It was a cold and gray morning. Lance heard his daughter cry and the padding of Mercedes bare feet on the floor as she hurried to the Nursery. Softly she spoke to their child and hushed her. For some reason her words of comfort to the baby put Lance in a somber mood. He imagined laying in the four-poster king-size bed in the Master bedroom. As he heard Ellie’s cries he would go pick her up, shush her and bring her into their bed for Mercedes to nurse. He imagined laying there beside them. The sight of Mercedes revealing herself and the baby hungrily nursing from her. Oh Lord. Get out of bed, Bass. Thinking like this isn’t helping you any!
Lance had phone calls he needed to make, and schedules to check. The rest of the guys would be returning to Orlando Monday to record and he should figure out the logistics of this whole deal. He had to talk to Mercedes about making a home base in Orlando for the next month or so. She used to know what life with him was going to entail. Now, she was unaware of the vagabond nature of life in the singing group called *N SYNC.
As if that wasn‘t enough of a concern, he had to get a detailed update from the PI Firm. If they do catch Matt, Lance was sure that they’d be able to find that driver, ‘Danny’ and eventually link them both to Mercedes’ sister, Victoria. It was of the utmost importance to Lance that they finally locate Dr. Fitzpatrick. It made Lance uncomfortable to think he could be lurking around, as well.
As Lance stood up from the bed, he heard Wes downstairs taking the puppy out for a walk. It made Lance chuckle. This big hulk of a man, with this little cocker spaniel. Above and beyond the call of duty...as always. Lance was grateful for the comic diversion.
Lance stood at the door of the Nursery. He rapped his fingers on the door quietly. "Mercedes?" He asked. "Can I come in?"
Mercedes beckoned him inside and smiled brightly as he peeked around the corner. "Good Morning Lance. Thank you for putting Ellie down for me last night."
It was with a measure of shyness that Lance answered her. "That’s no problem, really. We had a little talk, Ellie and I." Then he absentmindedly touched Mercedes’ hair. "Good Morning. Is this the first time she’s been up since we went to bed?"
Lance kissed his finger and touched the blanket under which the baby’s head was nestled. He didn’t want to risk embarrassing Mercedes by leaning over and kissing the baby.
"Just now." Mercedes smiled. "I hope you feel as refreshed as I do."
Lance managed to smile. "I had a lot on my mind last night, but I slept pretty good." He took a seat over by the windowsill. "Mercedes I have to be at a recording studio in Orlando Monday. We need to make our home base in Orlando for the next month or so while the guys and I work on the new CD and get ready for the Superbowl performance."
"Lance we just got here." Mercedes said with apprehension.
"I know. I’m sorry. I spoke with the guys and they’ll be back from Rio sometime today and they’ll be ready to go into the studio on Monday. So, if we could try and get settled in tomorrow evening...that would be good."
Mercedes stared at him blankly. "Oh. I see." Lance could see her struggling with all the demons in her mind. She didn’t have anything to draw upon here. At this point, she was going on blind faith. It had to be difficult to trust someone you really don’t know to make these decisions for you and your child. "I like it here, Lance. This is a good place for Ellie. She has her grandparents nearby."
Lance brushed his fingers against her cheek, tenderly. "I know, Mercedes. Please trust me. You will like Orlando, too. My parents will come and visit Ellie while we’re there. And it’s so important for the three of us to be together. It’ll be a quasi-normal life there for a month or so." He chuckled, his eyes never leaving her face. "I’ll be in the studio during the day and we’ll be together every night. We can go to all the places you remember enjoying in Orlando when you interned there."
Mercedes was quiet. Lance started to feel a little panicky. Then, she looked directly into his gentle green eyes...and smiled. "Ok. I’ll try to stay calm. I don’t think I ever enjoyed packing up on a moment’s notice. But, if you say so...I guess this will work out fine."
A smile busted out on Lance’s face, "I promise." He then kissed the top of Mercedes’ head. He was ecstatic.
Lance noticed that Mercedes was about to switch sides and he asked if he could burp Ellie.
"Ok, but...ummm, turn your head a second, k?" Lance turned to insure her modesty. But, he still had that smile on his face. She trusts me. We’ll be in Orlando together. All three of us. Where there’s life, there’s hope.
