Alyssa pushed a curl away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. She let out a steadied sigh following Drew through the maze of hallways in the backstage area. When they found the right door he smiled at her, going back down the direction they had come from. She swallowed hard knocking softly on the door. It took a few moments but the door swung open.
"Hi, I'm Alyssa Taylor," Alyssa's voice was shaky as she shifted her weight on her feet, chewing on her lip nervously.
"Ahh, Ive heard so much about you, I'm Britney, come in," Her smile was warm and genuine as she gestured Alyssa inside the spacious dressing room. Alyssa's footing was slow, her feet light against the plush carpet. The door slowly creaked closed behind her.
"I just wanted to give you the proper welcoming. We might not get to see each other much, but if you have any problems please come to me. I won't mind at all. I know what you must feel like right now. Don't worry hunny I was in your position before too," She smiled patting her arm comfortingly.
Alyssa fell backwards into the cushion of the soft bed. her thoughts were heavy, and as hard as she tried she couldnt make sense of them. Either she saw a chance of a lifetime, or lonliness.. pure and demening lonliness.
Although she knew what a great career move this was and how much it could better her in the future she still couldnt get past the funk that she had built around herself. She was beyond nerrvous to perform. Plus, she was supposed to shoot her first video in a few days. She was lonlier han she had felt in a long time. It was her first night away, yet she felt like she had been gone forever. She hadnt talked to any of the guys since she got on the plane early that morning. And that alone, was weighing hard on her mind and heart.
She glanced at her cell phone on the nightstand. She pondered the thought before picking it up. Balancing it in her palm,and tossing it to the other hand she started at it. She wanted to call him..more than anything. Yet, she was scared too. Scared that he would be mad, or upset, or more than anything that he wouldnt want to talk to her. She had replayed the words so many times in her head, she didn't know how she could have been so cold.
"I love you."
"I know Justin, I know."
She squeezed her eyes tightly together slowly dialing the number. Her hand gripped the phone tight against her ear. Her throat seemed completly dry, her breathing beginning to get uneasy. It came as a shock to her, and she dint know why when his recording picked it up. She sighed heavily listening to his smooth voice through the phone.
"Ummm... hey Justin, it's me. There was something kind of important I needed to tell you, but I guees it can wait. I'll talk to you later..." Alyssa clicked off the phone tossing it onto her pillow. Her heart sank when she realized that already, her only bit of hope had fallen through. Justin had told her so many times that they would always have the cell phones... so much for that.
Slowly peeling back the blankets she crawled into bed, clicking off the lamp. She could still see the tiny light from her cell phone glowing beside her. She touched the keypad lightly with her fingertips, hoping one last time that Justin wasn't upset with her.
Closing her eyes, she laced her fingers together, tilting her head downward. The words were soft against her lips, flowing straight from the pit of emotions whirling inside of her.
"Lord Jesus, thank you so much for all of the opportunities you have given me. Please forgive me for all my sins and give me strength to be a better person. Help me make sense of the things in my life Lord, and deep in my heart I know that everything that is happening is for a reason. Please watch over all the ones I love Lord, and I help my soul stretch the miles between us. Help Justin understand that although I cant say it, how much I care for him. In your name I pray, Amen."
