My Thoughts On Teen Movies

I'm not really into teen movies. (Okay, so a lot of 19-year-olds aren't, but I wasn't really into teen movies when I *was* a teenager.) In fact, when a friend tries to talk me into watching one I haven't seen, I wonder how pathetic it's going to be.

Teen movies are all so much alike it can be pretty sickening. (Yes, it's true that Hollywood likes to recycle the same old stories, especially when the same old stories make money the same way. But I digress...) The protagonists are always gorgeous and always get what they want in the end. The antagonistic characters always get some kind of punishment. Everyone has a perfectly-put-together wardrobe, a decent car, one quirky friend, a jam-packed social life, and either no brain or a vocabulary only someone in a Woody Allen movie would put to use. Guys learn that they *can* kick butt on the football field/baseball field/basketball court *and* get the pretty girl. Girls learn that if they get cooler clothes and try wearing makeup and act cooler than they really think they are that suddenly everything they want will magically fall into place. I'm sooooooo sorry, but it just doesn't happen that way. A movie showing a girl tapping into her own abilities, what she *already* has, would be *much* more believable. However, that won't sell because so many girls out there just want Cinderella stories, in which the female lead doesn't have to do anything requiring any actual display of brain power.

I don't think I need to explain how the plots of teen movies are either pointless or preposterous. I would, however, like to pose the question of just who the hell cares about fickle ditzoids with nothing constructive to do?

I guess I don't like those movies for the simple reason that with most of them, I see nothing I can relate to and nothing I find entertaining.

Some teen movies that don't suck:

• Angus
• The Breakfast Club
• Carrie
• Ferris Bueller's Day Off (this one's so funny it more than makes up for its shortcomings)
• Heathers (I, out of boredom, took an online quiz called "If Your Life Were A Teen Movie, What Would It Be?" and got this. And it's actually not bad at all.)
• Welcome To The Dollhouse (Warning: This movie is an excellent piece of work, and as true to real life as any other cinematic art I've ever seen, but it's also kind of disturbing. If the slightest little thing depresses or upsets you, do *not* watch this film.)

Know of a teen movie that doesn't suck? Fill out the form.

What is your screen name? E-mail address? What's the movie called? (Include some actors' names and the release year if you can.) Any comments on the movie? (Include some actors' names and the release year if you can.)

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