He stood on his deck and stared out at the ocean. He couldn’t bring himself to go down into the sand yet, remembering the last time he had been down there. That was ‘their’ place. He thought about the events of the last six months. Six months ago, he never would’ve imagined that he’d be standing here like this. He didn’t know where he would’ve been but, not in a million years, did he imagine that his life would’ve turned out like this. There were some things that he would never change. There were others that he’d give his own life for. He didn’t want to think about it anymore. It hurt too much.
He heard the front door open but he still didn’t move. The sliding glass door to the deck was partially open so whoever it was could find him outside. He heard his friend's voice calling for him but he couldn’t bring himself to answer. He wasn’t ready to go yet. He couldn’t. He heard the door slide open and the sound of footsteps approaching. He felt Brian’s hand on his shoulder. “Frack?” Nick slowly turned around and looked into his best friend’s eyes.
Brian drew him into a tight hug. "It’ll be alright, man.” He pulled away. “You ready?” Nick nodded. “The limo is out front.”
Brian turned around and Nick numbly followed him out the door. On his way, he passed a picture in the hallway. He stopped and picked it up. Staring at it, he remembered the day three and a half years ago when it had been taken. When he finally admitted to himself what he had been feeling. He was going to admit it to her, but he never got the chance. In a split second, his entire life had changed and he lost three priceless years.
Brian calling his name from the front steps took him out of his trance. He followed him to the driveway and into the limo. Leaning his head back against the seat, he closed his eyes and wondered what would have happened if he had never admitted those feelings.