Brian, Leighanne, AJ, Howie, Krystal, and Kevin all walked up to the NICU wearing Santa hats, followed closely by the Carter family and my parents. My mom had been here since the day after Aaron was born. Brian came over and gave me a kiss on the cheek:
“Merry Christmas, Katie. Are you ready to take your son home?” I smiled:
“I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life.”
“When are they bringing my grandson in?” Bob asked. I glanced at my watch:
“We still have a few minutes.”
It was December 23rd and Aaron was finally able to go home. I had been discharged a week after Aaron was born but I had spent every waking hour at the hospital to be close to him. But the doctors decided that he was healthy enough for me to take home. Actually, home was going to be the Carter’s house for a few weeks. Jane had insisted that we stay there so there would always be someone around for Aaron. He had made a remarkable recovery and the doctors decided that he was strong enough to be released from the hospital.
About five minutes later, a nurse brought Aaron in. I stood up and took him out of her arms:
“Hey there, Aaron! How’s mommy’s little man?” Everyone crowded around and fussed over Aaron. The nurse came back with a wheel chair:
“Come on Mom, you’ve got to sit in here, okay?” I rolled my eyes:
“Whatever. I don’t care. As long as I never see the inside of this hospital again.” Everyone laughed. My mom took Aaron from me as I sat down in the chair and then she placed him back in my arms. I kissed his forehead:
“Come on Aaron! Let’s go home!” AJ pushed the wheelchair down the hall while the rest of the crew followed.
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
Later that afternoon, we were all sitting around the Carter’s living room. All of the guys were fussing over Aaron. AJ sat next to me, holding my son:
“Look Kate. He can be the sixth Backstreet Boy.” I giggled but then I heard BJ mumble:
“Why six? I only see four of you.” Leslie elbowed her:
“Shut up BJ!” BJ glared at her:
“What?! He should be here. You guys all act like nothing’s wrong. Does anyone else see it? He should be here. But no, he’s off, god knows where, drunk off his ass.” I lowered my head and whispered:
“Please BJ. Stop. It’s not his fault. It’s mine. I never told him.” BJ sighed:
“Kate, it’s not your fault. Stop saying that it is! It’s his fault. If he could have learned to deal with things normally, than none of this would’ve ever happened. You guys would be sitting here, all three of you, as one big happy family.” I couldn’t take anymore so I stood up and took Aaron away from AJ:
“I’m going to put Aaron down for his nap.” With that, I walked out of the room. Once I was upstairs, Jane turned to BJ:
“BJ, that was not necessary. She’s had enough on her mind already. She doesn’t want to hear you rip Nick apart for something he has no control over.” BJ stood up angrily and looked around at everyone:
“Would you all stop defending him? He doesn’t deserve it. I can’t believe you guys.” She turned on her heel and stomped up the stairs. I heard her slam her door just as I was walking out of my room, Nick’s old room. I walked over to it and knocked on it:
“Beej? Can I come in?” I heard her walk over and unlock her door. She opened it up and I saw that her face was tearstained:
“Aw, Beej. I’m so sorry.” I pulled her into a hug. She cried into my shoulder:
“I didn’t mean to upset you, Kate. It’s just that I miss him so much. He’s my big brother. My only brother now. How could he leave us like that? After everything that happened?” I rubbed her back:
“I don’t know, honey. I wish he was here too. I wish that Aaron could know his father.”
We both sat there and cried for awhile and then I heard Aaron start crying. I walked in there and picked him up out of his crib:
“Shh. Mommy’s here.” I walked him out in the hallway and looked at all of the pictures of the Carter’s. I pointed to one of Aaron and Angel:
“Do you know who that is? That’s your Uncle Aaron. I wish you could’ve known him. You would’ve had so much fun with him.” I walked further down the hall and came to a picture of Nick:
“You see him, Aaron? That’s my Nick. That’s your Daddy, sweetheart. I think that you look like him. He would have loved you so much, sweetheart. Sometimes, I wish that I had done things differently, honey. Then, maybe right now, he could be here with us and we could be a family.” I heard footsteps on the stairs behind me. I turned around and saw Brian:
“Hey B.” I wiped my tears away as Brian took Aaron from me:
“Hey there little man! What are you guys doing?” I smiled:
“I was just showing him pictures of his daddy and Uncle Aaron.” Brian turned around and walked down the stairs:
“Come on Kate. I think everyone’s mad that we’re hogging him all to ourselves.” I giggled and followed Brian down the stairs. I stopped him at the bottom of the stairs:
“Thank you so much, B. I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through all of this if it wasn’t for you. You’re going to make a great father one day. Leighanne is very lucky.”