"When’s the basketball game?" Mercedes asked.
"Wes and I are picking Darren up around 2:30 and the game’s at 4...so it’ll probably be over in plenty of time to meet you girls for dinner at, say...7:30?"
"It’d be you, Gwen, Kerri and, of course, LuAnn. My Mom says they’ll be over here by 6...if not sooner." Lance was in a great mood now. Mercedes could tell how happy he was, and that made her happy, too.
Mercedes signaled that Lance could take Ellie now, and he said, "Tonight’ll be fun, Mercedes. I’m glad that we’re going out."
With a shy smile, Mercedes answered, "Me, too."
Lance wore the red sweater his sister gave him for Christmas and khaki pants. Mercedes thought he looked...really good.
"Are you sure you don’t mind me going to the game?" Lance was speaking to Mercedes as the group of them gathered in the kitchen and Great Room munching on some lunch. He took Ellie from Gwen and kissed his baby gently.
"Of course I don’t mind. It’s a guy thing, Lance. Enjoy yourselves!" Mercedes told him. She was tossing a salad at the island counter in the kitchen.
"Now I know why I married you." Lance said automatically. But, then he paused, exchanging a ‘look’ with Mercedes. His eyes lowered shyly, and he smiled. She caught his gaze and tilted her head, timidly grinning.
They had each been on the go all morning. Lance was conducting business on the lap top and on the cell phone...Stacey and Gwen were showing Mercedes how to use the email features on the computer and send photos of the baby for when Gwen went back to Ireland, and Stacey was in Mississippi missing her niece.
"Stace, why don’t you and Ford come out with us tonight?" asked Mercedes.
"Are you nuts? I’m staying here with Ellie...this is my chance to spoil her!" Stacey laughed. Lance splashed some water from washing Ellie’s pacifier at the sink in his sister‘s face. "See what I mean? I’d rather spend my evening with your daughter."
"Have you eaten any lunch?" Mercedes asked him. Lance brought over the baby and stood close to Mercedes, shoulder to shoulder.
"Ummm. What do you say, Ellie? Big ole fattening ham sandwich OR nice, healthy salad?" Lance leaned over and pretended his baby girl answered him and he said, "Oh yeah, me too...it’s the ham sandwich for us!" He put Ellie in her baby seat on the counter and buckled her in. "Watch the master chef at work!" Ellie was just about to doze off, and the more Lance went to amuse her with his antics, the more she tried to fight it. But eventually she closed her eyes.
"Great job, bro!" Stacey said in a fit of laughter.
"Hey, I get this reaction from all the women."
"Really?" Mercedes asked mischievously.
Lance bumped Mercedes with his hip, firmly, but not hard. "You behave."
"Does he put you to sleep, Mercedes?" Stacey asked. Lance wondered from that statement if anyone was aware that they were not sharing a bedroom. He was beginning to blush.
Mercedes looked at him, next to her, and grinned this Cheshire cat grin and answered seductively, "No." Then she sighed, "I do, however, get to rest occasionally." Lance put his tongue in his cheek inside of his mouth and shook his head, smiling. He was getting a little color here. Mercedes placed her arm on his shoulder and stuck her tongue out, just a little. His eyebrows wiggled, then he winked.
Poet’s Old World was located on Lakeland Drive. It was a quaint looking estate with turn-of-the-century mahogany wood and white marble counter tops. The special of the house was called a Poet’s Poboy, with shrimp, oysters and catfish lightly breaded and fried. They liked the food here in Lance’s crowd. But, more than anything, Lance’s friends liked the restaurant for it’s Jazz and Blues bands.
Lance, Darren and Wes got there earlier than they expected to. They got the table, a booth in the corner, where they could see when the girls came in. The game had been disappointing, since the Rebels blew a double-digit lead.
Lance had caused a little commotion when he was spotted at the game. He hated not blending in, especially at home. Sometimes he used to pretend he was just another college student there. In another life he might have been. In another life, though, he wouldn’t have met Mercedes that way.
"You needed your glasses to read the scoreboard buddy...that makes you look like someone’s dear old Dad! Ha ha!" said Darren.
Lance elbowed him. "I’m going to put them on in here, too, so I can see when Mercedes walks in. For your info, Darren...I AM someone‘s Dad." Lance chided his friend, good-naturedly.
