Part 11
"What the hell are you doing? Killing Britney without me?" Madonna shrieked. Everyone looked at her in confusion. "I may have been pop," she continued, "But I am good! I have lasted 20 years and now this Britney s**t is knocking me off the chart. Plus I lost most of my pop appeal in the 90's with my 'Sex' book." Back to silverchair stuff
So, Madonna joined the group, armed with a cannonball-firing torpedo bra and the gap between her teeth. The bathroom pioneers got up and went outside. Their mission was clear. Britney Spears would be appearing on Star Search that night. They had to make sure it would never happen.
"Um, hey guys..." KelNino said, stopping everyone, "We need to hunt down someone else. We already killed Britney Spears twice, remember? How could you forget, with her boobs and hair extensions melting?"
"Oh yeah!" Robin remembered, "and I was all upset because I forgot my camera!"
KelNino corrected him. "No, hun, that was Steve."
"Who's Steve?" Daniel queried. "Is he hot?"
"Er, I don't understand...Steve was killed?" Robin was very confused.
"No! Steve was upset because he forgot his camera!" KelNino replied irritably.
"Well, why did he do that?"
"I don't know! He wanted pictures of Britney! He just forgot it!"
"Why'd he want pictures of her? She was such a slut..."
"Argh! No dammit! He wanted pictures of her melting!"
"Of who melting? Man, I could go for some Frosties right now, maybe a banana too."
"They're not called Frosties!"
As KelNino and Robin launched into another argument, the group went to pick up some breakfast at the Taco Time down the street. As they sat down at a booth waiting for their meals, Junta noticed some familiar melodic voices talking in a seat nearby.
"Damn! It's them!" The bathroom pioneers jumped up into action, unsure of what the hell was going on.
"It's Boyz II Men!" Junta informed them. Ada ran to the Taco Time double doors and latched them. Nobody was leaving or coming in until those four harmonious pimps were stone-cold dead. John and Ada, with new zest, were the first to draw an assault against the soul group. John grabbed the dude with glasses. Ada grabbed Junta and the three of them fought off the evils of Boyz II Men. Junta was happy to be kicking butt again. She showed this by ripping a Taco Time table from its bolts and smashing it over the head of one of the "men." He stepped back and squished one of James' puppies.
"Hey! You ass, that's my puppy!" James exclaimed, as he was chained to one of the tables at which our heroes had been sitting with the rest of his puppies.
The group of chosen and unchosen were kicking ass with the help of Madonna, when one of the "men" started shooting lasers out of his eyes, and nicked Junta.
"Holy s&%$! You guys, they have powers! How did they get powers?!" screamed Junta, when all of the sudden there was an enormous impact throughout the room, without a sound. Our heroes flew back, and the Boyz II Men retreated into the street.
"Crap! They got away!" cried dreamer.
Just then rockstar noticed James in his corner. Foam was coming out of his mouth like a river and when it touched his pups, they turned into a steaming pile of mush. As he writhed on the floor, rockstar rushed up and pulled off the earphones.
"Noooo! He'll kill us all!" cried Kelnino.
"He'll take my bananas!" cried Robin.
"Are you gonna finish that taco, Ben?" said Daniel.
Then James leapt from the froth of foam and shied away from it. "I saw it all!" he cried. "Their plans, what they've done, what they're going to do...it's horrible, they had me in their spell!"
"Slow down, James!" said rockstar. "Who did this to you, and what do they plan to do."
