“M-Marry you?” Kayla choked out.
Bryce nodded his head, “Marry me, become my wife, let me take care of you and Cass.”
“But-but...” she stammered.
“What?” he asked softly.
“Bryce...right now isn’t a good time...I mean I just broke up with--”
“With who?” he asked, cutting in.
“With...” she sighed. “With Lance.”
“You were dating him?” Bryce asked, slightly surprised.
“Yes,” she said in a low tone. “I WAS dating him.”
“What happened?”
“We broke up,” Kayla said blandly. “That’s why I need to get away from here for awhile, away from him.”
“Did he hurt you or something?” Bryce asked, eyes narrowing in concern.
“Phyiscally...no, emotionally...I hurt him more, but yes he’s hurt me emotionally.”
“What happened?” Bryce asked again.
Kayla shook her head, “I don’t want to talk about it right now.”
Bryce nodded his head and looked back down at the ring box he was holding open. “So I take it that’s a no?”
Kayla paused, “No, it’s not a no and it’s not a yes, it’s a maybe.”
Bryce’s face lit up some and he smiled warmly, “All right Kayla Dudley, then a maybe it is.”
Kayla smiled for the first time that day. “I’ll get back to you...promise, just let me think things over...ok?”
Bryce nodded his head, “No problem...just don’t have me waiting all my life,” he joked softly.
Kayla smiled again, “I’ll try not to.”
Bryce kissed her lightly on the cheek and stood up to leave her alone again. “I’m always here for you,” he said gently, pausing at the door.
“I know and I thank you for that,” she replied, already deep in thought.
Bryce nodded his head and walked out of the room, shutting the door after him.
Once Bryce left, Kayla flopped back into her bed again. Marriage? She wasn’t ready to settle down! How could she maintain a marriage if she couldn’t even maintain a relationship? Kayla sighed deeply to herself and wondered what her next move should be. She compared her choices.
Marry Bryce and be guaranteed a safe home and support, also for Casey who needed it the most. Move somewhere else or stay where they were, maybe get a house, possibly even have kids of their own. She could learn to love to Bryce, couldn’t she?
Her mind then drifted to Lance. She could reject Bryce and take a chance of a lifetime, trying to win back Lance’s affection and see if love could ever blossom between them. Take Casey along with her and break away from Bryce. Suffer again and move back to the ratty apartment with hardly any heating and water that wasn’t always guaranteed clean. Possibly have nothing happen between Lance and begin at block one again, without Bryce.
Kayla sighed with the obvious choice of the matter, something she needed in order for her and Casey to survive together. Her main concern for now was Casey and Casey only. Kayla knew happiness was important to herself, but that could wait. Casey needed to grow up in a good, healthy environment with a safe and loving childhood and Bryce could provide all of that. Lance, well Lance could provide possible happiness, the word possible kept ringing in Kayla’s ears. No guarantee, then again, when is there ever a guarantee in life? Especially in love.
Lance sighed deeply and looked around at the other guys. He was grateful for their friendship and lately they had been really stressing the fact they were always there for him. It made him feel a little more secure and wanted in this time of need, but he still didn’t talk about Kayla.
It was almost time to call it a day and Lance just wanted to go home, take a hot shower, and sleep in his bed for the last time for yet another two weeks. They were all leaving for the next town early the next morning and Lance actually didn’t want the morning to come. Though he basically shunned Kayla from his life, he still wanted to be around to possibly catch a glimpse of her. Her face and smile kept running back and forth in his mind, he just couldn't push it out.
He couldn’t believe he had actually told her he didn’t want to ever see her again and he even called her Miss Dudley. That felt so impersonal and he knew her on much more of a deeper level. He just couldn’t go on befriending her, knowing that she has a child with another man that she never told him about. The fact that they lived together added to his anger and hurt.
In his opinion Kayla was being selfish, she couldn’t have both guys and expect to get away with it all. How could she even think about that? He had been hurt in the past and she knew it, yet she still continued with her games and secrets.
