there. And Brynn didn’t know what to do. She knew who this woman was and the fact that she was here, standing in Nick’s living room, scared her to death.

Katelin finally lifted her gaze from the floor and glanced around the room. Not much had changed. The furniture was still the same, although arranged differently than it had been before. She spotted a few pictures on the shelves and walked over to look at them. She reached her hand up and traced the images of her children. Brian and Kayleigh had been so young when she left. Now they were five years old. And Aaron. He looked so much like his father it was unreal. “They’re beautiful children,” she heard from behind her. She turned around, catching the other woman’s gaze and nodded.

She was about to respond when they heard the front door open and then slam shut. “Brynn? The door was unlocked so I thought I’d come in…” The woman stopped short when she walked into the living room. “Holy shit…”

Katelin’s eyes, once again, filled with tears at the sight of her old friend. Out of all the Backstreet wives, Leighanne and Katelin had always been so close, being the fact that Brian and Nick were so close. But now, Katelin couldn’t even read the look on her old friend’s face. She didn’t know what to make of it. A mix of surprise, hurt, and disgust.

“What are you doing here?” Leighanne asked. She hadn’t meant it to sound so harsh. But that’s the way it had come out.

“Uh…” Katelin stuttered, clearly flustered at the whole situation. “I…I needed to talk to Nick...” She reached into her purse and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen, scribbling something down. She turned to Brynn and shoved the paper into her hand. “I need to go…Um…just give that to Nick for me please?” Without even looking at Leighanne, she hurried past the two of them and out the front door, leaving the two women standing bewildered in the living room.

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