Lance sat on the couch of the tour bus as they headed to their next show. He couldn't seem to think of anything else but Ryan. Lance always found himself drifting off, and the subject was always the past. It seemed as though every five minutes Lance would check his cell phone just to make sure the phone was on.
Suddenly, Lance's hope began to rise as he felt the vibration of his cell phone. He quickly pulled it out of the case and checked the caller ID. His shoulders shank as he read "Anne Jamison." There was no way that he was talking to that back stabbing bitch. He put the phone back into the case and didn't think another thought about her.
"Hey Lance!" Joey called strolling into the main part of the bus. "Did Ryan call back yet?"
Lance shook his head slowly and was almost tempted to call again.
"Maybe she didn't go home...perhaps she went home to her family. Give it some time."
Lance looked up at Joey and smiled. He appreciated Joey's concern, but he really just wanted to be alone with his thoughts.
"Yea, thanks Joe."
Joey smiled and hopped away, a smile plastered on his face. Lance leaned back into the soft cushions and closed his eyes, relaxing.
Lance walked around, everything was red surrounding him. The walls, the floor, the sky. He didn't think anything of it. It was just another ordinary day where he was. Lance kept on walking, humming a familiar tune in his head. Lance stopped dead in his tracks when a dusty haze, kind of like a patch of fog stood in his path. Lance cocked his head to the right to try and get a better glance of the object in front of him.
Lance slowly took a step back as the haze transformed in to a body. He squinted as it started to take shape.
"Ryan?"
Lance smiled when the formation was complete and Ryan stood, about two feet in front of him. Lance started to move forward but abruptly stopped as Ryan held out her right arm, telling him to stop where he was.
"Ryan? What…what's wrong?"
Ryan didn't say a word. It made Lance wonder, there was something different about her. He was only able to see one particular side of her and he wasn't sure why that was. Ryan let her head fall, her chin resting up against her lower neck.
"Lance…"
Lance swallowed at the coldness of her tone. "Ryan?"
"I need to tell you something Lance…"
Lance nodded his dead, giving her his full attention.
"Something happened-"
Lance's eyes shot open as the bus rolled to a stop. Lance yawned and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He pushed himself off the couch and stretched his tired muscles. Lance relaxed his muscles and stepped off of the bus as he was welcomed by sunlight. His eyes adjusted to the change of light. Lance itched his head as he walked over to Johnny who just hopped off of bus one.
"Why are we stopping?" Lance knew very well that this was an unscheduled stop and he became curious.
Johnny didn't say a word. He looked up at lance with pain in his eyes. Lance knew then that something was wrong. Johnny walked over towards the rest of the crew.
"May I have your attention please? I need to tell everyone some important news!"
Everyone started to crowd around Johnny as they waited for him to tell everyone the anxious news. Johnny's eyes started to water as he began to speak.
"Crew…staff…members of JIVE…JC…Justin…Chris…Lance…Joey…" Johnny sniffed a few times before continuing. "I have some sad news to tell you all."
Right then and there Lance felt like he was going to be sick. He knew something was terribly wrong.
"Someone we haven't known very long, but grew to love has pasted away…I-I…" Johnny stopped as he started to lose himself to his emotions. He wiped a fallen tear from his cheek and pushed himself to continue. "I-I…I'm s-sorry to say…that…oh God…Ryan Joleigh has taken her life."
The response of over most of the crowd was silence. You could hear the occasional sharp inhale of shock.
"Oh... MY GOD…" Johnny turned to JC who was covering his mouth with his hand, "How?"
Johnny closed his eyes; it was going to be tough telling them what Ryan went through.
"She umm…" He couldn't do it, he just couldn't.
He swallowed sharply and lifted his right up to his head and pointed his index finger to his head, his thumb in the air. Showing that she shot herself in the head.
Out of nowhere someone yelled, "NO!" and ran off in the opposite direction of everyone else.
"LANCE! NO!" JC ran after him. Johnny let his head fall, along with tears. "Lance! STOP!" JC ran, trying to catch up with his friend, "Running away from this is NOT going to help you!"
With that Lance stopped dead in his tracks. Due to the unexpected stop, JC ran right into Lance letting out a little "oof."
Lance turned around, his face filled with fright and sadness. His beautiful green eyes were not what they use to be. There was no sparkle in them, no life at all. It was all taken out of them.
"I-I…I killed her JC."
JC shook his head, "NO, no you didn't! Don't tell yourself that nor blame yourself…do you hear me?" JC put both of his heads on Lance's shoulders.
"But if it wasn't for me…then she'd still be alive!" Lance's knees began to shake, becoming weak they fell onto the pavement. "Why did she do it? WHY did I do it? Oh JC!" Lance let his emotions take over.
"Lance, don't EVER blame yourself! NO was really understands why people do this to themselves. Ryan probably wasn't a strong willed person. Every was having a big impact in her life and maybe she couldn't handle it." JC sighed before he continued; " Ryan might have saw no other way out…but to do what she did. It's NOT your fault…We have to respect what she did…she was unhappy. Even though things would have gotten better…maybe she couldn't see that. At least she'll be at ease where she's at now."
Lance's watery, red eyes looked up from the pavement. He nodded and wiped his nose with his sleeve.
"I miss her JC."
"Me too Lance…me too."
