Mercedes poured her tea and waited for the receptionist to connect her with Dr. Fitzpatrick at Fall Brook.
"Mercedes!" he sounded chipper, "To what do I owe this wonderful surprise?!"
As she dispensed with the pleasantries, Mercedes forged ahead with the revelation of what had happened the night of her breakdown.
"Why would Mr. Bass feel he needed to share this information with you Mercedes, this comes as quite a shock to me."
Mercedes tells her doctor that her relationship with Lance had grown from friendship to love.
There was a silence. "And you feel Lance returns these feelings?"
Mercedes gushes with her overflow of affection for Lance, "Yes, I do."
"Mercedes, didn’t we discuss the fact that you don’t trust musicians and after what you’ve seen in your line of work you told me you didn’t think they could be trusted."
"Yes, I know I said that, but Lance is different. He’s the most honest and sincere person I’ve ever met!"
"And you feel that he’s told you everything about that night and the motivation for his actions?"
"Yes, of course. He didn’t have to tell me, but he did. He couldn’t stand knowing about that night while I was completely in the dark. He felt it would be dishonest to take our relationship to the...next level without being completely honest with me. Lance put our relationship on the line for the sake of honesty. I know I can trust him."
Dr. Fitzpatrick paused again, "Mercedes, how can you excuse a man who made love to you while you thought he was your dead husband?"
"Lance wasn’t aware that I thought he was Liam."
"So, Lance thought you wanted to make love to him when your husband had only been dead for two months?"
Mercedes grew quiet. "Lance loves me and...he feels very badly about..."
"Lance LOVES you? Mercedes, could it be just an obsession and not love?"
"Doctor, please, I know Lance loves me. Why would he tell me something that he knew might turn me away from him, if he didn’t love me and want to do the right thing?"
"Could it be that you were starting to remember that night...you’re down in Florida, did some flash of memory come to you? That might have frightened him into wanting to come clean...so to speak. Who really knows WHAT happened that night, Lance wanted to insure you remembered what he wanted you to remember...perhaps."
"No, I don’t agree. I don’t like what you’re implying."
"Mercedes, I hesitate to bring all this up, but I feel I must. It pains me to shake your faith in Mr. Bass this way, since you seem so obviously happy in your relationship with him...but, I cannot encourage you to continue to see him until we can further ascertain his...role in the breakdown you experienced."
"His role?" Mercedes pulled her legs up to her chest and hugged them, "You’re joking."
"No, Mercedes, I’m not joking. Do you know the state of the friendship your husband shared with Mr. Bass prior to his death?"
"Lance admired Liam. He told me so."
"Admiration? What about jealousy?"
"What would Lance have to be jealous about? He’s so successful, he..."
"He didn’t have you, not until Liam died."
"That’s crazy."
"Mercedes, why don’t you come back for a visit. Not as a patient, but to continue the informal conversation we’re having."
"No, no I don’t like what you seem to be implying."
"Are you afraid of the truth? The truth can’t hurt you Mercedes, only lies can hurt you. Only secrets can hurt you. You need to delve further into the relationship between Liam and Lance to get at the truth. We need to uncover the reasons for your breakdown."
"Lance had nothing to do with that. Nothing."
"Is it possible that Lance exploited your vulnerability that night in the Barn? He knew how much you missed Liam."
"No, that isn’t what happened. Lance isn’t like that..."
"Then, why did your doctor in Orlando believe you had been the victim of a sexual assault?"
"What?" Mercedes uttered near tears.
"Ask him, Mercedes, ask your gynecologist about the HIV testing and the morning after pill."
"I have...I have to go now." Mercedes unceremoniously hung up the phone without another word exchanged. She shook uncontrollably.
‘Why would Dr. Fitzpatrick say these things? Why? He doesn’t know Lance, I know Lance isn’t capable of any of those things.’
"Is it possible that you had started to remember that night?" Dr. Fitzpatrick asked. She had two dreams, only Lance connected her beautiful dream with that night. She hadn’t. She hadn’t until he told her there was a connection. There was also the dream that frightened her.
Mercedes dialed the number of her gynecologist in Orlando. Lance returns to the room to find Mercedes still on the phone. He smiles as she looks up and winks at her as he plops down on the bed patiently waiting for her to finish.
"Why isn’t it possible to fax my records to me?"
"Ah uh huh." Mercedes rolls her eyes, "Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t these MY medical records."
"I understand that, but your office won’t give me an appt for over a month...that isn’t good enough."
"Yes, see what you can do. I’ll be at this number most of the day. Thank-you."
"Is everything alright?" Lance asks, taking her hand.
Mercedes bends down to kiss him, lingering a moment, "Ummm, yes. Now it is."
Lance pulls her closer to him and she lays her head on his chest. He plays with her curls.
"How was your meeting?"
"Ok. How was your phone call with Dr. Fitzpatrick?" Mercedes crinkles up her nose.
"That bad?" Lance asks, placing his fingers from his lips to her cheek.
