• "Greetings, nimrod." (I don't remember who says this, but it's some guy in the "Lion's Den" episode of The Outer Limits)
• "Sir Harry has an incredible grasp of the obvious." (Michael Rosenbaum, Smallville)
• "Please, Damon is the biggest practical joker I know. He once convinced a sophomore that he was the middle Hanson brother just so he could get laid." (Michael Rosenbaum, "Urban Legend")
• "About this women's volleyball coach thing... do you ever get to see them take showers?" (Seann William Scott, Evolution)
• "Do you remember where all my books and possesions are? Oh wait. They're in the car. The car that blew up." (Breckin Meyer, Road Trip)
• "Where I come from we say 'shake and shake the ketchup bottle, none will come and then alot'll.'" (Breckin Meyer, Kate and Leopold)
• "You can't just buy me a guitar every time you screw up, you know." (Julia Stiles, Road Trip)
• "Welcome to Mutant High." (Shawn Ashmore, X-Men)
• Zach: What was that?
  Laney: I was busy.
  Zach: Yeah, busy wiggin'.
  Laney: I did not wig.
  Zach: Oh, there was major wiggage. (from "She's All That" - Laney is Rachael Leigh Cook and Zach is Freddie Prinze Jr.)
• "Dude, it's not funny dude, the car is gone." -- Ashton Kutcher, "Dude Where's My Car"
• "Dude, I'm tired of walking" -- Seann William Scott, "Dude Where's My Car"
• "I've seen this movie, the black dude dies first. YOU snag one." -- Orlando Jones, "Evolution"
• Nick: (looking at hotel bill) Excuse me, what's this extra $100?
  Hotel Lady: Oh, those are your in room movies.
  Nick: I didn't watch any movies.
  Hotel Lady: Okay, let's see (types on a computer). "Afro Whores".
  Nick: "Afro Whores"??!
  (from "Rat Race". I don't know who the hotel lady is but Nick is played by Breckin Meyer).

• "I look ridiculous!" -- Finch
• "I can taste the bubbles!" -- Stifler
• "You're ruining my mojo!" -- Stifler
• "Ho ho ho, Stifler Claus is here!" -- Stifler
• "And my social psyche professor at Baskin Robbins." -- Finch
• "It's Japanese. It means hello. Hello." -- Finch
• "My brother told me that at the end of summer I would see the big picture. And I see it." -- Kevin
• "Hey, Jessica's here. With Vicky. And Vicky got HOT!" -- Jim
• "This is my summer of love." -- Jim
• "Stifmeister's House of Love. Uh, straight love." -- Stifler
• "We just did something togehter. Very together." -- Finch
• "Wait a second, you were TRYING?" -- Jim
• "Ok, I'm staying!" -- Stifler
• "I got peed on." -- Stifler
• "This one time at uh, here..." -- Michelle
• "Here's an idea Stifler. Find a girl you like. You two become BEST friends." -- Oz
• "Some of these girls are from the grade below us. I might actually have a chance." -- Jim
• "She toyed with my emotions." -- Jim
• "The rule of three. Its an exact science." -- Jessica
• "It takes years to have true Stifmeister style." -- Stifler

For all of the above...

Jim = Jason Biggs
Stifler = Seann William Scott
Michelle = Alyson Hannigan
Vicky = Tara Reid
Oz = Chris Klein
Jessica = Natasha Lyonne
Kevin = Thomas Ian Nicholas
Finch = Eddie Kay Thomas
Heather = Mena Suvari