(The Next Day)
"OK, where do I go after I reach Freeman Road?" Lance held onto his cell phone tightly as he walked down a crowded street. He pulled his baseball cap closer to his face as two girls glared at him curiously.
'I don't like this…'
"You want to go straight down until you get to Buckingham and then turn left, go down I think it was about two blocks then you'll see the cemetery…you can't miss it."
Lance nodded his head at reach statement Justin listed. Lance's eyes kept alert the whole walk there, he didn't like the feeling of him not know where he was at. He was usually wasn't allowed to go places without someone with him.
"All right, I see it…Thanks Justin. I appreciate it."
"No problem bro, take your time."
They said their good-byes and Lance put the cell phone away in its case. He kept on walking, and turned into the cemetery. Lance looked around, not quite sure of where the tombstone would be. He walked forward, following a path that led towards the back.
To him, most burials seemed to go around age. As he approached the middle, something told him to turn to his left. When he did, he faced turned soft. In the back of the row of graves there stood a new tombstone.
Lance walked onto the grass and headed for the newer tombstone. His chin started to tremble as he read the printing, "R.I.P. Ryan Haley Joleigh Born: July 20, 1979 Died: May 23, 2000"
"Oh Ryan…" Lance walked up to the grave and ran this hand against the bumpy texture.
He looked down at the fresh dirt, where the casket was now sixth feet under. He sniffed, trying to hold back his emotions. He leaned himself down so that he was kneeling. He sniffed again and exhaled slowly.
"Hi Ryan…its me…Lance." Lance looked around, to see if anyone was around him. "I brought you something…" Lance pulled from his back pant pocket a dozen daisies. "I know that you like this kind. But I'm sure that you already had enough…but oh well."
Lance sighed and just stared at the grave for a few minutes. He looked up at the cloudy sky as he felt tears welling up in his eyes. Lance swallowed hard and placed the flowers on the fresh soil.
"I'm so sorry Ryan! I wish you were still here. I miss you, I'm sorry that I did all that horrible stuff to you. Please, forgive me for the shit I put you through! I never meant to hurt you…I…I never…I just don't know anymore."
Lance looked back up at the sky, hoping to get a glance of her. He knew that wasn't possible…but he just prayed it would.
"Ryan…I promise that every time that we're in Albany I'll visit you. Like when we're here for a tour, or just because I want to see you." Lance sighed before he continued, "I don't know what to say…I guess I still don't believe that your really gone…but I guess that you aren't. You'll always be in my heart I know that for sure."
Lance wiped a tear falling from his eye. "You'll always be apart of me Ryan. Even though you're not going to be here physically, you'll be here in spirit. You'll be in my spirit."
Lance pushed on his right knee, standing up, looking down at where he just was.
"You better have a good listening ability Ryan, cause when I visit you, I'm going to talk your ear off."
Lance started to walk away, but he abruptly stopped in his tracks and turned his head. The sparkle was now back in his eyes, "I love you kiddo…please, watch over us."
With that Lance blew a kiss to the grave and turned back around, heading towards the exit. Lance sighed, feeling that a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Lance jumped when he felt his cell phone ringing. He pulled it out and brought it up to his ear.
"Hello?"
"Yo, Feel better?"
"Yeah…I guess that I do…wait? How did you know that I just got done talking to her?"
The line was silent…Lance rolled his eyes, "Justin…answer me…"
"So, are you heading home?"
"Justin?"
"How's the weather?"
Lance laughed lightly, "You know I get annoyed when no one listens to me! Justin…"
"I don't know nothin! I just made a good assumption of when you'd be done!"
Lance could hear the uncertainty in his voice.
"OK, whatever man…Look, I'm headin home, I'm gonna try and get a flight in the next couple hours…and um Justin, get out of the bush…"
Justin walked out of the big green bush. "How'd you know?"
Lance laughed and walked right passed him. "Next time that you plan to come with me…you might want to hind those curls…half of them were sticking out of the bush."
Justin just stared at Lance. "Riiggghht."
"But Thanks for coming Justin, I appreciate it. Come on, let's go home…"
(On the plane)
"Hey Lance?"
Lance opened his eyes and turned his head to Justin's. "Yeah?"
"Do you feel better?"
"With seeing Ryan?" Justin nodded his head. "Yeah, I guess that I do…but I'll never forget her, she's a part of me now, and she'll never leave. I made a promise to her…"
"You know that we'll always visit her…We all miss her…"
Lance leaned his head back into the cushioning of the seat he was in.
"The thing I don't understand is how someone can take their life…it's a scary thought…" Lance turned to Justin and patted his shoulder, "Yeah, it is…but we have to respect what she did and most of all, respect her decision…" Lance looked out the window of his flight, seeing the world pass by him at such a tremendous speed.
'Ryan, if you're out there…remember that we love you and always will, I'll live my life to the fullest, just for you. You were a great person Ryan, we all know that…I'm sorry that your no longer on earth. I'm sure wherever you are that you're just as happy as you'd be down here with us. I'm most grateful that you came to JIVE…and I'm most grateful for being to meet someone like you. You brought so much to my life, though it might not seem like it…you've put a vast impact in my life, and I'm most thankful for that. Take care Ryan…'
Lance closed his eyes, taking in the relaxation of the flight. He was no longer afraid. A smile spread across his face allowing him to be at ease with himself, and it was all thanks to Ryan.