It was 7:35 when the girls got there. Lance was grinning this toothy grin and Mercedes noticed him right away. Could he look any cuter? That grin, those glasses, that tight sweater...man. I haven’t found a flaw in this guy yet.
Gentle, sweet, kind...what did I ever do in my life to deserve him? I got this feeling last night that I have really been missing out...the kisses were innocent enough. Just lips...but MAN...if the intent was to knock my socks off, he succeeded. Undoubtedly, Lance and I had one HECK of a passionate romance going on...I have a feeling that if I knew what I was missing, I’d probably be crying. Tonight, I am going to take a leap of faith and trust him...completely.
"Hey, Lance. Your lady is looking cute. For a new mama, she is turning a few heads as she comes in." Wes says to a grinning Lance. "I’ll be sitting over there, watching yer back...boy, you behave."
Darren had Kerri’s sass to contend with when they finally made it to the table. "You go to the game and they LOSE? Next time stay home, both of you! You jinxed our team!"
Mercedes and Gwen were followed closely behind by LuAnn. Lance kissed Mercedes’ cheek as she approached the table. "Sorry your team lost, Lance." Mercedes said.
"That’s okay, Darlin’. It’s only a basketball game. What can I order you?"
"Non-alcoholic beer?" Mercedes inquired.
Lance had the wait staff bring him something on tap. Mercedes noticed Lance rubbing his shoulder. She placed her hand over top of Lance’s hand at the table. "How’s your shoulder feeling?" He smiled and shrugged it off. "Sure you’re alright?" She asked. Lance nodded his head and stared into her eyes with a luscious smile.
They had so many laughs between Darren and Kerri’s all-together too embarrassing stories about Lance’s preteen years and Wes chiming in with his two cents from what Lance referred to as "the peanut gallery" near by. Dinner was good, and the music playing from the live band was DARN good! It was close enough for them to know that they should be looking forward to dancing later. Far enough away to be able to hear and converse above the noise.
The group moved on into the Club area where the band was playing. Lance held onto Mercedes’ hand as they moved through the crowd. While Darren and Kerri found a table, Lance pulled Mercedes to the dance floor. "Come on, let’s move to this one." Lance indicated with his head bopping and his come hither look. He was grinning widely.
The song had a slow, smoky beat. They swayed side-to-side seductively with Lance pulling Mercedes arm up and around his left shoulder, holding onto her other hand with his fingers sticking out of his cast. The good arm, and the hand attached to it...slowly slid up and down Mercedes’ side, over her hip, and touching her shoulder blade, then reversing it’s course. As his hand coursed it’s way up and down her side, he occasionally brushed her top up at the waistline and revealed her now flattened tummy. Soon, he was holding her even closer, and his hand slid down to her tush.
Mercedes could smell his masculine fragrance and something about it made her feel warm and tingly. They say the sense of smell is the first way a baby can identify it’s mother...perhaps, thought Mercedes, it’s how a woman can identify her lover. His face rubbed against the skin on her cheek and she felt the stubble on his chin. His lips brushing against her forehead.
There was such an overwhelming sense of his desire in every movement. From the way his hand touched her bottom, to the way his lips caressed her forehead. There was the feel of his hand against her bare skin as her shirt lifted a bit. It sent electricity over her. What it did for Lance was bring him to the brink of an embarrassing disclosure. Even his fingers were trembling slightly as they held hers in the dance.
The chemistry was undeniable.
The song ended. Mercedes was reluctant to stop. She looked into Lance’s eyes and nearly sighed out loud. She held his gaze. Lance went from looking into her eyes, to staring at her lips. It was with great restraint that he put his arm around her to lead her off the dance floor.
"Wait. We should call your parents." Mercedes said.
Lance nodded, he grabbed the cell phone from his jacket and motioned to her that she might be able to find some solitude over near the rest rooms where the pay phones were. It would probably be quieter there. Her fingers intertwined in his, and his eyes reflected his approval. Without a word, he knew, she wanted him to come there with her. As they made their way through the crowd of people they side-stepped around the tables and bodies.
Mercedes squeezed Lance’s hand harder and harder...until they finally made it to a quiet, secluded corner. She turned, with her back to the wall, and Lance walked right up to her with no hesitation as he engulfed her with his impatient lips. He knew now what they both wanted. What they both needed.