Lance shook his head and rolled his head around his neck, trying to remove all the kinks. His muscles were sore from dancing all day and his mind wasn’t focused on anything but the millions of emotions running through his head and heart.
“All right guys, that’s a wrap!” Darren called out.
Lance broke out of his trance and looked up, back around at the guys. Joey collapsed on the floor dramatically and tried to catch his breath. JC and Justin were working on a certain step, perfecting it. Chris was kicking Joey lightly and laughing.
Lance walked back to his duffel bag and pulled a towel out. He wiped his sweaty forehead and pulled out a bottle of water. He gulped down half the bottle and sighed, satisfying his thirst.
Justin walked up beside him and started rummaging through his own bag. Lance turned back around and sat down on the floor, looking around the room. He leaned against the wall and sighed in exhaustion. Justin looked down at Lance and grabbed his own drink, plopping down beside him.
“What’s up man?” Justin asked casually.
Lance shrugged, “Tired.”
“Yeah I know what you mean, man Darren really worked us today,” Justin said, trying to make conversation.
Lance nodded his head unenthusiastically.
“So how’ve you been holding up lately?” Justin asked cautiously.
Lance stared at the floor and didn’t respond. Finally after a long silence he spoke. “Not so good,” he admitted.
“Want to talk about it?” Justin asked hopefully.
Lance shrugged, “Not much to talk about...Kayla and I are over and I’m still hostile about it.”
“Well if you put it THAT way,” Justin said. “What happened?”
Lance sighed, hesitating to debate if he was ready to talk about it yet. He finally decided he should at least give it a shot and if he felt like he was going to break down he could just drop the subject.
“She cheated on me,” Lance said quietly.
“Oh,” was all Justin could say. “Do you know with who?”
“Her daughter’s dad,” he said, almost bitterly.
“Her dau--, her WHAT?” Justin asked, eyes widening.
Lance nodded his head, “You heard me correctly, Kayla has a daughter and she lives with the father of that child.”
“Oh wow,” Justin breathed.
Lance didn’t respond at first. “I can’t believe she would do this to me.”
“Are you sure that’s the whole story?” Justin asked, already knowing the complete story.
“I know all that I need to know and I don’t want to hear anything else about it,” Lance said plainly. “Kayla and I are over, right now in my mind, she never existed in my life romantically, she’s a friend to everyone and a secretary to Mr. Collins.”
“You can’t just disclude her like that,” Justin said softly.
Lance looked over at Justin, “And why not?”
“Because...” Justin started.
“Ah just the person I was looking for!” Alyissa exclaimed, interrupting Justin.
They both look up and smiled.
Justin stood up and opened his arms to greet her, “Aw ‘Liss I missed you too--”
Alyissa walked right past him and plopped down next to Lance. “I was on a wild goose chase trying to find you!”
Justin spun around, dropping his arms to his hips. “Well HELLO to you too!”
Alyissa looked up with a questioned look, “Oh hey baby.” She turned back to Lance, “Can you give me a ride home? I need to talk to you.”
Lance raised an eyebrow and looked over to Justin who was still staring at Alyissa. “I can give you a ride home!”
Alyissa looked up at Justin and shook her head, “No I want Lance to.”
“Fine,” Justin said in a huff. “I’ll just take...someone else home!”
Alyissa giggled at his reaction, “Good luck, I’m sure on of those hotlines will set you up with someone REAL NICE that you can take home.”
Justin turned around and stuck his tongue out. It turned into a grin and he flashed his pearly whites, “I love you too ‘Liss.”
“I’ll see you tonight, expect a call from me,” she called after him.
Justin waved a hand in the air in response and walked out of the door. Joey, JC, and Chris had already left when no one was paying attention.
“All right Lance, are you almost ready?” Alyissa asked, standing up and dusting herself off.
