“The richest source of healing our loneliness is for us to begin to give ourselves in love.”
I felt like a bad Christian for sleeping with her, but considering she did it too, we were both bad then.
In the middle of the service I subconsciously grabbed her hand. When I did realize this I smiled though, she was sweet, beautiful, and had goals for herself. What more could I want? I asked myself. Anything I came up with, I assumed she had. Maybe meeting her was one of the most right things I ever did. But it was too early to tell. Far too early to tell. And far too late to ask her to be with me now. I’d have to wait, build up some sort of friendship. Last night was just sex. I couldn’t base anything on that. Except well seeing her exquisite body, but that isn’t that important in the whole scheme of things. Or is it? I almost laughed at that sarcasm in my head but remembered where I was I quieted myself before anything was said out loud.
I looked over at her lost in thought as she gazed at the preacher with questioning looks, as if really considering every word he said, I smiled. She seemed a true Christian. And that is another thing I wanted near me.
I wanted her, her Christian beliefs and values, her dreams, perseverance, everything. Maybe all I thought was a lie. But what I thought is what I believed and you can not tell someone that what they believe is a lie.
After church I volunteered to take her to brunch.
“Sorry, I have to write a report.” She said backing down from my offer, “ Besides that won’t your fans notice you if you went out to eat.” She added.
“Then maybe we can eat at your house, I’d be more than willing to cook.” I offered not ready to let her leave yet.
“Sure, but I’ll be busy.” She replied. We went to her house, where she didn’t start her studies yet, she did some yoga. I watched enthralled in between cooking. Once she left to work on her report, I concentrated on my food. I made enough for the four of us since I knew when AJ and Maya got up they would want some.
And on cue as it was done, Maya and AJ came down.
“Kim down here yet?” Maya sleepily asked grabbing a hushpuppy.
“No she is writing a report.” I replied.
“You better go get her if you want her, she’s in the third room on the right upstairs.” Maya advised. I obeyed. I knocked on her door. But she didn’t hear because of the Celtic music blaring through her speakers. I let myself in to find her sprawled in the middle of a filling cabinet, three open books, her laptop, and various papers. She was sitting there typing away occasionally looking at the necessary papers. I cleared my throat. She turned towards me surprised.
“Hi, it’s done.” I said.
“Be down in a second.” She replied.
“I’ll wait.” I offered. She shrugged and returned. I glanced around the organized but very interesting room. I felt connected. I felt content. I felt at home.