Barenaked Ladies

updated: 9/25/01


One Week


It's been one week since you looked at me
cocked your head to the side and said I'm angry.
Five days since you laughed at me
saying get that together come back and see me.
Three days since the living room
I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
but it'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry


Hold it now and watch the hoodwink
As I make you stop, think
You'll think you're looking at Aquaman
I summon fish to the dish, although I like the Chalet Swiss
I like the sushi 'cause it's never touched a frying pan
Hot like wasabe when I bust rhymes
Big like Leann Rimes
Because I'm all about value
Bert Kaempfert's got the mad hits
You try to match wits
You try to hold me but I bust through
Gonna make a break and take a fake
I'd like a stinkin achin shake
I like vanilla, it's the finest of the flavours
Gotta see the show, cause then you'll know
The vertigo is gonna grow
Cause it's so dangerous, you'll have to sign a waiver


How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my shirt


It's been one week since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the air and said you're crazy
Five days since you tackled me
I've still got the rug burns on both my knees
It's been three days since the afternoon
You realized it's not my fault not a moment too soon
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
And now I sit back and wait till you say you're sorry


Chickity China the Chinese chicken
You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'
Watchin X-Files with no lights on, we're dans la maison
I hope the Smoking Man's in this one
Like Harrison Ford I'm getting Frantic
Like Sting I'm Tantric
Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy
Like Kurasawa I make mad films
Okay I don't make films
But if I did they'd have a samurai
Gonna get a set of better clubs
Gonna find the kind with tiny nubs just so my
irons aren't always flying off the back-swing
Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon
Cause that cartoon has got the boom anime babes
that make me think the wrong thing


How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean? You soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of losing my shirt


It's been one week since you looked at me
Dropped your arms to your sides and said I'm sorry
Five days since I laughed at you
and said You just did just what I thought you were gonna do
Three days since the living room
We realized we're both to blame, but what could we do?
Yesterday you just smiled at me
Cause it'll still be two days till we say we're sorry
It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry
It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry
Birchmount Stadium, home of the Robbie


It's All Been Done


I met you before the fall of Rome
and I begged you to let me take you home


You were wrong, I was right
You said goodbye, I said goodnight


It's all been done
It's all been done
It's all been done before


I knew you before the west was won
and I heard you say the past
was much more fun
You go your way, I go mine
but I'll see you next time


It's all been done
It's all been done
It's all been done before


And if I put my fingers here, and if I say
"I love you, dear"
And if I play the same three chords,
Will you just yawn and say


It's all been done
It's all been done
It's all been done before


Alone and bored on a 30th century night.
Will I see you on the price is right?
Will I cry? Will I smile?
As you run down the aisle.


It's all been done
It's all been done
It's all been done before


Pinch Me


It’s the perfect time of year
Somewhere far away from here
I feel fine enough I guess
Considering everything’s a mess
There’s a restaurant down the street
Where hungry people like to eat
I could walk, but I’ll just drive
It’s colder than it looks outside


It’s like a dream you try to remember but it’s gone
Then you try to scream but it only comes out as a
yawn
When you try to see the world beyond your front
door
Take your time cos the way I rhyme's gonna make you
smile
When you realize that a guy my size might take
awhile
Just to try to figure out what all this is for


It’s the perfect time of day
To throw all your cares away
Put the sprinkler on the lawn
And run through with my gym shorts on
Take a drink right from the hose
And change into some dryer clothes
Climb the stairs up to my room
Sleep away the afternoon


It’s like a dream you try to remember but it’s gone
Then you try to scream but it only comes out as a
yawn
When you try to see the world beyond your front
door
Take your time cos the way rhyme's gonna make you
smile
When you realize that guy my size might take awhile
Just to try to figure out what all this is for


Pinch me, pinch me
'Cause I’m still asleep
Please God, tell me
That I’m still asleep


On an evening such as this
It’s hard to tell if I exist
Pack the car and leave this town
You’ll notice that I’m not around
I could hide out under there
I just made you say underwear
I could leave but I’ll just stay
All my stuff’s here anyway


It’s like a dream you try to remember but it’s gone
Then you try to scream but it only comes out as a
yawn
When you try to see the world beyond your front
door
Take your time cos the way I rhymes' gonna make you
smile
When you realize that a guy my size might take
awhile
Just to try to figure out what all this is for
Try to figure out what all this is for
Try to see the world beyond your front door
Try to figure out what all this is for