He pressed her up against the hard wall and she felt his urgency. Her lips parted and he kissed her deeply. His hand brought her head closer to him, scrunching her hair in the palm of his hand. He tilted his head and vied for more attention from her lips. The arm in the cast pressed up against the side of Mercedes body, slid underneath her shirt and his fingers touched her skin.
By now the music had started up again, and the moans the couple emitted were drowned out by another song with a sensuous beat. His tongue explored her mouth. The wet, juicy sensation aroused a need in Mercedes she couldn’t believe she had ever known before.
Impulsively, she brought her leg around him and drew his body closer into her. Lance physically ached from her actions. There were times in his life that he would verbally abuse his friends for such a display in public, Dang, Get a room already! But, DAMN, he didn’t care. He wanted her so bad. Lance brought his good arm down to hold onto Mercedes’ tush and balance her leg up. The arm he had in the cast he brought up to keep her face close to his. He was sucking and biting on her lips, with a ravenous hunger. His hand squeezed her bottom recklessly, fully aware that they were making a lurid scene. Totally not caring in the least.
As his hand explored her backside, Lance’s lips started kissing her neck. She licked his earlobe and whispered his name. Her hands playing with his hair. His body was pressing against the inside of her thigh. Lance closed his eyes in awe of the pleasure he felt.
"Baby, please." He started to whisper. "Baby, let me take you home." He moaned. "Let me take you ALL the way home."
"Are you prepared to show me what I’ve been missing?" Mercedes cried breathlessly.
Mercedes reached one hand down to touch his tush. She slipped a few fingers into his back pocket. This motion only served to encourage Lance to thrust his pelvic bone more dramatically towards her body. They were at such a heated point that it made them look like they were having sex right there in the corner of the restroom/pay phone area. Both of them realized that they had better cool it. Mercedes couldn’t believe she was behaving this way. She was aware that she, obviously, was not a virgin...but, she had no recollection of ever having made love before.
Lance abruptly stopped, arched his body back and took a deep breath. He exhaled. He smiled at the swollen lips, the red irritated cheeks where his day’s growth of beard had rubbed against her skin, and the disheveled look of her hair. Lance took both hands and placed them on her face. Mercedes smiled as Lance kissed her gently. "Ooo ee." Lance said, chuckling softly.
Mercedes placed her hands on top of his. "Do you normally get this way after a beer, Mr. Bass?" She asked, seductively looking into his eyes. Her chest heaving from the heavy breathing they had been doing.
Lance placed his forehead against hers. He was still breathing hard with irregularity. "I only get this way when I’m close to you, Mrs. Bass. Ooo." He exhaled and smiled.
"Ah Hem." Wes cleared his throat loudly, with his back to the couple. He was watching the crowd. "You two think ya might wanna charge admission?"
Mercedes put her head down on Lance’s chest. Totally embarrassed now. Lance was blushing, as he placed a protective arm around his wife. The two of them shared a cuddle and a good laugh. The evening held great promise.
Lance nuzzled Mercedes’ ear. "Should we take whosever going to our house home, and I can leave the 4x4 with Darren?" Lance paused, "Or would you like to stay here longer...dance some more?" Lance kissed the top of her head as she buried her face in his chest, still embarrassed. "Hmm?"
Mercedes raised her head, and Lance brushed aside the hair from her lovely face. They smiled. "Kiss me." She said. He obliged. It was warm, and comforting with more than a hint of the craving he still had for her. As his lips slowly pulled back, she licked her lips, wiggled her eyebrows and asked. "When would you get your car back?"
Lance focused his attention on her eyes and smiled, "It’s worth it to me, if he keeps the dang car." Then he leaned close and whispers to her, "I just want this night with you." With an open-mouth he kisses her.
"Hey, boy, you promised you’d behave." Wes scolded him. "What would yer Momma say about this?"
Mercedes laughed loudly as Lance answered the big guy, "She’d say, ‘Go for it Lance!’ Then he patted Wes on the back. "We’re gonna be leaving soon, Wes."
"Lance, I think I better use the ladies room." Mercedes said still laughing. "Will you miss me?" She playfully teased.
