The end was near.
It was coming.
It was coming fast.
It harbored itself in darkness.
It had its evil claws around me.
But it was waiting.
It was waiting for more pain. And more was sure to come. The pain first. Then the end.
Of coarse I had some choice in the matter.
Choice.
I couldn't really state the true meaning. It had been twisted into too many manipulations. It had been twisted into my life. I had no real choice. There was options and I chose the better one.
I would try and live. I would try and prevail but I had no expectations. I knew it was almost over. I would make it almost over.
RING!
Damn.
It was the phone.
"Hey." A familiar voice practically sang. It was Nick. He had his whole life in front of him. He was my best friend. I would miss him.
"Hi." I replied.
"How is Leigh?" He asked referring to my fiancee. Not to his knowledge, she dumped me. I wouldn't tell Nick. I wouldn't ruin the last few days, months, or weeks I would stick it out.
"I'm not sure." I replied solemnly.
"Well Lori and I are going on a trip to Canada, one of the more remote areas, if you and Leigh are interested?" Nick offered. He was trying his best but he was drowning in his ignorance.
Drowning.
That was a familiar word.
I felt like I was drowning in the darkness.
It was closer.
The pain was gushing at me, in an everlasting waterfall phase I could not break.
"Nick I have to go." I shared.
"Okay, well call me if you decide." He said.
"Bye Nick, I love you man." I said knowing it would be the last time I talked to him. I couldn't last much longer.
"Bye Bri. Love you too." He replied not as comfortable. I hung up. No questions. Just acceptance. Nick had always given me that much.
I glanced around the room.
I finally grabbed a simple steak knife.
Then my conscience came into play.
The boys. My family. The fans.
I was being selfish.
Lonliness.
Emptiness.
The music.
Let it end.
So I did.
I grabbed the knife. I traced it on the scar left from my heart surgery. Then I plunged it in ripping it open. Blood gushed out in a frenzied hurry. I stuck my hand in, blood oozed between my fingers. I quickly wrote a message.
IT was finally over.
And I was crying.
I took the knife and slight my right and left wrists.
Then the darkness consumed me for the final time.
Agent Dani King of the FBI came after Brian Littrell was reported missing and then dead. She was said. Her best friend was dating a band member of BSB. She was a strong woman and hated to see those weaklings who had taken their own life. But there was something odd here. Something a bit different.
Get a hold of yourself. She told herself.
But she couldn't help but feel the pain in her heart as she noticed his face was filled with dried tears.
She hated to know that they had felt pain even when it was their choice to do it.
That is because she knew she had her share.