Lance seemed to collapse on top of Elaine and his body was racked with sobs and all he could do was moan, "Oh God, no, not again." Finally, he pulled himself up and crawled down to the other end of the couch. Elaine hunted frantically for the remote to turn off the video. 'Oh God, what have I done' thought Elaine. "Oh God, forgive me for doing this to him," she prayed.
She turned back to the couch and gasped at the site before her. There was Lance in a fetal position sobbing. She ran to the couch and fell down on the floor beside him. "Oh God, Lance, I am so sorry. Oh Baby, I am so sorry for doing this to you," she cried with sobs shaking her as much as his were shaking his body.
Lance looked at her, "Why? Where did you get that?"
"It was in my presents from the birthday party. There was this card with it," Elaine said as she picked it up from the floor where it had fallen, again.
He looked at the card and swore, "Will that BITCH ever be out of my life? What in the world were you doing Elaine? Trying to pull a Vivica?"
This ripped into Elaine and tears fell so fast she couldn't believe it. "I didn't want to lose you," she cried as she ran from the room and soon Lance heard the bedroom door SLAM. He sat in the dark room lit only by the light of the television.
When Elaine got to her room, she called Chris and Dani answered the phone and was immediately concerned with Elaine's state of mind. "Honey, you hold on, Chris and I will be right there. My Mom is here to watch the kids. See you in a few." Elaine hung up and crawled into the middle of the bed and sobbed uncontrollably.
Meanwhile, downstairs, Lance stared at the screen of the TV. That was where Dani and Chris found him when they arrived ten minutes later. Chris and Dani had decided on the way over that he would talk to Lance and she would talk to Elaine and then they would confer and try and determine what was wrong.
Chris did not like the way Lance was looking. There was a mixture of fear and anger in his eyes and they were red from crying. "Hey man, what's going on?" Chris asked calmly.
Lance grabbed the remote and turned the video on. "THAT is what's going on. Just a little present for Elaine from the BITCH." He spit the name like something bitter. Chris sat on the couch and he and Lance talked a while.
Meanwhile upstairs, Elaine was crying her heart out to Dani. She told her everything about what she had tried to do and all. When she was done, she felt so embarrassed that she had allowed THAT woman do that to her. She told Dani what Lance had said to her and it shocked her. "I can't imagine him being hurtful to you, of all people."
"I disappointed him, Dani. I was willing to break my vow because of that card and video. I let him down. How could he love me now? Vivica was right. How can a GIRL love a MAN the way he needs to be loved?" Elaine looked at Dani with so much hurt in her eyes.
"A young woman can love a man just the way you have been loving Lance, truthfully and honestly. Don't ever change the way you are Elaine."
They talked for a while longer and then Dani had Elaine lay down with a cool cloth on her eyes to take some of the puffiness down from her crying. She went downstairs and slipped to the door of the family room. Chris was talking with Lance still, so she motioned that she would be in the kitchen.
Chris finished his talk with Lance and he had him to lay back on the couch and close his eyes to rest them. They were so red and puffy. He slipped into the kitchen and grabbed Dani and hugged her close. "Is it as bad as it looks from my end?" he asked.
"I don't know, you tell me," she countered. They grabbed something to drink and sat at the breakfast table to compare notes. When they were done sharing information, they both shook their heads at each other. "Obviously they reacted to the raw emotion of the moment and Elaine being as naive as she is, allowed that sorry excuse for a woman to shatter her self confidence."
"Lance is blown away. Until now he really had no conscious memory of what Vivica had done to him, but there it was for him in living color. We thought all the tapes had been destroyed. And for him to know that Elaine saw it is more than he can handle. If he could get his hands on Vivica right now, he could kill her and not bat an eye doing it. That is how angry he is."
"Then why did he say what he did to Elaine?" Dani asked.
"What was that?"
"He asked her what she was trying to pull, a Vivica?"
"Oh that had to hurt her. He didn't say anything about that, of course he hasn't been making much sense about a lot of stuff."
"That is the first thing they have to resolve, or they will never get back what they had," advised Dani. "Let's see if he remembers saying it."
They both headed to the family room and talked to Lance and told him what was going on. Dani lit into him pretty good to get him focused on what he needed to do. "I said that to her? She will never forgive me for that. I don't know that I can forgive myself."
Dani stayed with Lance and Chris went up to talk to Elaine. They figured between them, they could get things straightened out. Chris found Elaine standing on the balcony looking out to the garden. She heard Chris behind her, "We were going to have the wedding in the garden. A December wedding in the garden. It would have been beautiful," she sobbed.
Chris went and put his arms around her and held her tight. "Now who said the wedding was off? Lance certainly hasn't called it off. Are you calling it off?" he teased.