"Oh, you know that I will, Darlin’!" Lance put his hand around her waist and motioned for LuAnn to come over, "You shouldn’t go into the restroom without LuAnn. Wait a minute for her, k?" Lance hugged his wife with a big ole smile on his face.
One last lingering kiss, then he told her, "I’ll go settle the bill and meet you over at the table, alright darlin’? We can say our good byes to Darren and Kerri then." Mercedes nods her head, and touches his face with her fingertips with a look of longing in her eyes.
Lance watches LuAnn and Mercedes enter the ladies room. Then with a sigh, and a smile, he manages to make his way over to the bar to settle the bill.
"Everything alright, Lance?" The bartender asks.
"Oh Yeah. Definitely." Lance answered with a devilish grin. He signs his American Express receipt. Then a cocktail napkin for the bartender’s cousin. Lance turns to scan the room and notices that Paul had arrived and was sitting next to Darren. "Could y’all bring that guy at my table another beer, too, please? Here." Lance hands them a ten.
As Lance approaches his table, Paul waves at him. "Hey, Bass what up with you and the Misses? Don’t you think you should..." then Darren chimes in, "GET A ROOM!" Lance smirks at the good-natured ribbing.
"OOO..Kay. I deserve that!" Lance replied.
"Well, good to see she hasn’t forgotten everything." Paul commented.
Lance was taken aback. "What do you mean?" Then, he turned to Darren. "Did you tell him?"
Darren looked a little flustered. "Sorry, Bass. That’s okay, isn’t it?"
"No, it isn’t okay." Lance was a little steamed. "Paul, please tell me you didn’t share that tidbit of information with your girlfriend."
"Ah oh. Too late." Paul said sheepishly. "Sorry, Bass. But, I’m sure she won’t say anything."
Lance took a swig from the long neck Darren had ordered for him, but Lance had never gotten to. "Well, I’m just as sure that she would." He chuckled. "But, heck, it’s not like we’re going to run into her, anyway."
"Carrah’s here tonight, Lance. She had to use the ladies’ room." Paul said nonchalantly.
Lance closed his eyes, "Don’t even kid me about this. Are you serious?"
"Well, you were at the bar when we walked in...hey, come on, you guys are always thinking the worse of her..."
"Maybe because whenever we’ve trusted her we have always ended up looking like fools." said Darren, with his voice rising.
"Are you calling ME a fool, Darren?" asked Paul angrily.
Lance stood up, "Paul, I’m sorry, but your girlfriend can be a real bitch sometimes...and I don’t like the uneasy feeling I’ve got in my gut. Where are Kerri and Gwen? Darren, where are they?"
"Dancin’ Bass. Geez, you know I’m sorry."
"Yeah, not as sorry as Carrah’s going to be if she upsets Mercedes tonight." Lance’s eyes scan the dance floor, "THERE. There’s Kerri, go cut in on her, Darren. She can rescue my wife. Kerri knows how Carrah can be."
"She’s been dying for that guy to ask her to dance all night, Bass, she’s not going to like me..."
"Darren, do it."
Grudgingly, Darren cuts in on Kerri. At first she tries to ignore him, but then he says something to her. She looks over at Lance and nods her head.
Darren returns to Lance and says, "She’s so mad right now, Carrah better have accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior."
Lance tried not to be too overly concerned, but still he wrung his hands nervously. "It’s not like Carrah knows anything nasty about me. I mean, Mercedes knows EVERYTHING and she also knows how Carrah can be."
Darren and Lance look at one another.
"KNEW...she once KNEW everything. Shit." Lance says ominously.
Lance and Darren stood outside the restrooms, waiting for the women to come out. "Man, what do they DO in there?" Darren asked.
"They talk, damn it." Lance replied.
Carrah came out first, apparently in a huff. Lance stared her down, and she looked embarrassed. "Hey, Lance. How are y’all feeling?"
"I WAS feeling pretty great." Lance answered, then he made a nod towards the bathroom door and asked, "What’d ya say to my wife, Carrah?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean. Paul told me you guys know she’s lost her memory. Sounds like an opportunity for you to get a little dig in. I swear to God, if you’ve upset her..."
"Don’t be ridiculous. I’d never try to hurt her. After all the two of you’ve been through!? How could you think I’d EVER DO any nasty thing? I’ll admit, at one time I would’ve played some games to try and persuade you to date me..."
