(Three Weeks Later)
Nikki sighed and sat down on her bed, "What's wrong Rach?"
Rachel sighed, "Justin and I got in a huge fight again. And I have to go face him in three hours for our month Holiday break!"
Nikki rolled her eyes, "Sounds like last week when you guys fought, when you made up you REALLY made up!"
Rachel blushed, "Well, I prefer to make up that way!"
Nikki giggled, "Uh huh!"
"But this time is different," Rachel sighed.
"What do you mean?" Nikki asked puzzled.
Rachel took in a deep breath and paused before speaking, "I think I'm going to break up with him."
"Nu uh," Nikki said.
Secretly Nikki wasn't very surprised. Lately Justin and Rachel had been fighting a lot. And their making up periods grew further and further apart. She knew it was only a mtter of time before they called it quits. They were just too far away from each other.
"Please don't make it any harder," Rachel sighed.
"I won't," Nikki said sadly. She hated to see them break up. They had been dating almost four years. She couldn't imagine them apart.
The car ride home from the airport was silent. Rachel looked out her window and Justin focused on the road. They were still not on speaking terms. Rachel hated the silence between them. It was the kind of silence that was strong enough to speak words. Words of curelty and hate and anger. Words hastily spoken, but nevertheless said. The silence was unbearable, and finally Rachel couldn't take it anymore.
"We need to talk," Rachel said softly.
Justin didn't react.
"Please, Justin. We need to talk seriously," Rachel pleaded.
Justin pulled to a stop in front of her house, "Talk."
Rachel took in a deep breath as if to give her strength to do what she didn't want to, "I don't think we should be a couple any longer."
Justin turned to stare at her. His brown eyes twisted in pain, "I know."
Rachel nodded, "I love you, that's not the problem. It's just that the distance is too much. It's spreading us further apart both physically and emotionally. I can't take it anymore. We're fighting like...almost like..." Her voice trailed off as her eyes filled with tears that she refused to let break her.
"Like we did before we started going out," Justin finished.
Rachel nodded, "I don't want us to fight, but I know we won't get any better. We just have different paths now. In highschool we had our friends and our school and homes to tie us together, but now we have nothing. We're in search of different needs and we don't need each other. I'm scared because I don't want to walk out of here. I'm afraid I'll never feel again how I feel when I'm with you, but I have to do it. This is too hard for me. It's stressing you and it's hurting us both."
Justin nodded, "This is all true. But Rachel can't we try harder?" Justin asked tears starting to fall. "I'm in love with you. I can't even think about you not being in my life! Can't you give me another chance?"
"I'm sorry Justin, but I can't," Rachel said and got out of the car.
She ran behind her house so he couldn't see her. She waited for the sound of him driving away and finally heard it. She couldn't face her family just yet. So she climbed inside her car and decided to drive.
How could I have done this? I love that man? Can I make it without him? I need him so much. But things aren't right are they?
Rachel sorted through her problems mentally. She let the realization that she and Justin weren't a couple hit her. And it hit her hard. Mixed emotions of anger, guilt, love, heartbreak, and fear pooled together and flooded out of her over the brims of her eyelids. She heard an old song come onto the radio. It seemed to describe her exactly.
How do I get through a night without youIf I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be
Oh, I need in you in my arms, need you to hold
You're my world, my heart, my soul
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything good in my life
And tell me nowHow do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever
Survive
How do I, how do I, oh, how do I live?
Without youThere'd be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There'd be no world left for me
And I, baby I don't what I would do
I'd be lost if I lost you
Oh, if you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything real in my life
And tell me now...
Rachel cried letting all her hurt out and finally headed back to her family's house.
(January 5th)
"X-mas was funnn!" Nikki smiled trying to cheer up her ever so depressed friend.
"Yeah! I have to go see the doc today! Probably he'll tell me I need to cut back on holiday goodies! I have gained at least ten pounds!" Rachel smiled.
"You'd better go, you'll be late!" Nikki wanred.
Rachel smiled and put on her black coat over her jeans and burgendy sweater. She hurried to the doctors office. Once she arrived she knocked on the little plastic window.
"Yes?" A middle aged nurse answered.
"Rachel Hardcastle here to see Dr. Kemp!" Rachel called.
"Right away Rachel, go on back."
Rachel stared into the kind eyes of the doctor. He had small creases all around his face from smiling. He looked genuine and kind hearted. Rachel liked him instantly.
"Rachel, I have some news for you," The doctor said patiently.
"I'm gainging weight rapidly!" Rachel laughed.
"Well, you have put on some pounds," the doctor smiled.
"I knew I shouldn't have had seconds on that darn pumpkin pie! My ma knows it's my fav!" Rachel laughed again. She cut her laughter off when the doctor didn't crack a smile.
"Rachel, you're pregnant," the doctor said calmly.
Rachel's face paled, "Are you sure?"
The doctor nodded, "Positive, two months. Do you need some information on abortion clinics?"
"No! I could never kill my baby," Rachel said still taking it in. 'My baby?'
"Do you need some DNA testing to find out who the father is?" he offered.
"No, I know who the father is," Rachel said realizing what she now had to deal with.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"Positive, I have to go now," Rachel said.
She ran out of the office and bit her bottom lip anxiously. How would she tell her parents? How would she tell Justin? Justin had been offered a position of the NC Tarheals pro basketball team. She couldn't ruin his life like this. That wouldn't be fair, specially since they weren't even dating anymore. She would just have to keep it a secret. From everyone except her family.
Nikki walked into her dorm. She was surprised to find the lights off. When she turned them on she gasped. Rachel's stuff was all missing. Her bed was neatly made with a white piece of paper on it. Nikki picked up the note and read it.
Dear Nikki,
Don't worry, I didn't committ suicide. Something has happened. I wish I could tell you, but I can't. Someday I will be able to. No today, but someday. I want you to know that you're my best friend. I love you with all my heart, and I would do nothing to hurt you. I'm switching colleges and moving away for a while. It's for the best. Someday I will find you and tell you everything, but until that day comes know that I'm still loving you with all my heart.
Yours Always,
Rach
Nikki stared at the note in confusion. What was going on? Had she just lost her best friend without a single trace?