Dani and Chris worked their magic and finally had the two sweethearts together, side by side in the family room. Chris did his pacing bit. Then he stopped and looked at the two of them. "Lance, Elaine, look at me please. Lance, do you love Elaine?"
Lance looked at Elaine who was still shaking from her sobs. He looked back at Chris and shook his head yes.
"That won't do Lance. Do you still love Elaine? Say it."
Lance looked at Elaine again and she turned to look at him. There was so much hurt there and he had caused it. He looked directly into her eyes and said, "I love her more than my own life." Tears ran down her face and he reached to brush them away.
Chris continued and looked at Elaine. "Do you still love Lance?"
Elaine looked at Lance. "I'd sacrifice myself for him. I love him that much."
Dani and Chris gave each other the thumbs up. "Then you two need to talk. Dani and I are going to leave so you can do just that. But, a word of advise from an old married couple. When things get tough or out of hand, DON'T pull apart, pull together. Lean on one another. There is NO weakness in doing that, only strength.
I remember one of your Bible studies, Elaine. You talked about how Satan likes to have us feel like we are alone in the world to make us feel weak. Just like the great Redwoods, if you have one standing alone in the forest, a wind can topple it. But in a group of others, they can withstand hurricane force winds. Satan wants to tear you two apart because you are a mighty force to be dealt with. He's using his girlfriend, Vivica, to do it. DON'T give her the advantage. You two belong together, there is NO DOUBT in my mind. You are taking a stand for something, stick to it."
Chris and Dani started to leave and Dani turned to the couple. "In case you don't know it. We love you guys."
When Chris was to the door, Elaine spoke to him. "It's nice to know that my efforts with the Bible studies were appreciated and not wasted. Thank you Chris and Dani."
Dani and Chris both threw kisses their way and left. Lance and Elaine looked at one another. They sat there in silence. Elaine closed her eyes and prayed for God to forgive her and that Lance would forgive her. When she opened them, Lance was on his knees in front of her.
"I have prayed that God will forgive me and now I am on my knees praying for your forgiveness for the horrible things I said to you. Honey, there is no way in this world you could ever be like her. I was just so shocked to finally see that horrible tape. Before, it was a distant memory or something, suddenly, I was hit with the brutal reality of what I had been forced to do. And I...I am so sorry you had to see it. I still don't know why you did what you did though?" he asked pensively.
Elaine looked at her hands in her lap. She was almost embarrassed to look at him. "I was afraid of losing you. I was afraid I couldn't make you happy. I thought what if we got married and then I couldn't please you the way you need to be, then, you would feel you had made a mistake. Her card said not to send a girl to do..."
"Stop it right there!" Elaine almost jumped out of her skin. "You don't listen to what that snake has to say. You listen to me right here. I love you and only you. I don't 'want' anyone else but you. I told you this would be like my first time too, because this will be real and pure with you." He pulled her into his arms. She slipped onto the floor on her knees with him.
"Sugar Bear, I can't even imagine being with someone else. And Baby, please, please don't take offense to what I'm about to say, but if tonight is any indication of what lies ahead for us, I'm gonna need to rest for a week before the honeymoon," Lance said with an embarrassed grin on his face that looked like he had been in the sun all day.
Elaine turned bright red, herself. "I was just so afraid of losing you. I would do whatever it takes to be with you for the rest of my life. I love you, too, Lance. Please forgive me for being weak and not trusting in your love more. Please forgive me?"
Lance wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "Only if you'll forgive me, okay?"
"Consider it done," she smiled as she gave him a quick kiss, and they just held onto one another.
The next few weeks flew by with preparations for school for the girls, plans for the wedding being put in motion and new things happening with the group.
Vivica was arraigned and found mentally and criminally insane by every doctor who had contact with her. She freaked out even some hard core veteran doctors. She was immediately put in a facility for the criminally insane and would spend the rest of her days there.
The Anniversary Tour had been such a huge success. People wanted more. HBO wanted to do yet another special with them. There was the possibility of another movie for them and their individual business endeavors were through the roof. Life for *N SYNC was good.
Dani's pregnancy was coming along beautifully and there was even talk that the baby was a BOY. Chris was bouncing off the walls needless to say. He loved his girls, but this boy was very special. His comment to Elaine once was that he felt he had accomplished his ultimate goal of a family that would go on. The Kirkpatricks would not die out with him.
Elaine never ceased to be amazed at Chris's insight and his wisdom. Sure he acted like a clown from time to time, even acted like more of a kid than his own kids, but he had a heart that was loyal and true.
Joey and Kelly were pushing for a Valentine wedding and everyone was excited for them. Their only debate was whether to fly family in from New York or have the wedding in New York. At this point, they were leaning toward flying the family in because Dani would either be already delivered or close to it.
