“So, how’s everything going?” AJ asked, handing Nick a drink.
Nick looked at him, quizzically. “What do you mean?”
”Now that Brynn’s gone?” AJ smirked at the look on his friend’s face. “We’re not stupid, Nick. We know she left.”
Nick shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, in a way, I’m sad she’s gone. She helped me a lot. Helped me get through some of the toughest times in my life. I loved her in a way. Not like…you know…but in a way.”
”And how is ‘you know’?” AJ questioned, staring out at the sunset. “Have you guys talked about anything since that day at the hospital?”
Nick shood his head. “Not a word. I think she’s waiting for me to say something. And, honestly, I have no idea what I want to do. I mean, she still left. She had better reasons than I ever thought she would but still…. Instead of coming to me and letting me help her, she walked out on her family. I have a hard time getting past that.”
“Not that I think she did the right thing,” AJ defended, quickly. “But as far as I’m concerned, she clearly wasn’t in her right mind. She really thought, at the time, that getting the hell out of here was the best thing.”
Nick put his head in his hands, taking a deep breath. He had no idea what to do. It almost seemed easier to sign some divorce papers, work out a custody agreement, and get on with their lives. But, then again, was that easier? To just completely give up everything they had? Without even trying to get it back? That was where he wasn’t so sure.
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
“Daddy!” Kayleigh shrieked, running into the foyer to greet her father. She held her arms up so Nick could scoop her up.
He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek as he made his way towards the kitchen. “What smells so good? Is Grandma cooking dinner?”
”No.” Kayleigh grinned as he entered the kitchen. “Mommy is.”
Nick stopped in his tracks as he spotted Katelin standing at the stove. “Hey. Where’s my mom?”
Katelin looked up at him apologetically. “I’m sorry. I stopped by and Jane was here and she had to run and meet Les at the caterers. She asked me if I could stay. I’m sorry. She had to go and we couldn’t get a hold of you.”
He set Kayleigh down who ran off in search of her brothers. “It’s alright. My phone needs to be charged, I guess.”
She nodded and set the spoon she was holding on the counter before wiping her hands on the closest towel. “Okay. Well everything’s pretty much done. I guess I’ll get going.” She reached for her purse before walking towards the front door.
“Wait.” Nick’s voice stopped her in her tracks and she slowly turned around. “You went through all of this trouble and I know the kids would love it if you stayed for dinner.”
“Are you sure?” She asked. While she wanted nothing more than to spend time with her children and her husband, she didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.
Nick sent a reassuring smile in her direction. “Yeah, I’m sure. They’ll be thrilled.”
Katelin wanted to cry as she listened to her children rattle on and on about their day. How could she have missed this? Three years of it? She used to sit in her lonely apartment, eating something that no one would consider a real meal, watching old reruns of Friends at this time, wondering what Nick, Aaron, Brian, and Kayleigh were up to. What they had done that day. What the dinner-table discussion was about. Whether someone was sitting where she was supposed to. Whether any of them missed her at all.
Nick watched his wife out of the corner of his eye as she listened intently to Aaron’s story about another little boy in his class. He could’ve sworn there were tears in her eyes. At that moment, he wished he was sitting next to her instead of across from her. So he could reach out and squeeze her hand. Reassure her about something. Anything.
“Alright munchkins.” Nick began clearing dishes from the table. “Go get your baths and then I’ll put a movie on for you guys.”
”Can mommy stay and watch the movie?” Kayleigh asked, looking back and forth between her mother and her father.
Nick glanced over at Katelin who shrugged before turning back to his daughter. “We’ll talk about it, baby. I don’t know what your mother’s plans are. Go get your bath and we’ll see.”
The two parents watched as their children all ran from the kitchen and scampered up the stairs. “I should probably get going,” Katelin told Nick, as she helped clear the table.
Nick turned around. “Why? Big plans tonight?”
The tone of his voice shocked her. He almost sounded angry with her. “What’s wrong with you?”
Nick shrugged. “Your children are practically begging you to stay. But then again, you’ve already missed three years of their lives. What’s one more night?”
Katelin fought the urge to march right across the room and smack him. But then again, his remark was probably no less than what she deserved. “What the hell is your problem? The only reason I said that is because I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. But no, Nick, I don’t have any big plans tonight. And I would love nothing more than to tuck them into bed tonight. I just didn’t think you wanted me to stay.” With that, she set the dishes in the sink and walk upstairs to be with her children.
“Hey.” Nick’s voice startled her and she jumped, almost losing her balance and falling in the pool. He handed her a sweatshirt. “It’s kind of cool out. I thought you might need this.”
“Thanks.” She offered him a slight smile as she took the sweatshirt and pulled it over her head, before sitting down and dangling her bare feet in the pool. She inhaled a little bit, taking in the smell of the sweatshirt. It smelled exactly of him and she took comfort in the fact that she was wrapped in it. She could almost imagine that she was wrapped in his arms again. How she longed to feel the comfort of that.
When she didn’t say anything further, Nick took the opportunity to sit down next to her. “Pretty night,” he commented, trying to raise some sort of conversation with her. She only nodded, not taking her eyes off of the moonlit water. “Look, I’m sorry about before. I didn’t mean to sound so angry.”
“It’s okay,” she replied, softly. “I guess I deserved it.”