Lance stood up slowly, “Yeah I guess so.”
Alyissa looked down at him and noticed the tired and distressed look on his face. She sighed sadly and tried to keep her perky attitude in order to go through with this talk.
“Come on slow boy, let’s go,” she said, holding out her hand to help him up.
Lance took her hand stood up, getting slower and slower with his movements.
“What’s wrong?” Alyissa asked, narrowing her eyebrows.
“Nothing,” Lance said, shaking his head. “Just tired that’s all.”
“I’ll drive then, I’ve got LOTS of energy,” she grinned. “Lucky you!”
Lance smiled weakly at her attempts to make him smile.
Alyissa picked up Lance’s bag and grabbed his wrist, dragging him out the studio door. Lance let her drag him behind her without any protests. He was too tired to protest.
They reached the parking lot and Alyissa weaved her way to his car. The sun was setting and it was already starting to get dark outside. The sunset was breath taking but Lance didn’t notice. He climbed into the passenger’s seat slowly and shut the door after he was safely in.
Alyissa was already in the driver’s seat, bag thrown carelessly into the back seat. She shut her door and revved up the engine, feeding the car gas.
“Let’s not break my car,” Lance said, staring at her foot applying pressure to the gas petal.
“I won’t,” Alyissa shrugged.
She turned around and backed up, flooring the car. Lance gripped his seat belt and locked the door. He held onto the door handle for dear life.
“’Liss...I really don’t want a ticket...” he trailed off uneasily.
Alyissa grinned, “You won’t get one silly, I’m a good driver.”
Lance laughed nervously and tightened his grip on his seat belt and the door handle.
“So, how are you?” she asked casually, swerving to make a right hand turn.
Lance held his breath and let it out when they just barely missed the curb. “All right I guess.”
Alyissa nodded her head, “So how’s Kayla?”
Lance seemed to forget of his fear of her driving and narrowed his eyebrows, “I don’t know, I haven’t talked to her and don’t plan on it for awhile.”
“Are you two still arguing?” Alyissa asked, swinging around another bend.
Lance remembered his fear and leaned back in his seat, “We were never really arguing, she failed to tell me a few things in her life, I found out the hard way and now we’re not speaking anymore.”
“Ohhh, so that’s the deal?” Alyissa asked, increasing her speed.
Lance nodded his head, eyes fixed on the winding road ahead of him. “I’m feeling a little repetitive telling everyone what happened, but I really don’t want to talk about it anymore...ever in fact.”
Alyissa shrugged, “Well your going to have to face up to it one of these days or else it’s going to be unsettled in your mind for a long time.”
“No it won’t, eventually I’ll get over her and what she did to me, then I’ll forget she even existed and it’ll be done with,” Lance replied.
“Not true Lancey poo,” Alyissa smiled sweetly. “Not true at all.”
Lance looked over at her with a questioned look, “How would you know?”
“Because believe it or not, I know you pretty well,” Alyissa said, speeding up to make it through a yellow light that was changing red.
“Well obviously not that well,” Lance mumbled.
“Oh but I do,” Alyissa jumped in. “You can get mad and hostile, but what happens when all that anger goes away? Then what? All you’ll have left is wasted time left in the past that you could have used well, forgiven her for her faults, gotten the FULL story, and maybe even fallen in love.”
Lance sighed frustrated, he was sick of hearing how he should forgive Kayla. HE didn’t think so and it was HIS emotions and heart at stake here. What would happen if he forgave Kayla? He would have to walk into work everyday and have the chance of running into her. When he did he would have to act happy and go lucky when in reality he was being torn apart inside because of the truth. He couldn’t do that, what if she brought her daughter or other boyfriend into work, how could he deal with that? He couldn’t.
“I got the full story, I know what I need to know and I made my decision, now I wish everyone would stop trying to change my mind,” he finally replied.
