Part 17
"I heard what you said, Ms. Feo. Regarding your dreams..." Kelnino looked up into his eyes. "I've had them too. You were in them like I was in yours." Back to silverchair stuff
KelNino replied, "Wow, and I thought only Ada and I had dirty dreams about John's belly button, oh wait, that's another story..." Ada gave KelNino a look, but John kissed her cheek so that Ada wouldn't have to resort to violence. KelNino went on. "Yeah, I suppose us having dreams during two totally different centuries could mean something - "
Just then, some blonde chick burst in the door. Redwing's eyes widened in fear.
"Run for you lives!" Redwing and the other Neo-Bathroom Pioneers ducked behind the nearest pieces of furniture.
"Err, what's wrong with you guys?" Robin said, staring at the strangely familiar girl standing in the doorway. She was wearing purple hair extensions and a red catsuit, much like the "Oops..." Britney video.
"Who's she?" Ben asked, not even trying to hide the huge grin on his face. The girl stood motionless.
Ryban popped his head over the couch and said, "That's Queen Bianca, the leader of the pop forces. Also one of Britney's descendants." He hid back behind the sofa.
"Well, why are you hiding like sissies?" Shayla announced, turning to Queen Bianca. "So, what do you want? And how'd you get here?"
Queen Bianca spoke in a sweet, innocent little voice. "I tracked your transport signal and pinpointed you here...I-I want to help you..."
"Sounds like a bunch of bulls**t to me..." Shayla mumbled.
"Why?" dreamer stepped forward.
"I know Pop is evil. I know this full well, for I live in its house. I- I want to bring freedom to the people again. Like it must have been before Britney..." Queen Bianca pulled off the blonde wig and extensions to reveal jet black, raven's-wing hair. It tumbled down her back. She poked her eyes a little and pulled out the sky blue contacts, showing her plain hazel eyes beneath. "I was once school friends with Raine before she rebelled...I want to join you. Please, I can help so much...I know the castle layout and all the officers' quarters."
Redwing hesistantly stepped out from behind the coffee table. "Then why do you come so late? You have ruled for several years now."
"I wanted to find you. I've looked for the opportunity to leave, but it just took so long to come..."
The Neo- and original Bathroom Pioneers huddled and agreed that Bianca could be useful and her explanation acceptable, so they welcomed her into the clan by forcing her to eat a banana covered in Sweep's shedded hair. Strangely, Bianca fit well into the group with her odd sense of humor and wacky taste in other areas of life (unlike most teenies, she did sometimes wear a poly-cotton blend!). As the groups re-acquainted themselves, Bianca agreed that they should sneak into the Pop Palace late that night. Soon, the moon rose and the chosen, unchosen and just plain crazy snuck out of the underground pad and slid through the darkness.
As they approached the brightly lit, pink-roofed palace, Bianca pointed out that there were pink hippos guarding the entrance. Now this greatly turned both Robin and Daniel on, so they stepped back a bit and did their best impressions of hippo mating calls (do hippos have mating calls?). The hippos must not have been trained very well, so they followed the sound. Daniel and Robin slowly moved away from the door, giving everyone else a chance to sneak in. Somehow, they managed to lure the hippos far away enough to ditch them and make a run for the door - first things first.
Once inside, the pioneers (and Queen Bianca) found some rubber and started chewing on it as another group of the pioneers and drummer came marching in with their pants down at their ankles with the flugelhorns! As they marched in circles for no apparent reason, the rest of the NBP gathered in a circle between the idiots that were marching around in the larger circle.
They got to talking about their hair, as they had been unable to take showers for a few days and everyone's hair was greasy. Daniel, of course, was used to it.
"You know, I've got some shampoo in my backpack if anyone wants to clean up later," dreamer mentioned.
"At least we have hair! Don't you remember when we just had peach fuzz in the warehouse?" KelNino shouted over the group. "Hey, we've got a mission, you know, and we're not going to complete it with our pants down and playing those STUPID horns!" Ada's shoulders sank and everyone pulled up their trousers.
"Psst, hey!" Bianca whispered. "I know where the control room for the officers is. We can shut them down there!"
"Those officers in pink camo were robots?" Daniel was very disapointed. "And I was so disappointed that KelNino dusted them before I could do the hibbidy-dibbidity with one of those sexy fellows. They really did have nice-"
"That's enough, Daniel!" Junta nudged him. "If we all puke, it will reveal out location, you know."
Daniel shrugged. "Just haven't done the loopty-twirl in a good two days. Beginning to get desperate and all. Wish I had some-"
"Daniel! Shut up!" Shayla snapped. Daniel smirked and stayed quiet.
