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"The Real Rick Lazio" by Weird Alan
May I have New York's attention, May I have New York's attention please... will the real Rick Lazio please stand up. I repeat, will the real Rick Lazio please stand up... we're gonna have a senate race here
ya'll act like you expected to see Rudy Giuliani running for senate right now
jaws all on the floor
like who the hell is this guy how did he get here how?
Hillary Clinton's currently whooping my ass in the news polls
but now one knows anything about me yet
so I'll tell them about how she
"aww...wait...., no wait he's kidding, he didn't just say what I think he said about Hillary did he?"
and Rudy G. Said
nothing you idiots! Rudy's not running for senate
he's getting cancer treatment
Hillary Clinton thinks she's better than me
yada yada yada Rick Lazio
"It'll be a cinch to beat him
walkin around everyone's going who is he?
oh, you know, some republican"
"yeah but he's not rudy though"
yeah I also got a couple of screws up in my head loose
but at least I won't let cops shoot up our neighborhoods
sometimes I want to eat a hot dog, at least it's some meat
but i can't 'cause it's cool for rudy to kick the hot dog vendors off the streets
you're blocking out the sidewalk, you're blocking out the sidewalk
and if you 'll excuse me,you might have to move to move your business down the street
and that's the message we deliver to our tourists
as we expect them to be told what places they can eat
of course everyone's gonna know what I say about Hillary and what she says about me
by the time we both debate for the senate
we all got the daily newspapers don't we?
we just ripping out the headlines?
well some of us gossip too much
as we take quotes out of context
but if we can talk gossip and take quotes out of context
then there's no reason 2 more peeps can't enter the senate race
but if you feel like I feel, we got the candidates
everone go to the voting polls, vote for me as we go...
(chorus)
I'm Rick Lazio, yes I'm the real Lazio
all you other Rick Lazios are just eating spaghettios
so won't the real Rick Lazio please run for senate, please run for senate, please run for senate
'cause I'm Rick Lazio, yes I'm the real Lazio
all you other Rick Lazios are just eating spaghettios
so won't the real Rick Lazio please run for senate,please run for senate, please run for senate
Hillary Clinton doesn't need to born in New York to run for senate
well I do, so fuck her and fuck you too
do you think anyone ever really gave a damn about Giuliani?
half of his critics couldn't even stomach him let alone stand him
"But Rick, what if he won? wouldn't he have been a great republican?"
why didn't you hear he wanted to move Yankee Stadium?
screw that man, that's a Bronx tradition
shoot Giuliani should just stop being mayor
he doesnt want to allow an art exhibit in a museum cuz it features cow dung
and then he argues with everybody while getting nothing done
stupid news anchors, put me on blast on national t.v.
"yeah, he's young and handsome, but there's no way he's beating Hillary, hee hee"
I should play back that video the day of my victory
and show the whole world how Rick Lazio came to be (yeeah)
I'm sick of Hillary and all those liberal pinkos
all they want to do is take our guns
so I shall defeat them in my senate run
and there's a million politicians just like me
who address issues like me,who give their opinions like me
who aren't as well known as Hillary like me
they might just be the next best republican but not quite me...
(chorus)
'cause I'm Rick Lazio, yes I'm the real Lazio
all you other Rick Lazios are just eating spaghettios
so won't the real Rick Lazio, please run for snate, please run for senate, please run for senate
'cause I'm Rick Lazio, yes I'm the real Lazio
all you other Rick Lazios are just eating spaghettios
so won't the real Rick Lazio, please run for senate, please run for senate, please run for senate
I have a new voice for you to listen to
'cause I'm giving you my opinions
when you're used to hearing Rudy and Hillary inside your living room
the only difference is I got the balls to say what's on my mind
and I ain't gotta talk like Rudy or Hillary at all
I just voice my opinion and spit it
and whether you like to admit it
I'm a politician where everyone wants to know more about me
then you wonder how can a relatively unknown guy like me defeat Hillary
It's funny cuz at the rate I'm going on election day
I'll be whooping her ass at the exit polls
I celebrate my victory over Mrs. Clinton
tell her that I'm a true New Yorker crap was never working
In every single person there's a Rick Lazio lurking
he could be a Long Island congressman, spitting out his opinion
also wanting to make a senate run, screaming I will shake things up
with his head high and his arms raised up
So will the real Rick Lazio please stand up
and put one of those victory signs on each hand up
and be confident that you'll defeat Hillary in the polls
and one more time, loud as you can how does it go?
I'm Rick Lazio, yes I'm the real Rick Lazio
all you other Rick Lazios are just eating spaghettios
so won't the real Rick Lazio please run for sneate, please run for senate, please run for senate
'cause I'm Rick Lazio, yes I'm the real Rick Lazio
all you other Rick Lazios are just eating spaghettios
so won't the real Rick Lazio please run for sneate, please run for senate, please run for senate
'cause I'm Rick Lazio, yes I'm the real Rick Lazio
all you other Rick Lazios are just eating spaghettios
so won't the real Rick Lazio please run for sneate, please run for senate, please run for senate
'cause I'm Rick Lazio, yes I'm the real Rick Lazio
all you other Rick Lazios are just eating spaghettios
so won't the real Rick Lazio please run for sneate, please run for senate, please run for senate
haha, guess there's a Rick Lazio in all of us... Fuck it let's all for senate
the end!