Um, what's "chiku"?
Nick Carter
Um, what's "chiku"?
Well, here's Nick's page. I think that of all the Backstreeet Boys, Nick is the one that is most likely to really be a girl posing as a guy. A pretty ugly guy. I mean, Nick could be short for Nicole. Here is a fictional story about Nick being outted as a female cross-dresser by the rest of the Backstreet Boys:
Boys: A chick! A chick!
AJ: Nick is a chick. May we burn her?
Boys: Burn her! Burn her!
Lou Pearlman (This takes place when Lou still owned them.): How do you know she is a chick?
Brian: She looks like one.
Boys: Right! Yeah! Yeah!
Lou: Bring her forward.
Nick: I'm not a chick. I'm not a chick!
Lou: Uh, but you are dressed as one.
Nick: They dressed me up like this!
Boys: Augh, we didn't! We didn't...
Nick: And these aren't my breasts. They're false ones.
Lou: Well?
AJ: Well, we did do the breasts.
Lou: The breasts?
AJ: And the hair, but she is a chick!
Brian: Yeah!
Boys: We burn her! Right! Yeaaah! Yeaah!
Lou: Did you dress her up like this?
AJ: No!
Brian and Howie: No. No.
Brian: No.
AJ: No.
Brian and Howie: No.
AJ: Yes.
Brian: Yes.
AJ: Yes. Yeah, a bit.
Howie: A bit.
AJ and Brian: A bit.
Howie: A bit.
AJ: She has got folds of flesh on her chest.
Lou: What makes you think she is a chick?
Howie: She got PMS and castrated me.
Lou: Castrated you?
Howie: I got better.
Brian: Burn her anyway!
AJ: Burn!
Boys: Burn her! Burn! Burn her!...
Lou: Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a chick.
AJ: Are there?
Brian: Ah?
AJ: What are they?
Boys: Tell us! Tell us!...
Lou: Tell me. What do you do with chicks?
Brian: Burn!
AJ: Burn!
Boys: Burn! Burn them up! Burn!...
Lou: And what do you burn apart from chicks?
Brian: More chicks!
Howie: Shh!
AJ: Comic books!
Lou: So, why do chicks burn?
[pause]
Howie: B--... 'cause they're made of... comic books?
Lou: Good! Heh heh.
Boys: Oh, yeah. Oh.
Lou: So, how do we tell whether she is made of comic books?
AJ: Sell her to a comic book store.
Lou: Ah, but can you not also sell trading cards to comic stores?
AJ: Oh, yeah.
Kevin: Oh, yeah. True. Uhh...
Lou: Do comic books sink in water?
AJ: No. No.
Brian: No, they float! They float!
AJ: Throw her into the pond!
Boys: The pond! Throw her into the pond!
Lou: What also floats in water?
AJ: Bread!
Brian: Apples!
Howie: Uh, very small rocks!
AJ: Cider!
Brian: Uh, gra-- gravy!
AJ: Cherries!
Brian: Mud!
Howie: Churches! Churches!
Brian: Lead! Lead!
Kevin: A duck!
Boys: Oooh.
Lou: Exactly. So, logically...
AJ: If... she... weighs... the same as a duck,... she's made of comic books.
Lou: And therefore?
[pause]
Brian: A chick!
AJ: A chick!
Boys: A chick! A chick!...
Kevin: Here is a duck. Use this duck.
[quack quack quack]
Lou: We shall use my largest scales.
Boys: Ohh! Ohh! Burn the chick! Burn the chick! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Ahh! Ahh...
Lou: Right. Remove the supports!
[whop]
[clunk]
[creak]
Boys: A chick! A chick! A chick!
Nick: It's a fair cop.
Howie: Burn her!
Boys: Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn! Burn!...
Um, okay. I don't know what posessed me to write this, but if you have anything to say about it, email me.