parody of Eminem's Stan

My Favorite Web sites

"Pam" by Weird Alan [this is written as a letter from a fan to justin timberlake of n sync hehe]

(chorus) he's going to talk to me, I'm wonderin why
I should go to school at all
I've been up all morning by my cellphone
but Justin's gonna call
and if he didn't it will sitll be ok
his picture's still on my wall
it reminds me at least I've got that
I've got that

Dear Justin, I wrote you but you still aint talkin
I left my cell, my pager, and my AOL screen name at the bottom
I sent two fanclub e-mails last autumn, you must not have got em
there probably was a problem with the way I sent them or something
sometimes I mispell screen names and addresses when i send them
but anyways, like forget it, what's been up man? how's your girlfriend
stupid Britney and her fake boobs, I can't believe you like her
If i have a boyfriend, guess what will be the name of him?
he's gonna be called you, justin
I read about how you were harassing some fan I'm sorry
I would have got mad also If I heard some bitch say "I like JC, not him"
I know you hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even downloaded that duet you did with Gloria Estefan
I like the super bowl show you did with Aerosmith too, as you would say it was phat
anyways, I hope you get this justin, write me your screen name back
just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
this is Pam

he's going to talk to me, I'm wonderin why
I should go to school at all
I've been up all morning by my cellphone
but Justin's gonna call
and if he didn't it will sitll be ok
his picture's still on my wall
it reminds me at least I've got that
I've got that

dear Justin, you still ain't call or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad, I just think it's messed up you only think of britney's ass
If you didn't want to talk to me online
you didn't have to, but you could have told me when you were doing an AOL live chat too
that's screwed up man, you held a chat six days ago
but i didn't know there was one held with you
lasted for four hours and I just didn't know
that's pretty crappy man, you're like my like freakin idol
I want you to be my man, no one likes you more than I do
I'm like not that mad, I just don't like how someone who should be yours is being lied to
rememeber when we met in Virgin records? you said if i e-mailed you
you would write back- see I really need you in a way
I never stop dreaming of you ever
I used to want to track your girlfriend down and bitch slap her
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
so when someone's tearin up my heart, i drift away and put em on
cause I devote my life to you, so I don't have friends for when I'm depressed
so listening to you gets a lot of things off my chest
sometimes I even think you're voice is all my needs
it's like a boyfriend's sweet, smooth voice is singing to me
see every day at school, the boys make fun of me for it
but they're just jealous I'm not talking about them 24-7
no one loves you as much as I do justin, no one does
they don't know how I dream of you so much every night I stay up
you gotta call or e-mail me man, I'll be the biggest fanclub member you'll ever lose
sincerely yours, Pam-- P.s.
me and not britney should be with you too

dear Mr. I'm too good to call or e-mail my fans
this will be the last E-mail I ever send your ass
It's been 6 months and still no word-- I don't deserve it
I know you got my last 2 e-mails, I spelled the addresses perfect
so this is the voice mail i'm sending you, I hope you hear it
i'm no longer a fan of you, now I hope the Backstreet Boy's Nick will call me
hey Justin, i just walked out that door, wanna say bye bye bye?
you know that song by the backstreet boys called "I want it that way"?
about these guys who wanted girlfriends but they were two worlds apart and had a problem ?
that's kinda how this is, you never here when i was calling
now it's too late, i'm trying to track down other hot boy bands now, i'm busy
and tearin up my heart is no longer my favorite song of all
speaking of which, i'm tearin up my Justin pictures on the wall
actually your pictures are too hot to tear up justin, but think about it, we could have been together
you ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep with Britney and will instead dream about me
and when you dream about me, I hope you scream forget Britney
i hope Britney dumps you so you can feel so dumb you didn't want me
see Justin (*i want in that way plays in background*), louder Nick! I'm trying to tell Justin off!
See Justin, that's Nick Carter voice in the back
you should really hear his voice, I just turned up, see he isn't like you
cause at least he lets other people sing and not only sing solo like you
well gotta go, this voicemail's almost at the time limit now
oh wait, I forgot, I'm supposed to ask Nick out
(*sound of a phone being off the hook happens, and operator's voice comes on*)

he's going to talk to me, I'm wonderin why
I should go to school at all
I've been up all morning by cellphone
but Justin's gonna call
and if he didn't it will sitll be ok
his picture's still on my wall
it reminds me at least I've got that
I've got that

justin:

dear Pam
you should not bother writing at all cause i'm always busy
i have been on world tour for like 50 weeks
that's really pathetic you would have a crush on me like that
and hear's an autograph just to shut you up
i wrote it on my handi-wipe
aww that's too bad i didn't see you in the chat, wouldn't have mattered if i had told you
there were like 5 million people in there, you think you could have got in chat too?
and what's that crap that my voice is what you need to comfort you?
why don't you just buy a dog
how lonely are you?
you got some issues Pam, I think you need some counseling
to teach you you'll never get a boyfriend named Justin
and what's this crap that me and britney should not be together?
i'd like to see if your you know whats are so much bigger
besides I also have a boyfriend and we need each other
how the heck will giving up him and having two girls be any better
i hope you get to read this letter, i hope it reaches you in time
before you stalk someone else, you'll be doin fine
if you stop liking 'N Sync a little, losing one fan isn't a lot so Pam
why are you obsessed? try to understand that I wouldn't mind you as a fan
I just want your ugly self to stop stalking me every single minute
I heard this one story from JC a couple of weeks ago and it made me sick
some girl was obsessed and had a brain hemorrhage
she was mad someone in 'N Sync didn't write her fan club mail back and was also being ignored from someone in the backstreets named Nick
and they found out she sent some sort of voice message, but I don't remember the name of the girl I was told that belonged to
come to think about it her name was.. it was you
(sarcastically)Damn!