Lance gazed down at her lying there. He took his hand and touched her face. Before he realized it, a tear had escaped and splashed down on her cheek. It had been his tear.
"Lance? What could this be all about?" Mercedes asked, lifting her hand to catch another tear before it fell.
"The night you had the party at your house. I was there."
"The night that I ended up going to Fall Brook?"
"Yes."
"I know you were there Lance. I just didn’t see you, but everyone said you were there...your car was there."
Lance took her hand. "You did see me there, Mercedes. I spoke with you. I thought you knew it was me."
Mercedes gave him a completely lost look. "I don’t remember that at all."
"Later on, around 3 in the morning, I realized you thought I had been Liam. "
Slowly, an awareness overtook her. Her eyes widen, she sat up clutching the towel to her chest and she looked at Lance with a mixture of fear and embarrassment.
"No. no. no. no. NO." Lance held Mercedes as her cries echoed in his ears and she beat her fist into his chest.
In her anguish and hysteria, the towel fell away from in front of her and she sat there crying on his shoulder and futilely pounding her fist into his chest. They were completely naked together. The pounding didn’t hurt him, but Lance winced as she cried. Her tears stung.
Mercedes calmed down, Lance pulled up the comforter from the bed and covered her. He held her, lovingly, wiped the tears from her face and tried to keep his own emotions in check. Mercedes laid under the comforter motionless with only an occasional sniffle. Lance laid beside her, his arm around her and patiently waited.
"What..." Mercedes began to speak. "What made you think I could? You and I we were friends, good friends, but still we were just friends."
Lance felt ashamed. "I’m sorry, Mercedes. It blew me away to think that you felt attracted to me. I had loved you for so long. But, I should have known that you couldn’t have been ready to make love to anyone so soon after your husband died."
"I must’ve seemed like a...slut." Mercedes buried her face in the comforter and started to cry again.
Lance held her tighter, "Oh my good God, no. No, Mercedes. For me, until that moment I realized the truth...it had been the most beautiful night of my life. It fulfilled all my longing for you. I adore you still. For me it was all about love." Lance kissed the back of her head and pressed his face into her curls.
Mercedes flinched and tried to move away. "How can you say that? I was a sick, pathetic, clinging..." her jaw trembled... "whore."
"Don’t say that! Please, Mercedes that’s not what happened between us. It wasn’t just sex. It wasn’t like that. Please. Please." Lance strained to pull her face to him, to look in her eyes. To make contact. She refused to look at him.
"I love you, I love you, I love you..." Lance murmured to her.
Sometime during the night, Mercedes fell asleep. Lance got up and retrieved his clothes from the bathroom. He dressed, blew out the candles and returned to the bedroom to flop into one of the large overstuffed chairs.
It was on January 11th of 1999. Lance even remembered the soft peach dress that fell off her shoulders that Mercedes wore. It had been a party to celebrate their winning BEST NEW ARTIST AWARD at The American Music Awards.
Liam busied himself with ‘making the rounds’. Mercedes was too lovely not to be dancing. Lance asked her and she happily accepted his offer. While they were out on the dance floor, this song came on.
"When We Dance"
If he loved you
Like I love you
I would walk away in shame
I’d leave town, I’d change my name
When he watches you
When he comes to buy your soul
On your hand his golden rings
Like he owns a bird that sings
When we dance
Angels will run and hide their wings
The priest has said my soul’s salvation is in the battles of the Angels
Underneath the wheels of passion, I’ll keep the faith in my own fashion.
When we dance
Angels will run and hide their wings.
If I could break down these walls and shout my name at Heaven’s gate
Turn these heads and not destroy us
In the darkness and shame of losing faith
Angels are broken
Devil’s no longer a foe
Hell’s fire
But a promise
I’d still be saved
I’m still in love, still in love, still in love...
He won’t love you
Like I love you
He won’t care for you this way
He’ll mistreat you if you stay
Come and live with me.
We’ll have children of our own.
I will love you more than life
If you’ll come and be my wife.
When we dance
Angels will run and hide their wings.
-Sting
Lance held her a respectable distance. But, his hand touched her back and she put her head on his shoulder. He smelled her perfume. He could’ve lost everything he once thought he held dear that night and never cared as long as she kept dancing with him.
"Lance?" Mercedes called his name and he awoke from his daydream.
He opened his eyes, she was holding out her hand to him. Lance got up from his chair and knelt down at the side of the bed. His eyes never leaving hers.
Mercedes placed her hand on his face. He kissed her fingers, then he dropped his head onto the bed and Mercedes stroked his hair. "How...could...you..."
"I’m sorry, I’m sorry Mercedes. I thought you wanted ME. I thought you wanted...me." Lance said dejectedly.
Mercedes finished what she had meant to say, "How could you have ever looked at me the same way again?"
Lance gazed into her eyes, "Because, I love you."
"That thought has occurred to me." Mercedes actually smiled slightly. "Lance?"
"Yes."
"I was cold and you warmed me..."
"I asked you to give me some sugar and then I kissed you."
"Just like that dream I had at your house?" Mercedes said.
"Just like the dream." Lance replied.
"You were very gentle."
Lance lifted his head, "It was the most beautiful night of my life, Mercedes."
"Come love me again." she whispers to him.
He gazes at her bare back. Mercedes is lying face down on the mattress. Lance moves his hand slowly down the length of her body. ’Thank you God’
His hand rests on her bare bottom. He kisses her shoulder blades. She rolls over. Her mellow and contented smile assures him that she shares in his warm after glow.
"Are you alright?" Lance asks quietly.
Mercedes nods. "I guess I fell asleep." she grins.
Lance nods, "I guess you did, Darlin’" He leans over and kisses her lips.
"Are you alright? Was I too...rough? Did it hurt?" Lance asks gently.
Mercedes smiled. "Come here, you." Lance laid down beside her, his head resting on her right shoulder and breast. Mercedes put her arms around him and held him. She ran her hands through his hair. His right hand resting on her bare stomach. Mercedes would breathe and watch his ring shine in what was the early light of dawn. She rubs her hands over the expanse of his shoulders and back muscles.
"You have been...wonderful." Her eyes glimmer, "Each and every time."
"I was just a little enthusiastic." Lance grinned.
They both chuckled in a quiet, warm, close and sleepy way.
Mercedes wondered how soon he would have to get up to face the day ahead.
"Lance, have you slept at all tonight?"
Lance raises his head slightly and looks lovingly into her eyes, "I don’t think so. How could I? I just want to watch you lying here. I think I’m afraid to sleep, what if I wake up and it was all a dream?" She smiles at him. He kisses her shoulder and lays back down.
"Mercedes you are so beautiful." Lance paused and took a deep breath before he continued, "Mercedes, I never knew..." he closed his eyes, "I never knew how incredible it could be."
Mercedes touched his face with her finger tips, outlining the contours. Like a feather, so soft, her touch soothed him. Soon, Lance had fallen asleep.
It was the usual routine for being on the road, the obligatory wake-up call. Lance reached for the phone and as he mumbled his thanks he looked around...he was alone.
