I stared blankly at Justin for a minute, then tried to blink the tears out of my eyes. "Ok, I respect that. Well, I better go now. I'll let myself out, uh...bye."
I opened the door, turned around to take one last look at Justin, and went into the hallway. JC was walking towards me and I broke down and started crying. JC held me in his arms, like any brother would do. "Come into my room. Come on," he said with his arms still around me as he walked into a room on our left. I let go of him and sat on the bed. "What did he do to you?" he asked with concern in his eyes.
"I...went in there. Told him I was sorry and that I...well, that I l-l-loved him," I said trying to get the words out. JC looked right at me and asked, "What did he do?"
"He said no. That he didn't love me and there is no way that it would ever work out. JC, after all the things I said to him. After I made an idiot out of myself, he tells me that, like it was no big deal." I was crying and couldn't stop by now. But JC, being the sweet person he was, just let me cry on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry. He had no right to treat you that way. You need some rest. And forget about him. He's just a heartbreaker and it's better that you don't get too close to him. Now let's get you back to Sarah's and to bed, ok?" I agreed, nodding my head.
One year later --
I stared up at the bright sun streaming down on us and smiled. "I can't believe we're living in Florida!"
I looked to my side, where Melanie was, and we smiled. "I know. Now I get to be even closer to Lance!"
"Well, actually, no you're not! Lance is in Germany right now!" I said to Melanie, laughing as we walked into a shop.
"Whatever. It's the thought that counts?" Mel and I both cracked up at that.
Later that week --
"Lance is coming home in a week! Oh, I can't wait any longer!" Melanie said with excitement raging in her voice.
"Yeah, pretty soon and they'll be home for two months."
"Well, I'm going out with Sarah and Kristi tonight. Please come!" Melanie practically begged me to come since I hadn't gone out a lot lately, but I said no.
"Ok, that was my last offer! I'm out the door now, so I'll see you later, ok?" I nodded as I was flipping through channels. "Are you sure you're ok?"
"Yeah, just dandy."
"Fine then. Bye. And call me and I'll be home in one-second if you want to talk!"
"I don't have anything to talk about."
"Ok, bye!" she said and rushed out the door. 'Oh, this is great. Staying at home alone on a Friday night. Whoa, what excitement!'
I had cooked myself some popcorn and was ready to watch a movie on TV, when a knock sounded at my door. "Just a minute," I spoke; getting up from my comfortable position on the couch. I opened the door and to my astonishment, a familiar face was there.
I could barely get out a sound. "J-J-Justin..."
"Hi Jessie. Can I come in?" he asked and I nodded my head.
"I thought you were supposed to be overseas for another week."
"Well, I couldn't wait any longer. I needed to talk to you."
"Ok. About what?" I said while we sat on the couch. "Well, I need to talk to someone. Someone who can understand the pain I've been going through."
"What kind of pain?" I asked.
"Well, it's not pain. It's just that people are expecting too much out of me."
"Like who?" I asked, not sure if I wanted to hear this.
"Like the fans." Justin answered my question. "I want to ask them want they want from me." Justin said.
And I answered as truthfully as I could. "Justin, I don't know. But I do know that they want to know you, to know what a truly wonderful and amazing person you are. To get a chance to see what I see and the guys see. What they don't realize is you're a regular guy, too. You want someone to be with just as much as your 'Average Joe.' But Justin, when you started this and saw what it was like to bring joy to people. To inspire them through your music, to bring a smile or shriek out of just one girl, and to touch people in the way that you do; it was worth it, right? Your love for music has shone through all that, and it has made you realize this is what you want to be doing. I mean, no matter how hard it is, could you imagine yourself not doing this?"
With every word coming out of her mouth, Justin felt more and more attracted to her. She was wise beyond her years. If only he could forgive himself, if only she could forgive him. He now realized what she had realized just one year ago.
"Jessie, I love you."
I was about to say something when he said this, and this surprised me...a lot. "I'm sorry about last year," he continued. "I've loved you ever since the first day I met you. I want to be with you. Now, I can promise you that things will go wrong and we won't be living in a fairy tale. But if you'll believe me and trust me on this, I'll prove to you we can get through everything. Please, accept my apology." He said his eyes watering up, so I knew this was true.
I stared into his eyes and nodded my head with tears slowly coming down my face. "I forgive you. And...I love you too."
He put his arms around my neck and looked into my eyes. He smiled and put his warm lips on my cheek. "Don't cry," he whispered.
He backed away and looked at me one more time, then pulled closer towards me. His lips touched mind and I felt a spark between us. Something that could get through all those hard times and all the hard times coming up. I knew, at this moment, that this was going to work. Maybe I didn't get the guy the first time. But I have him this time. And that's all that matters.
He pulled away, but his hands were resting on my cheeks. "I've wanted to tell you this for so long Jessie. You changed my world. Gave me a new outlook on life. And I just couldn't stop thinking about you. I love you Jess, I always have. And I always will. I know this has been tough. That we can just never seem to make up our minds. But this time, I think we have."
That had happened a year ago. Now, me and Justin are together, it's our one year anniversary. I was looking over my diary entries and I came across this one that caught my eye:
Dear Diary:
I have now learned that all the days of our lives lead to new and better things. That the broken promises are forgiven and the hole in your heart is filled. Every day I look forward to what might happen; whether that be good luck; good fortune; friends; or most of all, love. One day, someone walked into a room and it changed my life, for better and for worse. I would never take back any day that I've lived through for him. And never will I regret anything I did for love. Some people are lucky enough to find that special someone. Some might keep looking for the rest of their lives, but I have someone now that I will be with for the rest of my life. When you put your trust in someone, you hope they love you enough to keep that trust; that key to your heart. I'm lucky I've found the one person I want to spend all of the rest of the days of my life with. And the one who will love me through everything.
Love always, Jessie
