parody of D12's Purple Hills

"Tic-Tac Pills" by Weird Alan

[chorus]

I've sprayed so many breath sprays
I've chewed so many breath mints
But nothing compares
To the Green and Orange Tic-Tac Pills
I've tried the Certs breath mints
Sprayed Binaca once or twice but who's counting
But nothing compares
To the Green and Orange Tic-Tac Pills

Cool calm
With a coupe of Tic-Tacs inside my palm
It gives this sooth feeling down my throat
It goes down like real tasty
And describe the taste I get
When I chew 6 at a time
And then I swallow
ahh yumm
I go to the stare and buy more tics
some fall on the floor
and I squash them by accident
These things make my breath so great
I chew till they start losing taste
There's other dumb stuff to start chewing
Like Dentyne Ice I won't try that again
So breathe, breathe, c'mon breathe
I said c'mon breathe
Everybody who chewed tic-tacs and has a nice breath
If you don't have we'll hand some out
Don't swallow it, better chew it down
The Orange ones are the best in town
Bite hard, better wash it down
Hold these Tic-Tacs while I hand more out

Screw that, orange aren't the best ones
The green ones are the ones you want
yeah man
These Tic-Tacs are green like leprachauns
It's gonna taste good cause the flavor's never gone
Yeah I ate them all and my tongue's green again
And I think my mouth wants more
Others want gum
Big Red Doublemint and Spearamint
But neither tastes as good on my tongue
Have some with my lucky charms
You think my breath's real good since I had some more
Can't stop taking Tic-Tacs
They're so good
I might have to go and buy
Some more new..
I think I sucked too much
Just saw how green it runs
About to roll out my tognue
Watch out here it comes

[chorus]

About a dozen
Different flavors
There's cinnamon
and others
That's why our favorite breath mints
Can look another color
You probably wanna buy each one
And taste the others
Suck, suck them, suck them, suck them
Tic Tac Pills...

Suck Pills
They are good
Have two Pills
On your tongue it soothes
Have two that are filled with taste
It feels so refreshing inside my throat
I wanna suck away
Really like the tatse
I can have these for so many days
But if I don't suck right away
I may start to choke
Heimlick with my throat
*why why why*
Do people think they're supposed to swallow
Tic-Tacs you're supposed to chew
Ahh.. so tasty
Tic-Tacs so tasty
Now I gotta buy more of them
(like fifty!)

I eat 4 tic-tacs at one time
And I love the taste when I'm sucking on mine
(hey) Darn I want some more
Ay got any more tic-tacs?
I can't have gum
Cause the taste is flat
Why the heck do you people think I like Tic-Tacs
Cause all other breath mints taste like Ex-Lax
I suck the tacs
And chew them too
(taste ill)
I'm just like got to buy some more
And I don't want them to run out
I'd tell the store to hell with you
I only need 3 bucks and that should suit
me to be able to buy one package soon

I'm eating more
Offer them to a babe
So if we kiss
We won't have bad breath for it
Cause hers smelt like vomit
Really badly, just so smelly, badly minted girl
Orange or Green, good tic-tacs wanna try?
These pills with the tic-tac seal
So good love taking it
You're Breath kills (yeah right)
Chick I'm for real
Your breath really isn't that dirty dirty
I just think you should put some in your... (mouth)
Now please lets kiss
cuz now both our breaths are all right

(harmonica plays)