Nick heard the click of the lock and then watched as the door slowly opened. He was not prepared for what he saw. There stood Brendan in front of him. The one person who always made him feel so insecure around Kate. They had been such close friends since before Nick and Katelin had even met and, now, here he was opening the door to her hotel room. Or was it their hotel room? “Brendan?”

“Hi,” Brendan greeted, nervously. He looked behind him. Katelin couldn’t see Nick and Nick couldn’t see her. But Brendan could see her and she looked absolutely terrified. He turned back around to Nick. “Come on in.”

“Is she here?” Nick asked, stepping into the room. He didn’t want to look all the way inside yet. He was way too damn nervous.

Brendan nodded and then stepped around Nick. “I’m gonna go downstairs to the bar for a while. Leave you guys alone.” Nick smiled, slightly and then watched as Brendan walked out the door. As the door closed, Nick slowly turned around and finally, after almost three years, came face to face with his wife.

They just stared at each other, neither one of them saying anything. Katelin wanted so desperately to just run into his arms but she stood rooted to her spot. She knew she’d be crossing a line had she done that. He looked better than she had ever remembered. A few years older but beautiful just the same. The same spiky hair. The same gorgeous blue eyes. To Nick, it wasn’t that he barely recognized her. It was still her. But she just looked so…lost. He guessed that was the word he was looking for. He didn’t know what to even say to her. There were so many thoughts running through his head. He didn’t know what to voice first. And by the looks of things, he was going to have to be the one to make the first move.

“I don’t really know why I’m here,” he admitted, softly. “I mean, I know why I’m here…but…I don’t know what I want from you. If I want anything, that is.”

She nodded, not sure of what to say. How desperately she wanted to tell him everything. But she didn’t think she could do it right now. This was all way too much for her to deal with. “Why are you here?” he asked. “Now? After all this?”

“I…I” she stuttered. “I heard about Aaron. I mean, I heard that they can’t find a donor for him….I…He’s my son, Nick. I couldn’t stay away knowing that he’s so sick.”

And then it happened. Nick knew he wasn’t going to be able to keep his emotions in check for very long. He laughed. Hard and bitter. And at that sound, Katelin visibly flinched. “Your son, huh?” Nick sneered. “You have no fucking right to refer to him as that, you know? What kind of a mother walks out on her children without so much as an explanation or a goodbye?”

“Nick…” she tried to get him to stop, his words feeling like a thousand knives stabbing her in the heart.

“No!” he yelled. “Don’t ‘Nick’ me, Kate. I want to know why! For three years, I’ve sat in my house, with my children wondering what the hell we did that was so wrong. What the hell did we do to drive you away from us?”

“I can’t…” Katelin choked out. “Please, Nick. Don’t make me go there right now. I…I can’t…God, I never wanted to leave. You have to believe me. I love you guys so much.”

“I don’t have to believe anything that comes out of your mouth,” Nick growled, his hands balled into fists. If he let himself get too worked up, he wasn’t sure how he could control himself. He wanted to just grab her and shake her. Find out what the hell was wrong with her. “And don’t sit there and tell me how much you loved me and those kids. If you did, you never would’ve left.”

“Please,” she begged. “I just want to help Aaron. Tell me what I have to do. I’ll do anything to make sure he’s okay.”

“He’s not okay,” he sneered. “He has a fucking life-threatening disease, Kate.”

“I just want to help him,” she told him, quietly. “What do I do?”

Nick sighed. He almost wanted to say no. They didn’t need her help. But, obviously, he couldn’t do that. They did need her. If she was the one who could help him, than he was just going to have to suck it up and let her. “You need to get tested to see if you’re a match.”

Kate nodded, praying that she could help her son. With her next question, she knew she was going out on a limb. But she had to try. “Can I see him? And Brian and Kayleigh?”

Nick’s head shot towards her and he glared at her. “You think it’s going to be that easy? You think I’m just gonna let you walk in there and be like, hey kids, I’m back? Hell no, Kate. You can’t see them right now.”

