What happened the THIRD time I was on TRL
Okay, I case you didn't read about the first two times I was on TRL, I'll give you the gist of what happened: The first time I got banned because I freaked Carson Galy out with my amazing mental powers. I did manage to get on the show again, but it ended when Carson and I were taken back to the mental institution. Now with the VJ and my nutty ater-ego in the Looney Bin together, what happened to TRL? Well...
Carson Galy: Welcome to TR.
Crazy Sara: You moron! TR stands for Taproot.
Carson: I know. Well, I'm Carson Galy, and I've been in a mental hospital with a psychotic chick forever.
Crazy Sara: AHH! This stupid hug-yourself coat won't come off!
Carson: It's s'posed to restrain you.
Crazy Sara: It won't come off!!! (Crazy Sara starts running around in circles, while a bunch of big guys in white try to stop her.) Get OFF ME!!!
(Fight)
Crazy Sara: Again, the reigning champion beats the crap out of you guys!!
Carson: The video in the number...(Counts on fingers) Uh, I dunno. Lets play it, shall we?
(Video gets played)
Crazy Sara: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAA!!!
Carson: I don't think that video was funny. It's the Backstreet Boys, for cryin' out loud!
Crazy Sara: Why didn't BSB get more votes?
Carson: I didn't vote.
Crazy Sara: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!
Carson: What's so funny?
Crazy Sara: Do I look like someone who knows what's funny?
Carson: You keep laughing histerically. Why?
Crazy Sara: Because I know something that you don't know!
Carson: What?
Crazy Sara: It's a SECRET!
Carson: You're more insane than Chris from N Sync.
Crazy Sara: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Carson: Okay, let's go to commercials, because we played one freakin' video, and no one will change the channel, because this is the only time we ever play any videos on our in-need-of-improvement TV station.
Crazy Sara: Teheheheee...
(Commercial)
Carson: We have a caller. I can't believe people want to talk to me! This is cool!
Person on phone: Actually, I have a question for Sara.
Crazy Sara: MY NAME'S NOT SARA! IT'S CRAZY SARA!!
Person on phone: Whatever. I'm just wondering if you could smash a chair on Carson's back for me.
Crazy Sara: Sure! (Takes a chair and smashes it on Carson's back.)
Carson: AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!
Person on phone: That was cool. Thanks!
Crazy Sara: Any time.
(Carson is laying on the floor, screaming in pain.)
Crazy Sara: Uh, I don't think Carson will be able to do anything for a little while. I guess I'll take over.
Carson: NO! You can't take over the show! If you do, something BAD will happen! To me!
Crazy Sara: Something bad has already happened to you. And you're right. I should take over it. Okay everyone, I need some rope, a golf cart, matches, kerosene, and invite some people to watch. Famous people, so we'll be on Entertainment Tonight.
Some guy: Consider it done.
Crazy Sara: Who're you?
Some guy: I'm being enslaved by MTV. My name's #9.
Crazy Sara: Okay. So, take care of that, and I'll act important while we play a video. That video would be "Stinkfist" by Tool.
Carson: *Gasp* You aren't s'posed to call it that! MTV changed the name of that song because it's offensive! And anyway, it's not on the countdown!
Crazy Sara: Stinkfist Stinkfist Stinkfist STINKFIST!
(Video gets played.)
Crazy Sara: I love that song. It's so awesome. You know what else is awesome?
(Camera shifts to Carson's mangled body)
Crazy Sara: That!
Carson: I need a doctor!
Crazy Sara: Let's talk to some callers.
Caller: Hey, I'd like to request seeing Carson get kicked in the can by you.
Crazy Sara: Okay! (Kicks Carson in the butt.)
Carson: OW! You request music videos, not ways to abuse me!
Crazy Sara: What a great idea! From now on, we're not going to vote for music videos, we're gonna vote for ways to abuse the VJ!
Carson: No!
Crazy Sara: Who's on the phone?
Another caller: Hey, I'd like to vote for "Skiing while wearing a chicken suit".
Crazy Sara: Cool. I'd like to see that one too.
Different caller: Hey, can we come to the studio and abuse Carson ourselves?
Crazy Sara: That's a good idea. Why not?
Carson: What about the videos?