"You’ve been there, done that." Lance said. "You made me feel like dirt when we went to the Award show behind Paul’s back. Promise me you wouldn’t try and mess with Mercedes’ head, Carrah. This isn’t Junior High. I have a commitment to my wife and we have a daughter."
"Exactly, I explained that to Mercedes."
"This doesn’t sound good." Darren interjected.
Lance narrowed his eyes at her. "Explained WHAT?"
"How you are committed to the marriage because of Ellie. You might have slipped during your separation, but..."
Darren wanted to take a swing at her himself. "Holy shit, woman!"
Lance then took a look at Darren. "How in the Good Lord’s name did she EVER hear about that?"
"Kerri, might have mentioned it." Darren said, guiltily.
"And...you felt it necessary to mention it to Paul?" Lance felt like crying. He opened his eyes wide and stared at the ceiling. "Don’t say another word." Lance warned Darren with his finger pointed at him. "You did so much for me that week you spent in New York when I was in the hospital. I want to hang onto that, as impossible as that seems right now."
"Y’all just better get something else to talk about from now on." Carrah scooted away before Lance had a chance to change his mind about being benevolent.
LuAnn, came out of the ladies room followed by Kerri and Mercedes. In spite of the red, puffy eyes Mercedes was smiling weakly.
Lance took her hand and Mercedes squeezed it. Thank you, God.
"LuAnn, you and Wes and Mercedes, and I will be leaving. I took care of the tab, now we just have to get the car around. If you wouldn’t mind talking to Wes." LuAnn nodded and crossed over to their table. "Darren." Lance said. Darren left, taking his cue. "Thank you Kerri, for cutting your dance short."
"No prob. You take care of each other now, hear?" Kerri flashed Lance a glance of concern before she followed Darren back to the table.
Mercedes went to follow them, but Lance pulled her back with his hand. He hugged her tightly. "Are you alright?"
She placed her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. "At the moment, I have no idea." she answered him.
"Are WE alright?" he asked.
She lifted her head and tears brimmed in her eyes. Mercedes bit her lip and shook her head, "I have no idea."
This broke Lance’s heart. He drew her head close to his and kissed the side of her face. "Darlin‘, we’ll go home and talk, okay?" She nodded her head.
Lance threw Wes the keys to the 4x4 and told him, "We’ll leave Darren the car. Please explain that he’s in charge of making sure Kerri and Gwen get home safely. We just want to go home now." Not once did he remove his arm from around Mercedes. LuAnn had brought the car around and they left.
At the house, Mercedes went straight to the Nursery without stopping to visit with Lance’s parents in the Living room. Lance unwillingly let her leave his arms as she scurried into the house. Uncharacteristically, Lance questioned LuAnn about the bathroom scene. "How bad was it?"
LuAnn was a woman completely devoted to the business of protection. "If that Carrah girl had used ammo instead of words...we’d probably both be dead."
"Shit." Lance said under his breath.
After his parent’s departure, Lance approached the Nursery cautiously. The door was open. Mercedes was with Ellie, just sitting there cuddling in the shadow of the nightlight.
"Hey." He said quietly.
Mercedes looked up. "hey." She said more quietly still.
"I...don’t know what to say...I...I don’t know what was said..." Lance hesitated, a slight stammer to his speech.
"I can do the math, Lance. I realized some days ago that I was pregnant when we got married. You...ummm, you did the gentlemanly thing for me. It had to have been quite a sacrifice, risky for your career..."
Lance approached her, as she sat in the rocking chair. He knelt by her side. "Now, wait a minute. We planned on getting married before we knew about the baby...we didn’t learn you were pregnant until the day of the marriage ceremony. And NOBODY was happier about this than I was. Not even you. I considered having the baby icing on the cake, Darlin’. I wanted it all."
Mercedes meekly smiled. "And...what about the affairs?"
"What affairs?" Lance asked in bewilderment. "Baby, there has never been another woman in my heart, or in my...bed."
"When we were separated you weren’t...alone."
Lance placed his hand on her arm. "When we were separated I was VERY much alone. There was an incident, and I realize that this is just a technicality but we didn’t have intercourse...I was unaware of your reasons for leaving me. I drank too much, and...it wasn’t my finest hour by any means." Lance took a deep breath. "It was something we had talked about the very same night I found you in Ireland. I never kept that from you."
