Tensions were running high everytime the group got together to do anything. Julie and Alyssa were still fighting relentlessly, Alyssa and Ryan were trying to forget the feelings for each other that have resurfaced, and the group was stll trying to adjust to being together again. It was no easy adjustment. Alyssa and Trista decided to splurge and got to Palm Beach for the weekend.
“I needed this.” Trista said, laying down on a lounge chair. “Parenting takes a lot of energy.” Alyssa nodded.
“Now you know what Mom went through.” Trista laughed as she put suntan lotion of her arms and legs.
“Yeah. I actually feel sorry for her.” Alyssa grew quiet. “What’s wrong Lyss?” Alyssa looked down at the ground.
“Why am I here Trista? Julie’s mad at me, Ryan’s moved on, and I have a girl who hates me because Ryan loves me. I don’t belong here.” She shifted on her lounge chair. “I belong in Paris, in my dorm, working in that small cafe, and studying to be the best writer that I can be.” Trista shook her head.
“Of course you belong here Alyssa. First of all, Julie will get over it. Second, Ryan only wants you to think that he’s over you.” Trista shurugged. “Besides, if you move home, Mom and Dad might not get a divorce.”
“HUH?”
“They’re thinking about getting a divorce Lyss. Daddy is sick of Mom choosing you and Mira over me. Maybe if you were home, the fighting would stop.”
“No pressure there Trista.” Alyssa said sarcastically.
“I just telling you the truth Alyssa. You need to know what’s going on.”
“I want to go back to Paris.” Alyssa said softly. A single tear slipped down her cheek.
“What are you going to do about Ryan?” Fresh tears coursed down Alyssa’s cheeks as she thought about her reply.
“Nothing. He’s got his life and I’ve got mine. We’re not a part of each other’s lives anymore.” Trista sat up.
“So you’re leaving after Julie’s wedding?” Alyssa shrugged, and put a pair of sunglasses on.
“I don’t know. If Julie doesn’t change her attitude, I might not even stay for that.” Alyssa paused. “Lynn’s her maid of honor anyway.”
“It doesn’t matter if I stay or go.”
*****************
“We always do what you want!” Sam yelled, as Lynn growled in frustration.
“And lately, all you’ve been doing is complaining. Is anything I ever do enough? I knew moving in with you was a bad idea.” Lynn stomped up to their room and grabbed a suitcase. Sam stalked into the room.
“What are you doing?” Lynn angrily threw clothes and belongings into the suitcase.
“I’m leaving Sam.” She zipped up the suitcase. “I’m sick of dealing with your crap. I thought moving in together would help our relationship grow stronger, but it only ruined it.” Sam looked remorseful.
“I’m sorry Lynn. Let’s give it one more try.” Lynn shook her head.
“I’m been living with you for a year Sam. I’m sick of it.” She grabbed her suitcase and headed downstairs.
“Please Lynn.” Sam pleaded. Lynn walked out the dor, suitcase in hand, and slammed it behind her. The resounding thud was imprinted in Sam’s mind, driving home the fact that the relationship was over.
*******************
“Where is he?” Alexia growled. Ryan was supposed to be meeting her for dinner to celebrate their one year anniversary. She looked around the elegant French resteraunt and Alyssa came to mind as she looked for Ryan.
“Can I get you something to drink?” A waiter asked.
“Water.” Alexia said, impatiently waving him away. She grabbed a piece of bread and savagely bit into it. He better have a good explanation, Alexia thought to herself. One that doesn’t involve Alyssa Morgan.
********************
Jean-Paul wanted to meet some friends. Alyssa’s alone. Here’s the room number. Go talk to her. Ryan sighed as he thought about what Josh had told him. For the past half an hour, Ryan had been sitting in the parking lot of the hotel where Alyssa was staying.
“Just go up there and tell her you want to talk.” Ryan said outloud, trying to pump himself up. Ryan went into the hotel and up to the room number Josh had given him. Drawing in a deep breath, he knocked on the door. When Alyssa opened the door, Ryan’s breath caught in his throat. Her chesnut hair was thrown messily on top of her head and she was wearing jogging pants and a blue Lycra tank top that exposed a wide expanse of her smooth, tan stomach.
“Ryan.” Alyssa stated, averting her eyes from his. Ryan looked down at the ground.
“Alyssa.” He said, somehow finding his voice again. They stood there for a couple of minutes, each not knowing what to say.
“Do you want to come in?” Alyssa finally asked. Ryan nodded and she stepped aside to let him in.
“It’s not much but I don’t think I’ll be in Florida much longer anyway.” Ryan looked at her, alarmed.
“Why?” Alyssa shrugged.
“Unless Julie gets rid of her bitchy attitude, I’m not even going to stay for the wedding.” Alyssa sat down on her bed. “I’m sick of everybody pressureing me to move back and getting on my case for not writing or calling. I was just trying to keep myself from becoming too homesick. Julie only wrote me once anyway.”
“That’s still no reason not to write or call Alyssa.” Alyssa crossed her arms over her chest.
“Did you come here to badger me? If you did, you can leave now.” Ryan sighed.
“That’s not why I came. I came to talk about us.” Alyssa looked down at the ground.
“What about us?”
“What happened to us Lyss? We used to be best friends.”
“We grew up. We changed.” Alyssa stated, shrugging as if it didn’t matter to her.
“You can’t tell me that you don’t still have feelings for Alyssa. I saw the look on your face when you saw me with Alexia.”
“So? I love Jean-Paul. He loves France as much as I do, if not more and he understood why I wanted to stay in Paris instead of moving back. You wanted me to give up my dreams of studying in France to stay here with you.”
“Aly--”
“I almost did it Ryan. I came back and I sat in our airport, just thinking. I thought about why I wantd to stay in Paris and why I wanted to some home. I thought about us and I thought about Jean-Paul. I can’t tell you how long I sat in that airport Ryan, but I decided that I couldn’t stay here.”
“Why do you want to push everybody away Alyssa?” Alyssa’s brown eyes were glazed with unshed tears.
“Because I want to be happy in Paris, Ryan. I don’t want to think about how torn I was when I had to choose between staying here with you or going to Paris. I don’t want to think about my feelings for you in general because when I do, I feel like my heart is being ripped into a million pieces and thrown to the wind everytime I see you with Alexia. I don’t want to think about the fact that my parents might be getting a divorce. If they can divorce each other after twenty-six years, Ryan, is there really hope for love anymore?”
“I don’t want to think about the fact that maybe I made a mistake when I didn’t go straight into your arms instead of getting back on that plane.” Alyssa shook her head. “I don’t want to think at all.”
“Did you make a mistake Alyssa?” Ryan asked softly. Tears slipped down Alyssa’s cheeks as she replied.
“Sometimes I think I did, and other times, I believe I did what was right for me.” She looked down at the ground. “Right now, I believe that I made a mistake.” Hope was cautiously soaring in Ryan’s heart but was quickly diminished when Alyssa opened the door.
“I think you need to go.” Alyssa said, trying to be forceful. On his way out the door, Ryan forced Alyssa to make eye contact as the slender brunnette tried not to cry.
“I’ll be back Alyssa.” Ryan said. “Count on it.” Alyssa shut the door behind him, and muffeled inside, Ryan heard sobbing that came straight from Alyssa’s soul. Had things gotten better or had they taken a turn for the worst?
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