Nick kept his mouth shut. Yeah, maybe she did. But he still felt bad. “I never really thanked you for everything with Aaron, Kate. I don’t know what we would have done without you.”
“You don’t have to thank me,” she told him, finally turning to look at him. “He’s my son. I would do anything to help him. All of them.”
He nodded. It was true. But Aaron, Brian, and Kayleigh. They almost didn’t even seem like her children anymore. Physically, they all resembled her. They were all, unmistakingly, her children. Kayleigh couldn’t look more like her mother, as far as Nick was concerned. But they had adjusted to life without her. Out of all three of them, only Aaron really remembered what it was like to have her around. And Nick, himself, of course.
“I can’t believe how much those shrubs have grown,” she commented, pointing at the landscaping surrounding the pool area.
“Yeah,” Nick agreed. “We had just planted them before…”
“Before I left,” Katelin finished for him, looking straight into his eyes. “You can say it, Nick.”
He sighed, not really having any clue what to do now. “I don’t know where to go from here, Kate.”
“I thought you wanted a divorce,” she said, quietly. “You made that pretty clear one of the first nights I was here.”
“I have absolutely no idea what I want,” Nick admitted, staring up at the stars. “I know that my children need their mother in their lives. But…God…” He dropped his chin to his chest. He had no idea what to say. He loved her. That had never changed. That would never change. But did he want to risk his heart again? Would allowing her back into his life be the best thing for him?
“What?” Katelin asked, her chest constricting. She willed herself not to cry. If he told her he didn’t love her anymore, she knew that everything she had worked for in the past few years would just come crashing down.
Nick looked at her, staring into the blue depths of her eyes. “I’m scared. I love you but I’m so scared that I’m going give myself completely to you and then lose you again.”
A breath she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding escaped in relief. “Baby, you’re not going to lose me.” She reached over and grabbed his hand in hers. “God, Nick, I was so sick before. It took me so long to even realize it and I then I was able to hide it so well. But I’m so much better now. And I love you so much. I just want to be with you. And be with my kids. I just want to put our family back together."
He stared at her, wanting nothing more than to lean in and kiss her. And that’s what he did. “I love you so much, baby,” he mumbled, his lips millimeters from hers. “So much.”
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
Nick woke up that morning feeling more rested than he had in years. Three years to be exact. He sighed thinking back to the night before. It had been perfect. They had reconnected. Nothing physical. But completely emotional. Something, two months ago, he never even imagined would’ve happened. Two months ago, he hadn’t see nor heard from his wife in three years. And now, she was back. In his life. In his home. In his heart.
He lazily pulled himself out of bed, smiling as he heard the excited voices of his children coming from downstairs. Slowly, he made his way down the stairs and into the family room. He saw Aaron and kayleigh laying on the couch and Brian sprawled out on the floor, all focused intently on the television. However, his wife was nowhere in sight.
Suddenly, Nick felt as though he couldn’t breathe. She wouldn’t do this to them. Not again. The feelings of that fateful day came rushing back and he felt sick to his stomach. He was about to reach for the phone to call her when he heard the front door open.
“Hey!” Katelin greeted, her arms full of grocery bags. She walked over and pecked Nick on the cheek. “What’s the matter?”
Nick let out a breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding. “Nothing. It’s just…when I woke up and couldn’t find you…” He trailed off, not wanting to show just how scared he really had been.
Katelin’s face immediately fell. “I’m so sorry, Nick.” She allowed him to take the grocery bags out of her arms and followed him into the kitchen. “I only went to get some stuff for breakfast. I should’ve left a note.”
He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have been so paranoid. I can’t do that every time you walk out of a room. It’s just that…” he trailed off, taking a deep breath, trying to slow his racing heart. This was crazy. He couldn’t live like this. Living in fear of the next time she might walk out again.
“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea,” Katelin began. “I mean, things are so different now.” She hastily wiped at her eyes, not allowing any threatening tears to fall. “Maybe we are just better off apart.”
Nick’s mouth remained closed and his feet rooted to his spot as he watched her gather her purse and her keys. He stillr emained silent as he heard her tearfully hug her children goodbye. And still didn’t move as he heard the front door slam shut.
“Daddy?” Aaron’s voice shook him out of his trance and he glanced down at his son’s face. “Is mommy going away again?”
Nick’s heart almost stopped at the heart-broken tone in his son’s voice. “What? Aaron…no.” And suddenly, his feet couldn’t’ move fast enough. He quickly made his way through the house and out the front door. “Kate!” he called, waving his hands. She had just slammed the car door and started the engine. “Katelin wait!”
Katelin glanced up and saw Nick frantically waving at her to stop. She tentatively opened the window to see what he had to say. Instead, he threw the door open and fell to the ground beside her. “I don’t want you to go,” he stated, grabbing her hands in his. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have freaked out in there and I shouldn’t’ have let you walk out of the house like that.”
He took a deep breath, waiting for her to say something. But her lips didn’t move. “I love you, Kate. So much. I want nothing more than for us to be a fanmily. Please don’t walk out of here again.”
Katelin had tears freely falling down her face. But, this time, they were tears of joy. She finally felt like she was getting her life back on track. Nick…her family…they were all she ever wanted. And, finally, she was home again.