Part 2

Meanwhile, dreamer was cracking up. "Hahaha!" she laughed, "I say we get Robin to put on these leather pants and that would complete the picture! Hahaha. Ooooooh, KelNino is gonna be sooooo mad, hahaha." But KelNino was too busy picking pieces of Natalie out of her hair. Besides, she'd already known that her hubby, Robin, might have been bisexual and she didn't mind at all. Daniel finally had to come up for air and Robin managed to scramble away.

"Bloody hell, man!" he shrieked, wiping Daniel's spit from his chin, "What the - what the hell are you doing?!" Ada, her eyes flickering like flames, turned to Robin.

"Don't mess with Jesus!" she said in a deep, throaty voice, "Don't mess with Jesus! Don't mess with Daniel!" KelNino took a deep breath, she hated such threatening religious statements.

"Okay, bub, chosen one, whatever. Look I don't need your hand of God, ok?" Ada turned slowly to KelNino. "I won't kill you." she said "I won't kill you because you are the ancient chosen one's soul that is meant for Jesus...."

"What the hell!" screamed KelNino.

"Bbut Robin, Robin is ignorant and must die." Robin was shocked by this so he felt he must do the unavoidable...he must reveal his secret identity, because he kinda loved, well, somewhat liked KelNino and could not leave her to the posessed Ada.

Robin leapt in front of his wife and...took out a copy of the Britney Spears album. This caused Ada to cry in rage and hide in the corner. "GET IT AWAY!!! GET IT AWAY!!!!" Then, Daniel, realizing what had happened, kicked the evil cd out of Robin's hand, and rushed to recover the chosen one.

"Man, how could you do that! It's cruel and inhuman! Besides...you're supposed to be in that rock band...what are they called? Chosen Retards or something? So what are you doing brandishing such crap?!"

Robin stared into his hairstylesake's eyes deeply for a moment, before nonchalantly replying, "At least the rejects never covered a Mambo #5 song, Daniel you wanker."

Kelly, in the meantime, rolled her eyes yet again at her husband's remarks before picking up Daniel's alligator skin pants again. "What the..." she exclaimed. "Daniel, why is there a large banana stuffed down the crotch of these pants?"

Daniel turned bright red and as his Max Factor makeup began to run with sweat he defensively announced, "Well, those aren't my pants! They're, um, Ben's! He must have put the banana in them! I swear! I-I-d-didn't know that was in there!"

"No, I think the alligator was born with the banana," announced Junta randomly.

"Yeah! That's it!" agreed Daniel.

"That's a bunch of bull if you ask me! You just don't have any so you put the banana in there! You're lucky I like your music or I'd send you to the freak farm myself!" snapped KelNino.

Ada began to rise several feet off the floor, humming an African rhythm. "You needn't speak to Jesus so, KelNino Feo-faragher" Ada spoke lowly, "You and Jesus have a sacred bond, respect this bond, and you will rule the universe well." KelNino moved closer to Robin as dreamer carefully slid the Britney Spears cd across the floor away from the group, careful to touch as little of it as possible.

"Um, hey. If you want me to give those leather pants back, that's really no problem. I don't need the money anyway, becau-"

"KelNino, shut up!" whispered Robin. Junta Feo flicked her booger she just picked at KelNino, who gave a look of disgust.

"You all should not disrespect the one meant for Jesus so!" shrieked Ada. She raised her hand and flicked it aside, sending Robin and Junta flying across the room into the lipstick-smeared mirror. The glass broke into shards. Robin lay still, unconscious, but Junta staggered to her feet.

"Robin! Junta!" KelNino screamed! She turned to Ada, enraged, with eyes aglow. "What did you do that for, dammit! He's my hubby! And Junta is my siggie sister! I'm gonna kill you! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Upon KelNino's scream, a great bolt of lightning struck Ada. The chosen one stiffened and fell to the ground shaking.

"You are-a-are making a m-mistake, K-kelnino." Ada studdered through her shaking. "You must use your strengths in moderation, for you are the reincarnated soul of (gasp)...Kurt Cobain, only the female version. You must be careful with your power! It has the power to influence and corrupt many. And you and I, we must work together, to clear the world of trash music, and make it pure again for our Jesus.