Crazy Sara: Oh yeah, this is the only time MTV ever plays any videos. Uh, I'll chose them. This next video is "Ænema", also by Tool.
(Video gets played.)
Crazy Sara: Hey everyone. #9 is back with the stuff I wanted, so now we're going to do something cool. Lookie dis!
(Camera shifts to outside the nut house, where Carson is dangling on a rope, right above a sex-crazed Nick Carter, who is trying to grab Carson's legs.)
Nick: Come here, you sexy VJ!
Carson: HEEEEELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
Crazy Sara: Here's an added bonus: little does Carson know that the rope he's holding on to has been soaked in kerosene, and #9 is about to light it on fire! #9, can you hear me?
#9: I sure can, Craze. I'm about to light the rope on fire. Here I go.
(#9 lights the rope on fire.)
Carson: AAHHH! Hot!
(Carson falls.)
Nick: Oh yeah, baby!
Carson: NOOOOO!!
Crazy Sara: Here's an added bonus: We gave Nick viagra!
Carson: OW! Watch where you stick that thing!
Crazy Sara: (Laughing histerically) Okay, we're gonna take a short break, and when we get back, we'll abuse Carson some more.
(Commercial)
Crazy Sara: Welcome back to Total Requests for Ways to Abuse Carson Live. There's a caller on the line. Hello, are you there?
Guy on phone: Um, yeah, I'm here.
Crazy Sara: What did you want to see Carson do?
Guy on phone: I wanna see Carson hang around some violent non-conformists who hate MTV.
Crazy Sara: Will do.
Carson: NO! You can't make me do something I don't wanna do!!
Crazy Sara: You're right.
Carson: I am?
Crazy Sara: Yeah, I guess I shouldn't abuse you.
Carson: What makes you say that?
Crazy Sara: Well, these animal rights activists keep telling me that senseless violence against animals is wrong.
(Animal rights activists enter, waving their "Free Carson" signs around.)
Activist 1: You're darn right we did!
Carson: But I'm not an animal, I just look like one.
Activist 2: What? You aren't a dog?
Carson: No.
Activist 3: Then what were you doing with that female Saint Bernard?
Carson: I, uh...oh yeah, I am a dog...that talks...and walks on two legs...
Activist 4: He's not a dog! He raped an animal!
Carson: Um, no I didn't. I was mating. Woof woof!
Activist 5: Get him!!!
(All the Activists start beating Carson with their "Free Carson" signs."
Carson! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Crazy Sara: Wow, I guess he doesn't have to hang around MTV haters. Cool!
(Veiwer enters.)
Crazy Sara: Hey, how ya doin'?
Viewer: Great. You said that viewers could come to the studio and abuse Carson.
Crazy Sara: Oh yeah!
Viewer: I also happen to know that you have a golf cart in your posession...
Crazy Sara: True.
Viewer: So I want to drive your golf cart into a football stadium, during a game, with Carson tied to the top.
Crazy Sara: Okay, you can do that. First, we're gonna play some videos, because MTV never plays them.
(Videos get played.)
Crazy Sara: Now we get to see someone drive Carson through a football stadium, during a game!
(Camera shifts to a football stadium, where a ton of people are throwing things at Carson.)
Crazy Sara: Yeah!
#9: (who is at the stadium) Hey, I've got a little surprise for Carson! (Throws some kind of biting insect at Carson.)
Carson: AAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!
Crazy Sara: Good job, #9.
(Commercial)
(Back in studio)
Crazy Sara: HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!
Carson: What's funny now?
Crazy Sara: I'm not gonna tell you!!!
Carson: Crazy Sara, why do you hate me?
Crazy Sara: Because you hosted the show that killed good music.
Carson: What do you mean "hosted"? I'm still the host.
Crazy Sara: No you aren't. I am. You're just my co-host now.
Carson: WHAT!?!?!?!!
Crazy Sara: AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!
Carson: IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE LAUGHING AT??!?!?!?!?!?!
Crazy Sara: Yup.
Carson: But why? I did a good job!! Didn't I?
Crazy Sara: No, you didn't. You sucked!
Carson: But I tried really hard!
Crazy Sara: No! Try not! Do...or do not! There is no try.
Carson: Oh yeah? Well how are you gonna host a show when you're in a mental hospital?
Crazy Sara: Well...
To be continued