“Guys, I think I can handle it from here,” Nick told his friends and family back at the house. It was the next day and Kayleigh had just been released from the hospital. The guys, Nick’s family, Kayleigh’s mom and stepfather, and Brooke and Brad had gathered at the house for a sort of Welcome Home Party. Kayleigh hadn’t lasted very long, the light-headedness making it almost impossible to sit up and hold a conversation. She was now resting comfortably upstairs in bed. Nick wanted to be with her but everyone being there made that difficult. He felt like he needed to entertain everyone, although Elizabeth was quite capable of doing that by herself.
“I think that means he’s kicking us out,” AJ joked to Amanda.
“I’m not,” Nick defended. “It’s just that…I want…” What he was trying to say was that he wanted to spend some time with his family. Just the three of them. But he was on the verge of breaking down again and wasn’t able to get it out.
“It’s okay, Nick.” Brian put his arm around Nick’s shoulders. “We understand. Is there anything else you need?”
“Yeah.” Nick glanced over to where Elizabeth was reading a story with Brooke and Leslie. “Tell me how I explain to my daughter that her mother is dying.”
“I don’t know, Nick,” Brian said, sadly. “I have no idea to make her understand.”
“Do you want us to take her for the night, honey?” Jane asked, walking over to Nick.
He shook his head. “No. I don’t think Kayleigh would want that. I’m sure she wants to spend as much time as possible with her.”
“Okay.” Jane followed the rest of her family out the door. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, honey. Bye Elizabeth!”
“Bye Grandma!” Elizabeth called. Nick glanced around his now-empty house, except fo rhis daughter witting on the couch watching television.
“Elizabeth.” He walked over and sat down on the couch, pulling his daughter into his lap. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.” Elizabeth nodded and waited for him to continue. “Lizzie, do you know what heaven is?”
“Yeah,” she answered. “It’s where the angels are. Where grandpa is.”
“Right.” Nick smiled, thinking of Kayleigh deceased father. “It’s where the angels are. And sometimes, they need people to come up to heaven and be angels with them.” Nick was trying desperately to keep his tears at bay while he attempted to make his daughter understand that soon she wasn’t going to have her mother around. “They need mommy to come up and be an angel with them. Mommy doesn’t feel well and the angels are going to make her feel better.”
“Then can she come back home?” Elizabeth questioned, innocently.
“No, sweetie.” Nick shook his head. “They’ll need her to stay up there and be an angel forever.”
“Then when will I see her?” she asked, tearfully.
“You can’t until you become an angel,” Nick answered, his tears spilling over. “But mommy will always be watching over you.”
“Can I go see her now?” Elizabeth asked, already halfway to the stairs. Nick nodded and followed her upstairs.
“Mommy?” Elizabeth walked into her parents room and climbed up on to the bed, causing Kayleigh to roll over.
“Hi honey,” Kayleigh said.
“Daddy said that you’re going to be an angel,” Elizabeth told her.
“He’s right.” Kayleigh met Nick’s stare from the doorway. “I am going to be an angel.”
“But I don’t want you to be,” Elizabeth cried. “I want you to stay here with me.”
“I’ll always be with you,” Kayleigh whispered, pointing to Elizabeth’s chest. “I’ll always be right here. In your heart. And in Daddy’s heart. Okay?”
“Okay,” she whimpered.
“Come on, kiddo,” Nick said, walking over to the bed. “Time to go to bed. Give mommy a hug.”
Elizabeth reached over and hugged her mother. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnighty, baby.”
“I love you mommy.”
“I love you too, Elizabeth.”
One Week Later:
“Is she asleep?” Kayleigh asked as Nick stepped back into the room. Nick nodded as he slipped into bed next to her. He carefully wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him. Over the last few days, Kayleigh’s health had begun to take a turn for the worst. She could barely keep anything down and the lack of nourishment was apparent in her coloring. She was pale. And she lost a lot of weight. They both knew it wouldn’t be much longer. Nick was scared to death but Kayleigh had made peace with it. There was nothing else she could do but learn not to be scared.
Nick woke up at about five in the morning to Kayleigh violently shivering next to him. She was still sleeping so he shook her gently to wake her up.
“Nicky?” she whispered, opening her eyes.
“I’m here, baby,” he replied, tightening his hold on her.
“I want to go down to the beach,” she told him.
“Right now?” Nick asked, tears welling in his eyes. He knew that this was it.
“Yeah,” she replied. Nick slid out of bed and threw some sweat pants and a sweatshirt on. He wrapped a blanket around Kayleigh and gathered her frail body into his arms, carrying her downstairs and out to the beach. When they got there, Nick sat down in the sand and held Kayleigh in his arms. She glanced up at him.
“Don’t cry, Nicky.” Kayleigh wiped his tears away.
“I don’t want to lose you,” he whispered.
“You’ll never lose me,” Kayleigh told him. “I’ll always be with you. Forever.”
“How will I know you’re there?” Nick questioned, tearfully.
“You’ll just know.” Kayleigh was tired and struggling to keep her eyes open. She knew that once she let them close, they would never re-open. “You’ll always know.” They sat contently on the beach and watched the sun rise as Kayleigh’s breathing became more and more labored. Just as the sun rose over the horizon, Kayleigh’s eyes fluttered shut and the gentle rise and fall of her chest ceased its movements. Nick cradled her lifeless body close to his chest and rocked back and forth, images of their life together flashing before his eyes.
“I love you, Kayles.” And on that early morning on the beach, Nick could’ve sworn he heard her whispered reply as the wind picked up.
“I love you, Nick.”