JC and Rickii and Justin and Lynne were making strides in their respective relationships. Each day they grew closer. School was really exciting for them and UCF was very accommodating to their crazy schedules. They had quickly been swept up into the frenzy of *NSync and had developed strong positions with the tour.
It wasn't even Halloween and Elaine had just about everything planned for the wedding. They had finally decided on the style of the dresses to help out with Dani's pregnancy. Empire gowns was the unanimous decision made for that, so all they had to do was wait for them to be made and Dani was working on that through their company.
The wedding would be in the part of the garden where Lance had planted the lavender roses. They would put up a large white tent in such a way that the rose bushes would be the backdrop for the altar. The only flowers that would be needed would be her bouquet and the attendants and the boutonnieres for the guys. It was going to be simple and beautiful.
Lance kept asking her if she was sure this was what she wanted. Was she sure she didn't want a big church wedding and a lot more fanfare? Her comment to him was, "Baby, all I want is my man and my roses and a preacher to make it legal." He had just been completely amazed by her not wanting a great big elaborate wedding.
They had done their reading assignment from Dr. Cobb and even had made an appointment with the doctor to discuss some things. When they were through with that appointment, they went to see Susie to get their final release from treatment and to hand deliver her invitation and the ones to the nurses station nurses who had been so helpful.
Susie looked them both over and was very pleased with their progress and saw no reason to have them come back. "Well, I guess this means you're both free to go off and get married and be happy for the rest of your lives. You two better be happy or you're going to have me to answer to."
"We plan on being deliriously happy and here is your personally delivered invitation." Elaine handed her the lavender envelope and gave her a hug. She looked Susie in the eye and smiled, "You're the next best thing to a Mom that I have and I could not get married without you there. Mom wants you there, too. She told me to give an extra plea to arrange your schedule so you could be there. We know you usually work Christmas Eve and Day so others can be with their families, but, we want to be your family, Susie. It wouldn't be a celebration without you there."
Susie stood there with tears in her eyes and just shook her head. "I'll see what I can do. Speaking of your Mom, how is she? I haven't heard from her in a while."
"She's not been feeling well. Lance and I are trying to get her to move out to the house. Maybe you can help me persuade her to. She'll listen to you, okay?"
"I promise, I will get in touch with her and see what's going on. Has she been sick with a bug or something?"
"No, just tired all the time. I think she's sneaking work home and working till all hours. If I have her at the house, she can't do that."
"Good idea. I'll see what I can do. You two better get moving. I'll talk to you later."
As soon as Elaine and Lance had left, Susie went to her phone and called Gwen's office. Gwen answered and all she heard was "Okay girlfriend, what is up with you?"
Lance and Elaine went by the nurse's station to drop off the invitations and say hi. Everyone was so glad to see them and glad to hear they had been released. They left to run errands on the way home.
It was one of Lance's rare days off and he wanted to get home to change and take Elaine out for the evening. He had been very mysterious about their outing ever since he had mentioned it to her. Lance had told Elaine to wear something nice, but not dressy, so she had decided on the good old reliable black dress that was good for any occasion.
When they got home, they put things away and then went to their rooms to shower and change. Lance was downstairs waiting when Elaine came down. She was a vision of loveliness. He had tried to imagine what she was going to look like as a bride, now all he had to do was imagine a white dress and veil. "You are incredibly beautiful," gushed Lance. "I am the luckiest man on the face of this earth."
Elaine walked to him and gave him a big hug. "Well, you're lookin' pretty stylin' yourself, Lancelot. I'm pretty lucky myself. Now where are we going?"
"You'll find out when we get there. Do you mind if we go in the 4Runner instead of taking your car?"
"Sure it's okay. Let's go." They headed to the garage and when Lance opened the door for her, he pulled a blindfold out of the seat. "What is that for?" she questioned.
"Well, let's just say this is a surprise for you more than me. Let me tie this on." Lance was careful not to mess her hair as he tied the blindfold on. "Are you sure you can't see?"
"I'm sure. Lance...I'm trusting you," was all Elaine said.
"I know, Baby and I promise you won't be sorry. By the way...I trust you, too." He leaned and gave her a kiss. The unexpectedness of it was really nice.
They drove for some time. Elaine tried to remember turns and sounds so she could figure where they were going. Nothing. She was beginning to think that Lance was going in circles to confuse her. After what seemed like forever, they came to a stop. She started to remove the blindfold but Lance told her no, not yet. He got out and came around to help her out of the 4Runner. As they walked along, he guided her over things and up steps. She felt like she was walking on a wooden porch or floor.