Just then, Robin yelled across the room, "Damn, this is a good banana! It's perfectly ripe! Mmmmmmm." Robin stuffed the remainder of the banana into his mouth.

"Eeewwww! You ate that?" cringed dreamer.

"And you didn't save me any?" whined Junta Feo.

"That's disgusting! That's been in Daniel Johns' pants! Eeeewww." replied dreamer. Robin shrugged, picking himself up from among the shards of glass.

"Well, I'm sure Daniel's tongue has been in worse places than that banana. Blech! That kiss was bloody disgusting, Daniel."

"Oh, well I rather enjoyed it!" said Daniel.

"Quiet everyone!" shouted Ada, "KelNino needs to be educated!"

"Hiyah!" shrieked KelNino as she karate-kicked Ada. Ada toppled backwards, but picked herself up to charge at KelNino. However, KelNino was ready for her and immediatly judo chopped the chosen one.

"Judo chop!" KelNino shouted. "Aack!" acked Ada, "Aack again! Aack ack!" Ada acked as KelNino repeatedly judo-chopped Ada. (Okay, I made up "ack.") "Thata girl!" cheered Robin, "We are the evil sons of bitches! No chosen one is gunna mess with us, cuz we're gonna take over the world! Bwahahaha!"

KelNino stopped for a moment. "Oh we are?" she stated. Well, if that is the plan, then I am going to buy a little condo on the Australian coast."

Ada was beginning to get pissed off by constantly being beaten up. "Why must you try to hurt me? I am here to cleanse the world, and I need your help. We must first kill the queen of all evil, Queen Britney, and with her demise, we can ensure a better future for all."

Robin had begun looking around the room for another banana, when all of a sudden, KelNino had a revelation. "Wait, Ada." she said, "You said I was the reincarnated soul of Kurt Cobain? Does that mean I could be the next rock sensation? Change the face of rock forever?"

"No," Ada answered frankly.

"Jolly good!" Ben chirped, "Then what would we do? Kurt Cobain was always such a...a..."

"Wanker?" Robin chimed in.

"Exactly!" Ben replied.

"Hey! Hey hey hey! You guys are dissing my reincarnated soul! So Ada, what does that mean?"

"It means..." Ada started, "that you were destined to join with Jesus and use your power to rid the world of evil with me. Christina Aguilera must die!"

"Oh yes!" Daniel shouted. "I'm bloody tired of being mistaken for that slut!" Everybody nodded in agreement.

"Sounds good to me, but who's Jesus supposed to be?" KelNino queried.

"Daniel," Ada answered simply.

"What!? I'm Jesus, wow, cool. Isn't he that guy, that religious dude?" Daniel smiled.

"Oh no!" Ada droned. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that Jesus. I meant Jesus Joplin, the lost brother of Janis! Very sorry."

Daniel's shoulders dropped in disappointment. "So you're telling me I'm the brother of a madwoman and I'm supposed to join forces with the reincarnated Kurt Cobain?!" Daniel was clearly upset. Robin saw his sadness, so he walked over and embraced his idol. Daniel smiled and held up a banana from his pocket. To everyone's surprise, Daniel paused and pulled away from his love. Daniel said slowly and clearly with a tear in his eye, "I can no longer go on hiding bananas in my pants. I must move on...to a bigger, longer fruit..."

"Daniel! Don't you want me?! I have plenty of Pineapples and Watermelons at my pad!" Robin pleaded. Daniel could not look Robby in the eyes for fear that he would change his mind.

"Okay!" KelNino interrupted, "the sentimental moment is over. Here we are, standing in the girls' bathroom. I have a concert to perform. My band is waiting for me. Um, okay. I choked Rita with my shirt, where did it go? I can't go onstage without my shirt. I at least have to tie it around my waist or something, it's my record deal, gotta advertise the band." They searched the bathroom thoroughly and managed to find the crumpled Yo Mama shirt under the sink. KelNino tied it around her waist, thanking all for looking.