"Well, first you should know that I didn't commit suicide. In fact, when I came back from trying to leave, it wasn't me at all. The Pop alliance had thought to use me, to get close to you guys. I was encaged in a large building, and only escaped a little while ago, but the virus was still with me, that's why I went a little psycho when I found you, but after seeing you guys kick some pop ass, I feel revived. The virus itself makes you delirious, and makes you have offspring that will one day be a pop "musician." That's what the puppies were. Anyway, while I was in the builing, they fed me horror stories of what they were going to do to this planet and all its inhabitants in the future. In 1992, after the eighties had FINALLY died, they formed a union, and decided that they would form a way to make pop control the world. They had the Earth's course set out for their plans, but then they noticed that there would be those of us who would challenge their relentless hold. Us, being you guys and myself, The Chosen and unchosen. And so they built their alternate world set in the future, to see what these people would do. That's why when you woke form your cells, you saw all those classic rockers. They had eliminated their rebellion by capturing them and placing them in those cells, so they could see the correct path they'd have to take for pop to succeed. That's why, that now that you have been released from your prison you must help to destroy what they have planned, for only you know what pop has in store for the world."
"I see," said rockstar. "So they knew we would rebel against their domination, and so entrapped us in those cells? And they put us in the future so that they'd see what course they have to take to win?"
"Exactly!" Just then James noticed Madonna. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! The devil queen! She's the one who started the alliance, thats why she's the longest running pop star! Kill her!!!"
Ada shrugged and blew Madonna to smithereens.
"So what now, James?" said Kelnino.
"Now we must destroy the alliance for real! We must find their headquarters and kill them all. But now that you know your course, I really must be going. I'll meet up again with you guys later, I gotta go check out Huey Lewis and the News in concert. They were a funny band..."
"Bye!" they all said as they decided what to do next.
"Wait, wait, wait, wait," Daniel said. "How are we supposed to find the pop star headquarters?"
dreamer had an idea. "Daniel, why don't you check your backpack?"
"What for?"
"Just open it, okay? I've got a hunch you'll find something we can use."
Daniel unzipped his backpack, dug through notebooks, sloppily scribbled poems, books, bananas (lol), and who knows what until he found something he hadn't expected to find - Sweep! She'd stowed away in his backpack, not wanting Daniel to go off on some adventure without her.
"Sweep!" he squealed in delight, hugging his little dog, who barked happily. "Awww, Sweepy, I missed you soooo much..."
"That's it!" KelNino exclaimed. "Sweep can help us!"
dreamer took the shoulder strap off her handbag and clipped one end to Sweep's collar. She clipped the other end to Daniel's wrist. Ada picked up a shred of clothing that had snagged on the broken door when the Boyz made their escape. "Go find them, Sweep!" Sweep sniffed it and took off.
"Slow down, girl!" Daniel yelled as she dragged them through the streets of Seattle. Sweep was very excited to be out of Daniel's backpack. She had been in there a long time and she really needed to relieve herself.
Ben let out a groan of disgust. "Daniel...what have you been feeding her?!"
Just then Robin chimed in, "I think she's been eating my bananas. I noticed that they were disappearing, and I thought it was Daniel, but, I guess I was wrong..."
John and Ada were dancing in the street while all of this was going on, when suddenly they caught sight of "someone" in a steamroller. "Uh oh, this doesn't look good." said Ada. But just then they realized who the driver was. It was a pint-sized Justin Timberlake - this couldn't be good - match the wits of an Afro and a double pack of Bubble Yum and you get this...
"Oh, s**t!" yelled rockstar. Daniel grabbed Sweep and ducked into a nearby trash can, falling onto something that could help them - it was more bananas!
"I know what we can do this these!" Robin exclaimed wildly. And with that he started gobbling up the bananas.
"How is this going to help us?" asked KoMBuCHa DRaVeN CRoW.
"I don't know, but they sure are yummy!" replied Robin. "I wish I had some Frosties and tea to go along with them!"
"Well, you're in America now, dear, so all we have is Frosted Flakes and Coke, so drink up!" said rockstar, throwing him a bottle of ice-cold Coke.
"I want one too," fireangel said, and rockstar threw her one also. She downed it in one huge gulp and let out a HUGE belch. It was so powerful it knocked Justin Timberlake right off of his steamroller. Daniel stepped over his spazzing-out body on the ground and jumped up into the steamroller.
"Cool! We have awesome wheels now, mates!" He turned the steamroller on and accidentally ran over Justin. "Eww, that's not a pretty sight," he said.