Mercedes began to cry. Lance put his head against hers and his arm around her trembling shoulders. "How am I suppose to know? If this is what your friend can do to me...how can I expect to handle the fans that hate my guts? I’m not prepared for this, Lance. I want to leave with Gwen tomorrow. Maybe it‘d be better to live in Ireland with Ellie. Better for Ellie, better for me and better for you."
"PLEASE don’t say that. That’s not a solution! Carrah is my friend’s girlfriend, she’s not a friend of mine. I would’ve warned you about Carrah, but I didn’t know she was going to be there. She has her ulterior motives."
Lance proceeded carefully, "And yes, Mercedes, I won’t lie to you, there will be people with their own agendas spreading lies or rumors to hurt us or tear us apart...GOD! It’s the damn nature of the beast, Mercedes, and it stinks! This life in *N SYNC has given me so much. And it’s taken so much. Please don’t let it take you from me. And, Lord, don’t let it leave us torn apart when we should be a family together. THAT would NOT be better for me, or Ellie...and Mercedes, I don‘t believe it would be better for you either."
"I know you don’t remember, but you weren’t better off in Ireland. You were lonely and unhappy when we were apart."
Mercedes rubbed her runny nose with her knuckles. "You don’t understand. I am at a complete loss here! There are people in your life that know more about my life with you than I do. Heck, Lance there are people on the internet that know more about us than I do!" She cried all over again. "Have you ever seen what they say about your hair?"
That seemed like such a funny question coming out of this sobbing face. "My hair?" Lance fought the urge to smile. "I don’t give a crap what people think about my HAIR, Darlin’!" He kept his hand on her shoulder and grabbed a tissue for her near the changing table.
"Thank you." Mercedes said as he handed the tissue to her. "They said you got rid of your blonde spikes because having your hair darker made you look older and...they call me a "Mrs. Robinson", Lance! Isn’t that like an old 1960’s movie with Anne Bancroft ? Dustin Hoffman? Am I THAT much older than you?"
Lance placed his face against the side of her head again and hugged her lovingly. "None of it is true, Mercedes. I didn’t change my hair because I thought it would make me look older. You are only 6 years older than I am."
"I am?" Mercedes started crying harder.
"Darlin’ that isn’t much." Lance tenderly touched her cheek with his fingertips, then his lips.
"No, it’s not THAT. It’s that I don’t even remember our ages, what you looked like when your hair had the blonde streaks. I don’t remember ANYTHING about you...or us. Our first date, or first kiss! When I went on a walk yesterday, Lance there are people trying to take photos of Ellie. One photographer went by in a car, and one hid in the bushes across from the house!" Mercedes looked at Lance with the scared look of a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car.
She added definitively, "I am not prepared to handle this! I don’t know if I can deal with this."
"It’s tough enough that you have to deal with your memory loss...and then to have to deal with all this scrutiny from fans and media, too, isn’t right. But, running away from me isn’t a solution. We can‘t allow that to be considered an option, Darlin‘!" Lance protectively placed his arm around her. "Please hang tight with me. Mercedes...I beg you...don’t leave me."
"Lance. I have no idea how I ever thought I could marry you and keep it all together."
In spite of her mother’s crying, Ellie was fast asleep in Mercedes’ arms. Lance lifted her from Mercedes’ arms and placed their daughter back in the crib. Then, as he finished placing the monitors on the baby, he turned and...watched Mercedes leave the room.
Lance stared at his child innocently sleeping in the crib. He heard the door close between Mercedes and himself. He looked up to heaven, and smacked his head with the palms of his hands. God, forgive me...but WHY? Every time I’ve found happiness in this relationship something has been thrown across our path. We stumble and fall...pick ourselves back up and then something else comes our way.
Well, I’m not going to let this happen. We belong to one another.
Lance approached the Master bedroom door. He opened it and stood there gazing upon her. She had her nightgown on and she was turning down her sheets.
Mercedes was startled. The spark of longing was still in her eyes, but there was anxiety there as well. Lance pulled off his sweater and steadied himself with his hand on the armoire as he removed his shoes. Mercedes tilted her head. No smile, just an intensity. A mixture of that uncertainty and longing. Lance began to bridge the distance between them. As his bare feet walked over the floor towards her, he threw his sweater across to the opposite side of the bedroom.