"Thanks all, now I gotta go sing 'Rip those Triangles,'" KelNino graciously said.

"Wait!" Daniel stopped her. "You're in Yo Mama?"

"Um, yeah." Robin said. "Coldfire, Yo Mama, and Chosen Rejects (not chosen retards!) have been playing gigs together. That's why we're all here. KelNino is Yo Mama's singer and lead strings." Daniel seemed shocked. Just then, Jimmy Bazemore popped his head around the door.

"Um, hey KelNino. Sorry to interrupt the party. It looks fun and all, but we're waiting for you onstage."

"Oh, sorry Jugs. I kinda got talking about stuff. Come in for a sec," Kelly beckoned. Jimmy was hesitant at first, but was reassured that it was okay when he saw Robin and Ben (he thought Dan was Christina Aguilera).

"Jimmy, I'd like you to meet Daniel Johns and Ben Gillies. My idols. They play in my fave band silverchair. You know I never stop talking about them." Jugs nodded.

"Yeah" he said in his usual stoned manner, "they suck and that Daniel guy looks even more like a girl in person. Damn. Okay, nice to meet you all, but we really got to get onstage." Jimmy handed KelNino her strings and they headed out the bathroom door. All walked after her except for Ada, who was floating. Daniel and Ben lagged behind. Ben spoke first.

"He, uh, seemed like a nice young lad, that Jimmy fellow."

KelNino heard this with her new supersonic hearing and yelled back at them "Oh! Don't mind Jimmy! He's a big Dope and Sevendust fan, so he hates all the ligher rock stuff! Can't say that I blame him after the experience we had with you two in that bathroom!" Ben laughed, but Daniel was still hurting inside from those leather pants that Robin was now wearing.

Before KelNino got up on stage she said to Robin "Hun, those leather pants make you look like one sexy bitch. You could take over the world easily in those babies. I love 'em." She turned around and walked up the steps, but managed to yell over the crowd at the last moment, "They really nicely accentuate your gorgeously tight butt!" Robin tried to yell back a pleased response, but the crowd was repeatedly screaming "YO MAMA! YO MAMA!", so he just smiled and waved, then made his way towards the front row where the pits would start. KeNino grabbed Jimmy by the arm, insisting that they get the crowd aroused before they started.

"Jimmy, let's get Daniel up on stage, he can throw some wacky lines!"

"That homo?!" Jimmy shouted, "Well, okay. I'll just play around and tune up while you and that girly-man get the crowd up." KelNino nodded and beckoned Daniel from the croud. Mr. Johns got up stage and gladly took the microphone.

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" he screamed. "Let's hear it for Yo Mama! They're trisexual too! You all can be trisexual! Go on, hump your neighbor! Finger 'em dammit!" Much of the crowd was confused at first, but grabbed their neighbors for kicks anyway. Robin just grabbed his own tight butt thinking that he might just keep the leather pants. A couple girls got angry, slapping some guys around them. "Hey! Shut up you stupids! Squares suck! Squares suck! Squares suck! Come on! Squares suck!" The crowd began chanting with him. "Okay! Okay! You're all trisexuals, go on, try anything sexual with that person next to you! Squares suck! Ok! Jolly good! Let's hear it for Yo Mama!" Daniel handed KelNino back the mic, obviously enjoying himself. Jimmy was a bit flustered by the vigor of the skinny guy, but rather enjoyed the cheering as well.

"Hey! One last thing!" Daniel grabbed the mic back, "I wanna give a little Oztralian-BritTish-Amerikin shoutout to all the bathroom pioneers. Yeah, you know who you are! We are gonna rid this world of pop trash together, right?! Yeeeeeah! Kurt and Jesus live forever! Hahaha. Come on, trisexuals, let's get this show on!"

KelNino Feo-faragher winked at dreamer, Junta, Ben, Ada, and even Rita in the front row, blew a kiss to Robin, and started her lyrics with a usual twisted growl as Jimmy and the rest of Yo Mama jammed behind her.

On to Part 3!

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