Alyissa shook her head, “You don’t have the full story and you jumped to conclusions, everyone ISN’T trying to change your mind, their trying to help you see things from a different perspective and help you get another chance at happiness. Their being good friends.”
Lance looked out the window and forgot about the speeding car. He didn’t believe Alyissa, part of him hope she was right, but the other part told him she was wrong. HE was the one going through all of this, yet people kept telling him solutions like they were as easy as a snap of his fingers, in reality they weren’t. To forgive Kayla, to give her another chance, to build trust up again. This was all complicated that would take a lot of time. Time he wasn’t sure if he could survive through.
Lance sighed again, “I can’t do it ‘Liss, I just can’t befriend her.”
“Why not?” she asked softly.
“She hurt me too much,” he said, looking over at her. “She hurt me WAY too much.”
“Tell me about it,” Alyissa said.
Lance paused, “She wanted my trust so badly and I finally gave it to her...then I find THIS out? That kills me inside. At first I didn’t want to believe any of it, I thought it was all some sick joke, that Bryce wasn’t really Casey’s father, that Casey wasn't really her daughter. But then she didn’t deny any of those things when I asked her, I prayed she would deny them, I prayed.”
Alyissa slowed down some and continued going down the road at an easier pace.
“She didn’t even try to say anything, she just stood there, saying nothing and giving me a blank look. I wonder what she was thinking at that time, if she wanted to make something up or just let me go with my assumptions because they were true, well we both know which one she chose,” he said. “Then she tried to fix things with me the other day,” he started.
Alyissa slammed on the brakes and sent both her and Lance flying forward, then back into their seats roughly.
“Jesus ‘Liss!” he exclaimed. He covered his mouth, “Sorry.”
Alyissa turned her body around to face him and looked at him, “When the hell did you two talk?”
“Yesterday,” Lance said cautiously. “Why?”
“Why didn’t anyone--” she started. She took a deep breath and tried to compose herself. “What happened?” she asked calmly.
“I told her I never wanted to see her again,” Lance said in a low tone. “Ever.”
“Ever!? What about work and stuff?” Alyissa asked, shocked.
“I told her when we were forced to encounter each other we would act appropriately to our surroundings.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Alyissa almost yelled.
“That means, I call her Miss Dudley and she calls me Mr. Bass,” he said flatly.
“Are you ser--” Alyissa yelled out. She covered her mouth and lowered her voice to almost a whisper, “You SAID that to her?”
Lance nodded his head, “It’s the way it’s going to be.”
“Lance...” Alyissa started. She took a deep breath and tried to talk in a normal tone. “Lance I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you saying that to her...I know you were hurt, but so was she. You never let her explain when she wanted to, she’s ready now and you won’t even give her the time of day. I know for a FACT that you care about her deeply because it’s written all over your face, face it, your miserable without her and she’s miserable without you.”
“We’ll both get over it, maybe some quicker than others,” he mumbled in defense.
“LANCE,” Alyissa said sternly. “I’m sick of this little macho pride attitude you’ve been expressing to everyone lately, I don’t know who taught you to act like an ass to girls, but I know it sure wasn’t your momma!” She breathed heavily from trying to control her rising temper. “You mom is a great woman, she always taught you how to be polite and most of all to be a gentlemen, now get off this ego trip you’ve jumped on and come back to reality.”
Lance seemed to back down in his seat from Alyissa’s words.
“You can’t tell me your going to throw away the best thing that’s ever happened to you right now and not even give it another chance! Talk to her! More importantly, LISTEN to her!”
“I tried--” he started in a small voice.
“No don’t give me that bullshit because you haven’t, if you tried so hard then why aren’t you two trying to work things out?” Alyissa asked. “I KNOW the full story and it’s not even CLOSE to what you think!”
Lance narrowed his eyebrows, “What do you mean?”
“I MEAN you need to talk to her!” she exclaimed. “Stop letting your pride be the thing that holds you back from true happiness and possible love! It’s not worth it in the end to look like the more dominant individual! Trust me!”
