My birthday is in two days (feb 13th) and I feel so weak. My life is going by so fast, I'm missing something. It seems like, just yesterday I was playing in the mud or running through the woods. And now, I'm all grown up trying to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life. I miss those days. I didn't care about anything or hardly anyone. If someone said something harsh to me I'd just say "I know you are but what am I?" Though that response got annoying after awhile lol. I miss preschool and my nap time. Nap time was awesome. Now I can hardly get enough sleep to survive another day.
I felt free as a child and now I'm stuck in the middle of fucking hell. I didn't start getting headaches until I started worrying about my life and the things around me. My best friend since 1st grade moved to Georgia and I don't talk to her at all anymore. The last time I saw her would be 5 years ago. The first day I met her she was dressed up in pink clothes and I wore these raggedy play clothes and my feet were bare. I stepped on a huge piece of glass and acted like it was no big deal. I was a tough kid. What happened me? I grew up. My parent got divorced when I was seven and that tore me apart but I got use to the fact that I belonged to a broken family. I don't really think things are so bad now. I'm just stressed out and I have my depressed moments.
Every now and then I'll say to myself "I wish I was a kid again". I remember when I was a kid I wanted to grow up so fast just so I could run wild and do whatever I dreamed. But now that I'm grown it's not so fucking easy to just keep up and go crazy like a 5 year old kid w/ a sugar high. I have responsiblity now...though I hate that word. Adults use to tell me "you don't want to grow up fast, trust me...if I could go back to being a young I would in a heart beat". I never cared what they said. I wanted to be grown, but now that I think about it. My childhood years the best. I was a free person then. And now I'm my own individual but I'm also on my own...and it's hard. I'm still young atleast but I'm on my way. Soon I'll be the one saying "if I could go back to being a child, I would"