There was the creaking of the hinge on a door as it was being opened. She knew she had heard it before but couldn't remember. He told her to step up and he led her inside. Suddenly, they stopped and it felt like they were in a large area, but it was cozy feeling. "Okay, are you ready?" asked Lance.
"As ready as I'll ever be Lancelot." She felt him working on the knot in the blindfold tie. Suddenly, there was a great bright light and she was standing in a room full of people, all their very close and intimate friends. "What is going on?"
"Well, missy, we wanted to throw you guys a proper engagement party," said Johnny Wright and he and his wife gave them each a hug. "The guys will be going downstairs and you ladies will have the run of the main floor."
It finally registered with Elaine that they were at the *N SYNC compound. The guys all started filtering downstairs and the girls led Elaine into a sitting area. There was a big table against the wall with all sorts of packages on it. Dani and Ms. Wright got everyone seated and then Dani took over.
"Okay Elaine, you have this bad habit of making announcements and then there is a lot of drama. We have roughly six weeks until the wedding and we have got to get you ready to marry this hunk you are engaged to. This is your first official engagement/bridal shower. Lance is getting his male version downstairs. Together, we are going to get you guys set." Everyone cheered.
"Dani, if you're in charge, I'm in trouble," she laughed. "Why do I have the feeling something more is up?"
Everyone looked at each other and laughed together. "Have no idea why you should feel that way Elaine, I'm crushed."
Food was brought out and drinks served. Everyone was having a great time. After some socializing time, Dani had everyone sit down for the 'present opening.' They put Elaine in a big chair in front of the group. Lynne sat by her with a pad and pen to write down what all she got.
Elaine opened packages from Victoria Secrets and other exotic lingerie shops. There were books and all kinds of magazines for 'bedtime reading' on the honeymoon, just in case there was 'nothing to do.' That was a real joke. There was a special package from everyone together. Dani stood beside Elaine and told her this was for the first night of the honeymoon and she assured her that Lance was getting something from the guys as well.
Elaine opened the box and found a beautiful, white silk gown with overcoat to it. It was exquisite. It seemed to shimmer in the light. Elaine recognized it immediately because she had been looking at it for a while, but couldn't bring herself to spend that much money on a gown to sleep in. She looked at Lynne and Rickii because she knew they were behind this as they had been with her when she saw it. "You guys should not have done this. It was way too much to spend."
"It will be an expensive throw to lay on the foot of the bed," laughed Dani and everyone laughed and Elaine turned red. "Look in the bottom of the box underneath the tissue paper," Dani instructed.
Elaine lifted up the paper and there was one of the books on their 'reading list,' THE JOYS OF SEX. She really did turn red this time. Dani hugged her and told her she was going to have to loosen up some.
Things were starting to wind down and the guys came back upstairs. When Lance looked at Elaine, she was as red as a beet and his face would have matched her perfectly. He went over to her and gave her a big hug and whispered in her ear. "Sugar, are you okay? Did they rag you as much as they did me?"
"I don't know. From the looks of your face, they must have done a good job on you. You're as red as a beet," she shared.
"Yours is too," laughed Lance.
Chris and Johnny brought up all the packages from downstairs and put them on the table with Elaine's packages. They put on some music and had Elaine and Lance dance for them. The song was an old Clint Black song he had done with his wife, Lisa, called WHEN I SAID I DO. It was a good thing that Lance had been teaching Elaine the Two-step because they danced together beautifully to the song. Everyone just stood back and watched the couple as they had eyes only for each other.
These times are troubled and these times are good
And they're always gonna be, they rise and they fall
We take 'em all the way that we should
Together you and me forsaking them all
Deep in the night and by the light of day
It always looks the same, true love always does
And here by your side, or a million miles away
Nothin's ever gonna change the way that I feel,
The way it is, is the way that it was
When I said I do, I meant that I will 'til the end of all time
Be faithful and true, devoted to you
That's what I had in mind when I said I do
Lance looked deep into Elaine's eyes and he leaned in and gave her a kiss, which she happily returned.
Well this old world keeps changin', and the world stays the same
For all who came before, and it goes hand and hand
Only you and I can undo all that we became
That makes us so much more, than a woman and a man
And after everything that comes and goes around
Has only passed us by, here alone in our dreams
I know there's a lonely heart in every lost and found
But forever you and I will be the ones
Who found out what forever means
When I said I do, I meant that I will 'til the end of all time
Be faithful and true, devoted to you
That's what I had in mind when I said I do
Truer than true, you know that I'll always be there for you
That's what I had in mind, that's what I had in mind,
When I said I do
As the song ended, there was not a dry eye in the room. They were the most beautiful couple anyone had seen. They stared into each other's eyes and melted into a kiss.