Lance took a deep breath and tried to think of something to say in return. “I just can’t do that ‘Liss, you don’t understand--”
“Oh I understand perfectly well that you need to get your head out of your own ass and come back to the real world,” she cut in sharply. “Lance...don’t let this opportunity go by you, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life...I guarantee you,” she finished softly.
Lance stared ahead of him and didn’t say a word. He fought his hardest not to cry with all the impact Alyissa’s words had hit him with. They were all true and he knew it, he had been acting like an asshole and only because he was afraid of taking a chance. How could he have been so stupid? He would need some time to re-think things over. He had to leave the next day for the rest of the tour and he could use that time to consider everything from a different point of view.
“All right ‘Liss, I’ll think about everything again,” he finally said.
Alyissa’s face relaxed and she smiled. “Good, that’s a start.”
Lance nodded his head.
There was a sudden wave of beeping noises behind them. They both turned around to find a line of cars stopped behind them.
Alyissa leaned out her window and yelled, “I’M HAVING A BONDING MOMENT HERE!”
“SO WHAT?! GET MOVING!” a guy yelled in response.
“People’s these days,” Alyissa said, shaking her head in disapproval. “So rude!”
For the first time that day, Lance smiled a genuine smile.
Kayla woke up to the ringing of the phone beside her bed. She rolled over and sat up, trying to wake herself up enough to answer the phone.
“Hello?” she mumbled drowsily.
“Kayla? Finally!” Alyissa exclaimed.
“What time is it?” Kayla asked, looking over at her clock.
“Time for you to GET UP,” Alyissa laughed.
“’Liss...it’s almost midnight, what are you doing calling so late?” Kayla asked, sitting up in bed.
“I’ve got some new for you!” Alyissa said excitedly.
“This better be good, I have work tomorrow,” Kayla sighed.
“Oh it’s good trust me...now let me see how good your memory is,” Alyissa said mischievously.
“It’s not bad,” Kayla replied, yawning.
“Does your memory remember a certain *N SYNC-er of the name Lance Bass?” Alyissa asked with a small giggle.
Kayla stopped mid yawn and sighed, “I sure remember him, but he’s trying to forget me.”
Alyissa laughed, Kayla looked at the phone with a puzzled expression. She didn’t know what she said that made Alyissa laugh, she didn’t think she said anything funny.
“What’s so funny?” Kayla asked.
“Well well well, guess who had a little ‘pep talk’ with that certain Lance Bass tonight?” Alyissa asked.
“You?”
“Ding, ding, ding!” she said loudly, into the phone. “Tell her what she’s won!” she said, with her best game show host impression. “Another chance with Mr. Lance Bass!”
Kayla’s eyes widened in disbelief, “Did I just hear what I think I did? Did you just say I might have another chance with him?”
Alyissa giggled, “Damn straight I did!”
Kayla almost laughed out loud, “How the HELL did you manage that one!?”
“Oh when Alyissa talks, everyone listens!” she laughed.
Kayla smiled for the first time that day, “What happened!?” she asked anxiously.
“See? Now your getting all excited and I bet your wiggling around trying to contain yourself,” Alyissa said slyly.
“I am not--” Kayla started to protest, then looked down to notice she WAS wiggling around in her bed from excitement. She blushed and shook her head, “Shut up, your a psychic I swear.”
Alyissa grinned on the phone, “Not really, but sure damn close to it!”
Both girls laughed.
“Well are you going to tell me what happened or what?” Kayla asked, getting impatient.
“I just want to make it clear that I’m not making any promises,” Alyissa said in a serious tone. “I talked to him and convinced him to look at things again in a different perspective, but I can’t make any promises with his next actions are going to be, the next move is his.”
Kayla’s shoulders fell a little and she stopped her wiggling hips. “Oh.”