“Nick,” she pleaded. “They’re my children. Please…”

“They’re not your fucking children,” he growled, his words dripping with venom. “You may have given birth to them but you walked out, Kate. You gave up all your rights when it comes to them. If and when I decide it’s the right time for you to see them, then you can. But not before that. They’ve been through enough. They don’t need you showing up and confusing the hell out of them.”

Katelin sighed, defeated. It’s not like she expected to waltz back in here and back into their lives as if she had never left. But it physically hurt her to know that her son was sick and she couldn’t even go near him. And Brian and Kayleigh? They were growing up without her. She missed their first day of school. Everything. It was no one’s fault but her own but she didn’t have a choice. Had she stayed, who knows what would’ve happened?

“There is one thing I need from you,” Nick finally spoke again.

“What?” she asked, pain etched across her face.

He had to look away. The hurt in her eyes was almost too much and, if he kept looking at her, he wasn’t sure he could even say it. He couldn’t believe it had finally come down to this. Well, it almost had once before but this time, he knew it was for real. The last time, well, who knows what that had been? It’s not like he knew then that it wasn’t going to happen. Hindsight’s only twenty-twenty and all. But this time, it was real. “I want a divorce. I want to finally move on with my life.”

***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****

“They said they’d have the results in a little while,” Nick told Brian quietly. They were back at the hospital. Aaron’s fever had risen yet again and the doctors decided it would be better if they admitted him so that they could keep an eye on him.

“How’s Aaron doing?” Brian asked, sitting down next to his friend in the waiting room.

Nick shrugged. “He’s sleeping. He’ll probably be out for a few hours.”

“Are you going to let her come see him?” Brian looked over at his friend. He knew that Nick had gone to talk to Kate but he had no idea what had transpired during their conversation.

“I told her no,” Nick admitted, quietly. Brian really couldn’t say that he was surprised that Nick wouldn’t want his children to see their mother but he was surprised that he actually voiced that to Kate. He didn’t think Nick could turn her down. “She asked me if she could see them. But what was I supposed to say, Bri? That would just confuse the hell out of them. I’ve got way too much going on around me right now to deal with that.”

“Are you ever going to let her?” Brian questioned. He understood why he didn’t want her near them right now. At least until he knew what to tell them. But he didn’t think that Nick should keep her away forever. She was their mother and she wanted to see them. Brian didn’t think it was right for Nick to keep them from her.

Nick shrugged again. “I guess…I mean, it really wouldn’t be right to keep them from her. But…I don’t know...” He paused. He was so goddamned confused. She had stepped back into his life and completely turned his world upside down. He still couldn’t believe what he had done last night. He was sure about it. But he even surprised himself. He remembered what Brian had said a couple of months ago. Something about if he had ever run into Kate again, would he still want it to be over? Nick had said it so surely then. But it still surprised him that he was able to finally put it all into words. “I told her I wanted it to finally be over. That I wanted a divorce.”

“Really?” Brian’s eyes widened. “Wow. For some reason, I wasn’t sure it’d ever come to that.”

“What was I supposed to do?” Nick questioned. “I can’t stay married to her. I’ve moved on. Apparently she has too. It’s for the best.”

“What do you mean, she has too?” Brian asked, confused.

“Brendan,” Nick stated, flatly. No emotion in his voice. “It’s obvious. He’s been with her for the past three years. He’s probably the reason she left in the beginning. I always wondered about those two.”

“Nick…” Brian began, not believing for a second that Brendan was the reason Katelin walked away from her family. She loved Nick way too much for that. But he was interrupted by the sound of Nick’s cell phone ringing. He listened as Nick answered it. “Yeah…Hi…Really? Oh, thank God….I’ll meet you there in fifteen…Bye.”

Brian eyed Nick questioningly. “That was Kate,” Nick told him. “She’s a match.”

“She is?” Brian asked, excitedly. “Oh that’s great, Nick.”