"This way..." Bianca motioned to a tapestry. She pulled it back (it was actually a Justin Timberlake beach towel) to reveal a secret door. The now very large group crouded into the control room, wich was loaded with knobs and levers. Daniel immediately began pushing little red and green ones.
"Ooooh, this one is pretty!" He pressed a star-shaped pink one and that "Hit Me Baby" song began to play. "Ack!" He jammed the button again. There was a fizzing sound and a spark from the little button, but at least the music stopped.
Bianca sat down and pulled a lever and a knob. KelNino glanced up at several surveillance screens and saw the guards at some of the gates flop to the ground.
"Hey, can't they just restart the guards by coming in here and fixing that?" dreamer asked.
"Not if we total the control room!" Shayla smiled wickedly. "So, uh, who wants the pleasure?"
Robin jumped up waving his hand. So, to please the scrawny nitwit, they let him bang his fist around on the switchboards to result in little damage but some bruises on his knuckles. He gave up and stuck his fist in his mouth in pain. Ada opted to go next, and with the help of KelNino and the Neo-Bathroom Pioneers' firepower, they destroyed every functioning electronic device in the room.
"Ms. Bianca, are these controls just for the palace officers?" Redwing asked politely.
Bianca smiled. "No, the fools who designed it located all the control switches for the Pop force officers in this room. We just caused permanent malfunction of every electronic officer in the whole kingdom. And you know what else?" The group shook their heads so Bianca continued. "Because the Pop force euthanizes so many non-pop humans every year, the human population is very low. Nearly 87% of Earth's population is robotic or electronic!"
"Wickedeebo!" Robin shouted.
"We just destroyed 87% of our enemy?!" fireangel piped up.
"Yes! And with no Queen or robotic forces, there is no hope left for the Pop dynasty! The war is almost over!" Bianca grinned widely. "But it couldn't have been done without you all!"
dreamer hugged Saurus closely, it was almost over. Humankind was secured and hope restored. It was only a matter of time before the last human pop officials would be destroyed...
"Wait - " dreamer stopped everyone. "What are we going to do now? What are the Bathroom Pioneers going to do?"
"Well, the pop war is still continuing in your time, dreamer..." Redwing acknowledged.
"Yes, but we saved it here in this time. We need something else to do..."
"I know!" KelNino chimed. "We'll battle all the squares!"
"Squares? What in my arse's name is a square?" Robin queried.
"A square? They're all the stiff, rigid rule-followers that try to block us!"
"Like police ticketers?"
"Right!"
"And anti-jaywalkers?"
"Exactly!"
"And mean lunch ladies that never give you the right change?"
"Err, sure..."
Robin suddenly burst forth with his idea of a square. "And what about those people who think rock is so bad?"
"Yeah!" everyone said.
"Hey, I just thought of something," Ada announced. "Now that the Pop force is totally over, why don't we reintroduce rock to the masses?"
"And all those who have suffered under the rule of squares can be freed as well!" Redwing said, very excited.
"You mean you won't return to 2000? You'll stay here?" Saurus said anxiously to dreamer.
"Well, as long as the gods of rock allow us to..."
"Gods of rock?"
"Yeah, Timmy and the Lords of the Underworld," dreamer explained.
KelNino saw the opportunity and shouted "TIMMY! Tih-may..."
Suddenly, there was a large snapping noise and a fizz, then the lights flickered out.
"Oh, the electricity went out - ah, that's okay. Now we'll have the castle to ourselves," Bianca said as KelNino lit a match. "Pop hates the darkness, they'll get out of this place to get to light in 10 seconds flat. Personally, I don't mind it."
"So, since we have the castle to ourself, why don't we find someplace to sit back and relax?" Shayla asked.
They filed out from behind the tapestry and Bianca led them to a large, plushy room.
"Er..." Shayla started. "This place is kind of...er, a disgusting shade of pink. I think it's gonna make me puke..."
"I know, hold on," Bianca assured her. "Here - in here. I made this place myself to escape from the pastels and faux leather." She pushed aside a framed picture of Five to reveal yet another room. The group crowded into this and all were relieved that the lounge was much more stylized. The furniture was a deep, royal blue and the carpet a charcoal grey. Black stools stood at the bar, which was dark black marble. Although the room was slightly bare, it gave off vibes of a simple, gothic hangout. Everyone settled down as Jimmy went over to mix up a few bongos. However, they noticed that Saurus and dreamer were missing.
"Hey, where'd they go?" Robin wondered as he sipped at his own alcoholic concoction.