AJ sat at his kitchen table, staring at the picture in his hand. It was of he and Krista on Thanksgiving, three years ago. She was about six months pregnant. He closed his eyes and tried to remember how happy they were together. Maybe Sarah was right. Maybe he should find Krista. To talk to her. To see if there was still anything left. There was never any closure. She just up and left one day. Barely an explanation at all. Losing the baby was something that totally came between them. AJ, thinking he was doing it for Krista’s benefit, completely acted like everything was okay. Krista was just the opposite. Completely and utterly depressed at the loss of the child. AJ was completely at a loss at how to deal with the situation. It seemed that there was nothing he could do to make her feel better. And it finally reached the point to where Krista needed to leave. To leave their house. Their friends. And, most importantly, to leave him.
He tiredly rubbed his eyes and put the photograph back where it belonged. In a small locked box that contained some reminders of his relationship with Krista. Movie ticket stubs. Pictures from the tour in Europe. The first ultrasound of the baby. The engagement ring that no one knew he had ever purchased. He was going to propose on Krista’s birthday, right before Christmas. But then with the loss of the baby, he never got the chance. He lost his baby and the love of his life.
“J? You in here?” AJ heard Howie’s voice filter through his house. He closed his desk drawer and walked out of the office. “Right here, D.”
“Whoa…” Howie commented on the distraught look on AJ’s face. “Who died?”
AJ sighed. “No one, Howie. I was just thinking about some things.”
“Want to talk about it?” Howie offered. AJ was his best friend. The least he could do was offer some friendly advice.
“I don’t know.” AJ grabbed a beer from his fridge and threw one at Howie. “Sarah told me something the other day.”
“What was it?” Howie questioned, sitting down at AJ’s kitchen table.
“She told me to find Krista,” AJ explained. “Said that I needed some sort of closure. One way or another.”
“Wow,” Howie breathed. “Good for her.”
“What?!” AJ exclaimed. “Good for her? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Do you know how hard that was for her?” Howie pointed out. “It would have been easy for her to pretend that Krista didn’t even exist. She knows something’s there, J. She’s doing this as much for her as she is for you.”
“So what should I do?” AJ asked, tiredly. “Do I go see her? Or do I go on pretending that I really don’t care?”
“You just answered your own question,” Howie laughed. “If you even have to pretend that you don’t care, then you need to go see her.”
The room was silent for a minute while AJ contemplated Howie’s advice. “I can’t believe I’m going to do this. I mean, what am I going to find when I find her? Married? Kids? I mean, what? If she has any of that, I don’t think I could handle it, Howie.”
“That’s something that you’re going to have to deal with, Age,” Howie remarked. “Put yourself in Sarah’s shoes. She’s scared of basically the same thing.”
“I love Sarah, Howie,” AJ stated. “I’m not pretending there.”
“I know you do, AJ.” Howie smiled. “So does she. But you can’t commit your life to one woman when you’re still in love with another.”
“Did you ever think of becoming a shrink, Howie?” AJ questioned, smiling.
“Yeah yeah yeah.” Howie rolled his eyes. Sweet D. That’s who he was. “Can give out the advice but obviously can’t follow it for myself.”
“Ooh..” AJ squealed. “This could be fun. How is Christine?”
“Who said this was about her?” Howie finished his beer and stood up to get another one.
“Get me one,” AJ ordered. “And who else would it be about? I haven’t seen you with anyone worthwhile, not counting Alyssa, since Christine’s been back in town.”
“Alyssa and I are just friends,” Howie pointed out. “Nothing more.”
“I know.” AJ rolled his eyes. “Everyone knows. So, since this is obviously about Christine, what’s going on?”
“Nothing’s going on, AJ,” Howie replied. “We’ve just been hanging out a little bit. I saw her at a bar the other night and we ended up going to dinner. That’s it.”
“So what’s the problem?” AJ questioned, grabbing a pack of cigarettes and pulling one out, lighting it up.
“There’s no problem with me,” Howie answered, sighing. “Something’s wrong with her, though. She’s, I don’t know, jumpy or something. Every time I get too close to her or something. I went to give her a hug and she visibly tensed up. I don’t know.”
“Hmmm.” AJ slowly inhaled and exhaled the cigarette, accidentally blowing smoke right at Howie. “I don’t know. Sounds kind of fishy to me. Who’s this guy she’s supposedly engaged to? And if she’s engaged, where the hell is he?”
“He is Paul.” Howie waited until AJ’s face registered recognition. “Yeah. And they’re not engaged anymore. But she wouldn’t tell me what happened. Just that it didn’t work out.”
“Think he has something to do with her weird behavior?” AJ asked.
“You think?” Howie muttered sarcastically. “Sorry,” he apologized, seeing the look pass over AJ’s face. “It’s just that I know something happened there and I want her to open up to me. I want to at least be her friend.”
“She will,” AJ said, putting his cigarette in the ashtray sitting on the table. “I’m sure she’ll open up eventually. Just give her some time.”