"It seems the better I feel, the weirder he gets."
"I’d like to know why he never called me to come see you before you left Fall Brook." Lance said almost absentmindedly.
"What are you talking about?" Mercedes asks, laying down on her side next to him.
"I had come up to see you, as you know, but I couldn’t. He and I talked and he said he’d call me when I could come and visit you, but he never did." Mercedes thought for a moment, "What did you two talk about?"
"That night. The night in the Barn." Lance answered. Her eyes widened.
"I know, it’s odd. I never thought I’d be the one to tell you. I thought he’d tell you about it." Lance said.
"What else did you talk about?" she asked.
"Liam." Lance was hoping she wouldn’t ask for any more detail than that.
Mercedes only asked, "Did it concern your friendship with Liam?"
"Somewhat." Lance answered truthfully, although with noticeable unease.
"Did you two have a falling out before Liam died, Lance?"
Lance looked at her, looked into her heart, and wondered if he should be the one to open that subject up. After last night, he didn’t know if she had recovered enough to take another blow.
"Liam and I weren’t as close when he died, as we were in the beginning. I’m sure you knew that."
"I suspected that. Was that why you voted to leave Transcon?"
Lance reached for her hand. "No, I voted to leave Transcon because it was the right move for the group."
"What happened between you and Liam?"
Lance looked up at her and tried to smile, "I want to give you my undivided attention and full support when we have this discussion, Mercedes. It’s important that I do. Right now, unfortunately, I have to meet with a local radio station DJ and do an interview. How about when I get back?"
When Lance returns from the radio interview he finds Mercedes asleep. On the night stand a piece of hotel stationary has written upon it, "June 30 3:30 pm Dr. Westfall"
He picks up a book of poetry that laid open beside her, "W.B. Yeats".
"But dear, cling close to me;
Since you were gone,
My barren thoughts have chilled me to the bone."
Lance removes his shoes, and lays down beside her. Without wanting to disturb her, he gently wraps his arm around her waist, hugs her and closes his eyes.
Mercedes opens her eyes. She feels his warm embrace, smells his masculine after shave and hears his restful breathing. Mercedes turns towards him, and sees the peaceful look on his beautiful face. Fast asleep. She is content to watch him slumber. Mercedes notices the scar over his left eye lid. Mercedes touches it gently with her soft fingertips. An overwhelming depth of love wells up inside her as she thinks of the many acts of kindness and affection he has performed for her. She tries desperately to block out the painful questions Dr. Fitzpatrick put to her. Why would he try to get her to doubt this sensitive and loyal soul? Mercedes felt stronger and healthier than she had in a long time. She had more reason to suspect Dr. Fitzpatrick wasn’t acting professionally than to ever doubt Lance. She wanted to talk with Lance about it, but at the same time she just wanted to get on with the joy of living these moments with Lance. Their time together was too precious to ruin with negative thoughts.
Mercedes, Bobbie and Dani make their way into the VIP section in front of the stage. After such a peaceful afternoon, it was unnerving to be engulfed by all the screaming! The minute Lance took to the microphone to introduce "God Must Have Spent" he looked towards the VIP section, found her, locked eyes and put his right hand to his heart. Mercedes knew that was their signal.
They had never really said anything about it, but she knew. Mercedes smiled and put her fingers to her heart in response.
After the concert, they had to leave for Tampa on the bus. Mercedes sat in the living area with Bobbie and Dani waiting for the guys to join them. Lance came in all showered and looking comfy. Ready for a short nap enroute to their next destination.
They settled into his berth. He hugs her close and cuddles.
"Tired?" Lance asks her. Mercedes just smiles and nuzzles his neck. "I read that poem. Yeats? Where you lonely while I was gone? That was a sad poem." he looks into her eyes. "Are you alright?"
"I’m fine. Yes, I did miss you. Naturally." She whispers and then kisses his ear.
"Chris brought something up this morning and we should discuss how we want to handle it." Lance said. "I want you to know how dedicated I am to you. It’s like I wish I could yell it from the mountaintops, I’m so happy." He squeezes her with a cuddle.
"Me, too." Mercedes smiles. Lance kisses her nose.
"At the same time, I have concerns about your safety. I don’t want to play mind games with the fans and media and call you my ‘friend from home’, but, I don’t have any way of knowing what kind of reaction the truth will cause. I don’t want you to get hurt in any way."
Mercedes brought her hand up to his face and caressed it, moving her soft fingertips along the lines. Then, she kissed his lips. "You and I know the truth, nothing else matters."
"But..."
"No." she said softly, "I won’t be responsible for any fan backwash against you or the group. Your relationship with an ’older woman’ is the stuff for THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER and STAR rags. I won’t make these people rich off our relationship, and I won’t jeopardize the success you’ve all worked so hard for."
Lance kissed her head, "I love you."
"And I love you. When you stood on that stage tonight and put your hand to your heart. I knew that was for me. It meant every bit as much to me as if you had shouted your devotion to me in front of all those screaming fans. Maybe more."