Mercedes was gathered up in Lance’s arms like a bunch of wildflowers. He breathed her in and lifted her up. As his kisses melted her, her body knew what her mind did not recall. She wrapped herself up around him and drew her life from his strength. He was a man starving for the charms of his woman. The nightgown was almost torn as he ached to reach her sweetness. Tearing the straps of the outfit down and off her shoulders...his lips and mouth instantly went to work. When he wasn’t licking or kissing her breasts, his head rubbed against her...he stubble on his chin causing her nipples to harden.
She felt him swollen and hard against her. Lance laid her down on the bed.The bed he sought to reclaim. Then he removed his pants, leaving him standing in his boxers, and he laid next to her.` His hand roamed over her mountains and valleys. He pulled the skirt of the nightgown up, and stretched his fingers down to her clitoris. Mercedes moaned out. He pulled off her underwear. Feeling the soft skin of her inner thighs. Lance bit her earlobe and licked her neck. Fondling her breasts. Mercedes encouraged him as she grabbed his tush and pulled him closer as he entered her. The thrusts were not gentle, he took her. He took all of her sweet skin in his mouth and he swallowed her whole. Then, he buried himself deep within her, and at the point of ejaculation he called her name.
She held onto him, her nails digging into his back. When she reached her hands up and pulled on his hair, he knew. The very next thing she did was place those beautiful fingers of hers in her mouth, to stifle her moans. The other arm up, in a surrender...surrendering herself, her love, this gift of her body. Leaving herself totally, completely, exposed to him. Trusting him with all of herself.
The moment she climaxed it released a groan, a painful explosion. Lance positioned his arm around her waist, as they laid on their sides, and held her head cradled in the crock of his cast. Her breasts against his chest. Hearts beating wildly. Lance gave her time to catch her breath and placed gentle kisses on her shoulders and face to let her know how precious she was to him. Too precious to ever bear parting with her.
"Baby. I love you. If you left me again, I would die."
Lance knew he didn’t want this night to ever end. Mercedes was still reeling from her orgasm and rubbing herself against him. He looked into her eyes. The half-closed, glazed over look of satisfaction.
"You promised...all night long...don’t stop now." She broke out into an amazing smile.
I know your eyes in the morning sun
I feel you touch me in the pouring rain
And the moment that you wander far from me
I wanna feel you in my arms again
And you come to me on a summer breeze
Keep me warm in your love and then softly leave
And it’s me you need to show
How deep is your love
I really need to learn
‘cause we’re living in a world of fools
Breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me
I believe in you
You know the door to my very soul
You’re the light in my deepest, darkest hour
You’re my savior when I fall
And you may not think
I care for you
When you know down inside
That I really do
And it’s me you need to show
"How deep is your love...how deep is your love I really need to learn..." Lance sang softly to Ellie in the early morning hours of dawn. Changing her diaper and kissing her belly. He swaddled her in her blanket and gazed upon her as she sucked on her fist.
He brought her into the Master bedroom and to the waiting arms of her drowsy mother still laying in bed. "Here’s your daughter, Momma." Lance whispered happily. He kissed Mercedes’ forehead and laid down beside the two of them.
"I want to do whatever it takes to get your memory back, Mercedes." Lance said as they lay there peacefully. His gentle hand caressing his wife’s face, his child’s head.
"Lance, I may never be able to share in those memories with you. How we first came to realize that we loved one another. The places we visited, the elevators and park benches we’ve known..." Mercedes gave a pensive smile with the last remark. Then, she paused.
"Where we were when you first told me you loved me." Mercedes said tearfully, and Lance closed his eyes sadly.
"But, that doesn’t mean that I haven’t been able to comprehend our love. I know of it from the way you are with our Ellie. From the way you’ve treated me with kindness. From the way, I absolutely melt whenever we look at one another." Through the sadness, Lance found hope. Mercedes’ words actually made him smile inside. "This is the most precious moment of my life. Here and now."
"What matters...is that I know I love you, too, Lance." Mercedes touched his cheek with her hand, which Lance then kissed tenderly.