Nick smiled, wistfully. “Yeah it is. Um…I told her I’d meet her at Dr. Pryor’s office. We need to discuss what to do next. Do you mind staying here with Aaron?”

Brian smiled. “Not at all. Go ahead. Call me when you know what’s going on.”

***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****

The hallway was quiet. The waiting room empty. It was late. Too late for anyone to still be here. Would he still be there? She glanced at the piece of paper in her hand. Leighanne had been nice enough to tell her which room it was. She didn’t know what she was going to do. She didn’t want to go against Nick’s wishes but she had to see her son. So she decided to come here late at night. Just to see him.

She finally reached the part of the hall that the room was at. She recognized the familiar stature of Nick’s longtime friend and bodyguard, Mike, standing outside the room. She had no idea how he would react to seeing her there. She approached carefully, not wanting to startle the man. He finally looked up and spotted her. “What are you doing here?” he whispered, almost angrily. “I thought Nick didn’t want you anywhere near Aaron.”

“Please Mike,” she pleaded, quietly. “He’s sleeping. Can I at least just see him?”

“Nick’s in there,” Mike told her. “He’s sleeping but if he wakes up…I don’t think he’ll like it, Kate…”

“Please,” she said again. “I swear I won’t be long. I just want to see him, Mike. Can’t you understand that?”

Mike thought for a second before finally relenting. He moved away from the door and allowed her to enter the room. She carefully turned the knob and quietly opened the door. Hesitating only a little bit, she walked inside the hospital room. Nick was asleep in the chair next to the bed, grasping his son’s little hand. He looked so uncomfortable. Aaron was sprawled out in the hospital bed, what looked like a zillion machines hooked up to his small, frail body. A sob caught in Katelin’s throat and her hand flew to her mouth. He was so big but yet he looked so sick. How could she have done this? Walked away from her own children? She missed everything in the last three years. And now, unless the transplant was a success, she may never get it back. At least with Aaron.

Aaron stirred slightly on the bed and for a moment, Katelin froze. She didn’t want him to know she was there. Nick was right. That would only confuse him. Nick needed to talk to the children before Katelin could reappear. But the little boy didn’t wake up. He only dropped his father’s hand and rolled over, facing away from Katelin and towards the window.

Katelin’s gaze moved to Nick. He was curled up in the chair, his head thrown back. She wanted to do nothing more than curl up with him. Be there with him through this nightmare of Aaron’s disease. She spotted a blanket in the corner of the room and tip-toed over to get it. The least she could do was cover him up with it. She retrieved the blanket and moved back towards Nick. Just as she was about to place the blanket over him, he grabbed her wrist.

“What the hell are you doing?” he hissed.

“I…uh…” she stuttered. “I don’t know.”

He stood up and all but dragged her from the room, closing the door quietly behind him. “I thought I told you to stay away from here.”

“Nick, he’s my son,” her eyes filled with tears at the hard look on his face.

“I don’t care.” He would’ve yelled at her, had it not been late at night in a hospital. “I don’t need Aaron to see you and then ask a bunch of questions that I don’t have answers to.”

“I just wanted to see him, Nick,” she ripped her arm from his grasp, rubbing her sore wrist. “I deserve at least that.”

“You don’t deserve anything,” Nick sneered, looking up to glare at Mike. “What the hell were you thinking letting her in there?”

“I’m sorry, Nick,” Mike apologized. “But it is her son.”

Nick angrily threw his hands in the air. “He’s not her son.” He spun around to glare at his wife. “He’s my son, Kate. You walked away.”

“How long are you going to make me pay for this, Nick?” Katelin cried, tears streaming down her face. “I know what I did was wrong! I know I should’ve never walked away! But, god damnit…these are my children! Please? How long are you going to keep me away from them?”

“Until I have something to tell them,” Nick growled. “Yes, you came back. But you haven’t given me one god-damn reason of why you left in the first place. And until I have something to explain to my children, then you need to stay the hell away from them.”

<< >>