Early November is my favorite part of the year to spend with friends.  It really starts to get cold here but I think that just makes us all glow with more intensity.  Last November I spent a good deal of time with Benjamin Creme.  It had been six months since I had really gotten a chance to talk to him, seeing as how he was incredibly busy with various ad campaigns, and I was quite busy racking up hours at Lemmy's Grill downtown.  After trading answering machine messages for weeks, Benjamin managed to get ahold of me with one of his cell-phones.  We agreed to meet at Cedar Oak Park, which was an absolute paradise during the fall season.

I arrived at the predesignated park bench 20 minutes early so I could take-in the colors from the trees for a while.  But Benjamin, knowing me all too well, arrived minutes after I sat down.  I saw him waddling down the concrete path, a shimmer of light from the sun passed over his tiny glazed face.  He was wearing a little wind-breaker made from a Honey Bunn wrapper and in his hand he carried a candy-cane walking stick . . . er . . . I guess you would just call it a cane.  Not that he needed a cane, I guess that was just the style at that time.  Creeping behind Benjamin was a parade of various small animals: squirrels, birds, hungry toddlers; you name it.  Benjamin pretended to not care, but I knew that sometimes the opinions of others really got to him.  Especially when they wanted to eat him and stuff.

"Look who decided to take it easy for a day," Benjamin chuckled as he approached me, somehow managing to get on the seat of the park bench.  I started to hug him but then just decided to put my entire hand around his body and move it up and down, as if I were stroking a phallus or something.  It seemed appropriate.  Then I licked the glaze off my palm and fingers which I think might have weirded-out Benjamin a little bit, but I really meant no harm.

"Big-City Ben still has time for the little people," I said with a smile.  Benjamin looked great.  I could tell he was really happy with what he was doing in life.

"Television is treating me like a king," he said.  "I'm living out my dreams . . . finally."

"That's great, Ben," I replied.  "A few more months at Lemmy's and hopefully I'll be doing the same.  Living out MY dreams."

Benjamin shook his head.  "Come on, James.  You and I both know that if you're ever going to be a successful sculptor then you have to stop playing these games and sculpt, dammit!  You're the best and you know it, so let's see some heart, kid.  It worked for me."

An uncomfortable silence followed because in my heart I knew he was right.  I couldn't continue living on some kind of deferred payment plan.  If I wanted something bad enough, I had to drop what I was doing and take it.

Benjamin broke the silence.  "So how are things with you and Katie?"

"Kathy?"

"That's right," he corrected.  "Kathy."

"So-so," I responded.  "Kathy and I have so much in common, except when it comes to sex."  Benjamin perked up as I knew he would.

"Kathy is a wonderful girl in so many ways," I continued.  "But lately she's really gotten into this whole idea of 'swinging.'  I mean I enjoy sex just as much as anyone else but I also crave the intimancy that Kathy and I share when we're alone."

"Swinging . ." Benjamin said with question.

"You know, when two couples get together and sort of . . um . . trade sexual partners for the night.  And then sometimes it just ends up in one big orgy anyhow.  I don't know how to talk about it really."

Benjamin's eyes (or were they just chocolate chips) widened.  "And this 'swinging' is really bothering you?"

"Yeah," I sighed.

Benjamin's shiny face contorted.  "What the hell are you, some kind of faggot?"

I had to laugh, because Benjamin was a little donut-man and it was really funny to see him curse.

Written July 5, 2002