Falling For The First Time


I'm so cool, too bad I'm a loser
I'm so smart, too bad I can't get anything figured
out
I'm so brave, too bad I'm a baby
I'm so fly, that's probably why it
Feels just like I'm falling for the first time


I'm so green, it's really amazing
I'm so clean, too bad I can't get all the dirt off
of me.
I'm so sane, it's driving me crazy
It's so strange, I can't believe it
Feels just like I'm falling for the first time


Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has
its cost
Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be
lost
What if I lost my direction? What if I lost sense
of time?
What if I nursed this infection? Maybe the worst
is behind
It feels just like I'm falling for the first time
It feels just like I'm falling for the first
time


I'm so chill, no wonder it's freezing
I'm so still, I just can't keep my fingers out of
anything
I'm so thrilled to finally be failing
I'm so done, turn me over cause it
Feels just like I'm falling for the first time


Anything plain can be lovely, anything loved can
be lost
Maybe I lost my direction, what if our love is the
cost?
Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has
its cost
Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be
lost
What if I lost my direction? What if I lost sense
of time?
What if I nursed this infection? Maybe the worst
is behind


Call And Answer


I think
It’s getting to the point where I can be myself
again
I think
It’s getting to the point where we have almost
made amends
I think
It’s the getting to the point that is the hardest
part


And if you call
I will answer
And if you fall
I’ll pick you up
And if you court this disaster
I’ll point you home
I’ll point you home


You think
I only think about you when we’re both in the same
room
I’m only here to witness the remains of love
exhumed
You think
We’re here to play a game of who loves more than
whom


And if you call
I will answer
And if you fall
I’ll pick you up
And if you court this disaster


You think
It’s only fair to do what’s best for you and you
alone
It’s only fair to do the same to me when you’re
not home
I think
It’s time to make this something that is more than
only fair


So if you call
I will answer
And if you fall
I’ll pick you up
And if you court this disaster
I’ll point you home


I’m warning you
Don’t ever do
Those crazy messed up things that you do
If you ever do
I promise you
I’ll be the first to crucify you
Now it’s time to prove
That you’ve come back here to rebuild


Rebuild (REPEAT)


The Old Apartment


Broke into the old apartment
This is where we used to live
Broken glass, broke and hungry
Broken hearts and broken bones
This is where we used to live


Why did you paint the walls?
Why did you clean the floor?
Why did you plaster over the hole I punched in the
door?
This is where we used to live


Why did you keep the mousetrap?
Why did you keep the dishrack?
These things used to be mine
I guess they still are, I want em’ back


Broke into the old apartment
Forty-two stairs from the street
Crooked landing, crooked landlord
Narrow laneway filled with crooks
This is where we used to live


Why did they pave the lawn?
Why did they change the locks?
Why did I have to break in, I only came here to
talk
This is where we used to live


How is the neighbor downstairs?
How is her temper this year?
I turned up your TV and stomped on the floor just
for fun
I know we don't live here anymore


We bought an old house on the Danforth
She loves me and her body keeps me warm
I'm happy there


But this is where we used to live


Broke into the old apartment
Tore the phone out of the wall
Only memories, fading memories
Blending into dull tableaux
I want them back


Brian Wilson


Drove downtown in the rain
Nine-thirty on a Tuesday night
Just to check out the late-night record shop
Call it impulsive, call it compulsive, call it
insane
When I'm surrounded I just can't stop


It's a matter of instinct, It's a matter of
conditioning,
It's a matter of fact
You can call me Pavlov's dog
Ring a bell and I'll salivate -- how'd you like
that Dr. Landy tell me you're not just a pedagogue
'Cause right now I'm


Lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did
Well I'm lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did


So I'm lying here
Just staring at the ceiling tiles
And I'm thinking about what to think about
Just listening and relistening to Smiley Smile
And I'm wondering if this is some kind of creative
drought Because I'm


Lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did
Well I'm lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did


And if you want to find me I'll be
Out in the sandbox
Wondering where all the hell all the
Love has gone
Playing my guitar and building castles in the sun
And singing "Fun Fun Fun"


Lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did
Well I'm lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did


I had a dream
That I was three hundred pounds
And though I was very heavy
I floated till I couldn't see the ground
I floated till I couldn't see the ground
Somebody help me, I couldn't see the ground
Somebody help me, I couldn't see the ground
Somebody help me because I'm


Lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did
Well I'm lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did


Drove downtown in the rain
Nine-thirty on a Tuesday night
Just to check out the late-night record shop
Call it impulsive call it compulsive call it insane
When I'm surrounded I just can't stop

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