“Now don’t get discouraged,” Alyissa said, catching her tone. “I think he’s really going to come through with all of this.”
“Well if he doesn't want to, he shouldn’t feel obligated to,” Kayla said in a low tone.
“Don’t do this to me,” Alyissa said, getting frustrated.
“Do what?”
“Get all sad on me, come on now there’s a really good chance Lance is going to come to his senses and listen to your side of the story, we all make mistakes, let’s just not make a habit of them ok?”
Kayla nodded her head and realized Alyissa couldn’t see her. “Yeah ok,” she said glumly.
“Oh come on I’m telling you that this is going to work! Lance is bright when he comes to his senses, he just needed a slap of reality and I gave him a dose of that,” Alyissa grinned.
Kayla gave a faint chuckle and continued to stay silent on the phone.
“Good lord girl perk up! I called you with GOOD news and your acting like your cat just died!” Alyissa exclaimed. “Just you wait and see, Lance will be giving you a call soon, but don’t expect one right away. He still has to look at everything all over again and their leaving tomorrow--”
“Their leaving?” Kayla cut in.
“Oh good, your still there,” Alyissa said. “For a minute there I thought I was talking to myself, but to answer your question, yes they have to finish their tour, they were only staying home for a few days.”
“Oh,” Kayla said, disappointed. “’Liss I don’t know about Lance anymore,” she said cautiously.
“What do you mean by that?” Alyissa asked, knowing what was coming next.
“I mean I feel like I’m stalking him and pushing him to lov--...to LIKE me back and I don’t want to do that,” Kayla sighed. “I mean if he wants to forget me, why should I keep trying to imprint myself in his mind?”
“Because you care about him maybe!?” Alyissa asked, almost sarcastically. “Because you two care about each other and you need to work this out! That’s why!”
Kayla sighed again, “I don’t know about this anymore...”
“No no, I’m going through hell and back trying to get you two back together, this is going to work, I’m telling you, I KNOW these things!” Alyissa exclaimed.
Kayla smiled faintly, “I don’t know ‘Liss, I just don’t know anymore.”
“Well I know so it’s ok! Just go by MY gut feeling!” Alyissa went on.
Kayla laughed softly, “I just have to think about everything again, maybe Lance was right when he said we shouldn’t speak to each other except when we’re in the appropriate settings, maybe--”
“Maybe he’s confused and doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about and your just tired from lack of sleep that I’m taking away from you, but you really DO want all of this to work out and your not REALLY have second thoughts. Maybe my efforts are going to pay off, MAYBE!” Alyissa cut in. “Life is full of maybe’s, possible’s, and ‘I don’t know’s’, but THIS is not the time nor situation to be inserting them into your mind, vocabulary, or life in general!”
Kayla remained silent. “I-I-I...”
“Need sleep,” Alyissa finished for her in a sudden tired tone. “And I do too, I’ve had a long day and I promised I’d see Justin off tomorrow morning, bright and early. I’ve got a total of 3 hours of possible sleep.”
“All right then, I’ll talk to you later,” Kayla said in a dreary tone.
“You should come with me tomorrow,” Alyissa said.
“Where? To see everyone off?”
“Yeah, why not? Their your friends too and I could have you back at work in time,” Alyissa suggested.
“I don’t know...” Kayla started uneasily.
“What did I say about those words?”
“Your right, I’m not sure...”
Alyissa smiled, “Your getting there, we’re getting the old Kayla back.”
Kayla smiled weakly. “I’ll think about it.”
“All right, if you need a ride, feel free to call, my phone is always open!”
“I will and thanks ‘Liss,” Kayla said softly.
“No problem,” she said in return. “See you tomorrow...hopefully.”
With that they both hung up the phone.
Kayla snuggled back down into her covers and sighed deeply. Should she go to see them off? She knew for sure she would run into Lance there and she would have to face him. The question was, was she ready for that? She wasn’t even sure anymore. She wasn’t sure about anything.
