This is just a short story I wrote.
You are reading my diary. I don’t even really know where to begin. Maybe I should begin the day I met Sam Roberts.....
(April 16, 2002, 4:16 p.m.)
I met the most amazing guy today. His name is Sam. Sam Roberts and he is absolutely the most gorgeous guy I have ever seen! Deep blue green eyes. This boy has it all. I seriously think I am in love!
I hadn’t intended to meet a guy when I walked down Chicago’s fifth avenue. I was just bored and had nothing to do. Me, Mia O’Connor, have nothing to do? That was something new. I usually spent my free time painting or taking photographs, two things I hoped to take in college. So anyway, I was browsing through some of Van Gough’s work in a gallery I had stopped into when a gorgeous guy came up next to me. He had spikey blond hair, and when he looked at me, he had bright blue green eyes. I actually felt my pulse start to race.
Whoa, I thought to myself. That never happens to me. Mia O’Conner, in love? Nothing could possibly be more absurd.
“Hey.” Mystery guy said. I slowly turned to face him.
“Hey.” I replied, in my most offhand manner.
“My name is Sam. Sam Roberts.” He stuck out his hand.
“Well Sam Roberts, my name is Mia O’Conner. It’s nice to meet you.” Geez Mia! Formal much?
“Mia. What a cool name.” I smiled. I got complimented on my name all the time. Of course, my mother thought that Mia was the perfect name for a girl who would grow up to be a model. Unfortunatly, my mother did not find that model in me. Modeling was so overrated. Posing for pictures has what purpose?
“You know, you should be a model.” Another typical male pickup line. Chalk that up to fifty billion people that have said that I should put away my paints and camera and become a model. It made no sense.
“Yeah well, modeling is entirely overrated. Couldn’t they actually make the models work instead of being pampered all day long then lounging around while people take their pictures and pay them millions of dollars? And ninety percent of all models are anorexic.” Sam smiled. Boy did he have a gorgeous smile.
“You really are something Mia.” Another line. How would he know what I am? He just met me!
“I’m opinionated if that’s what you mean.” Sam laughed.
“Yeah that’s what I meant to say.” I looked at my watch.
“It’s been really nice talking to you Sam, but I have to get going. I’m having lunch with a friend.” Sam looked dissipointed. I took a piece of paper out of my worn leather backpack and scribbled down my number.
“Call me.” And then I sauntered out of the gallery.
********************
I gave him my number. Why did I give him my number? I’m not interested in dating anybody. I’m content in my own little world and I don’t need some guy ruining my plans for the future. And what’s with the whole modeling thing? Why does everybody seem to think I would make a good model? Because my mom’s a model? Follow in my mother’s footsteps? No. The day when I follow in her footsteps will never come. I’m going to focus on my painting and my photography.
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Lately, one of my favorite hobbies was taking pictures of the park at sunset. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. The sky was streaked magenta, violet, orange, and the lightest pink I could ever imagine. The pictures came out beautifully and I was actually relaxed for the first time since I had met Sam. Sam. That one name said it all. It had been a week and he still hadn’t called. But it didn’t worry me. After all, I wasn’t looking for romance. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the cordless phone beside me rang.
“Hello?” I said.
“Is Mia there?” Sam asked. I recognized his voice immediatly. There went that damn racing pulse again.
“This is she.” I said. “Hey Sam.”
“I was wondering if you were busy tonight. I was kinda hoping you’d go to this poetry reading with me.” I smiled. This boy knew the way to my heart already. Poetry, painting, and photography were my focuses in life.
“I’d love to go Sam. Where should I meet you?” Sam proceded to give me a destination and I agreed to meet him in half an hour. I had an actual date. Just like my sister used to have, what I always wished I could have. It hurt to think about my sister, who died two years ago. Her fiance stood her up at her wedding. It was all dowhill from there. I shook my head, trying to get the image of my beautiful sister out of my head, as I drove to the cafe. Of course my mother expected me to be EXACTLY like Jessica. It’s not like imitating my sister would be a bad thing, because she had everything going for her. But I’m me and I didn’t want to be made into somebody that I’m not.
I walked into the cafe and looked around the hazy atmosphere. I recognized Sam’s gorgeous face immediatly.
“Hey Mia.” He said as I slid into the booth next to him.
“Hey.” Instinctively, I yanked down the black baby tee I was wearing so it met the waistband of my black semitight pants and didn’t show any stomach. Sam and I enjoyed a wonderful dinner and exciting conversation. I found out he was going to go to law school and become a district attorney. I told him about starting college in the fall and how I wanted to major in photography and minor in some sort of art. He asked if he could see some of my work some time. I told him he could see it now if he came over to my place. So we headed to our respective cars and he followed me to my house. I lived in a studio, almost by myself because my mom was almost never home. I lead him into the loft which was a room devoted especially to my paintings and pictures. He walked around as if in a daze, looking at the hundreds of pictures and paintings that adorned my wall.
“They’re amazing Mia.” He breathed. I took pride in that one statement. He stopped in front of a group of pictures of the sunset in Acacia Park.
“Beautiful isn’t it?” Sam nodded.
“You seem to capture the color and the light at exactly the right moment.” Sam commented. I laughed.
“That’s what being a photographer is all about. Capturing the moment, telling a story.” Sam turned to face me.
“You’re a really good photographer. But--” He paused. “Do YOU photograph well?” I was taken aback.
“Excuse me?”
“Do you look good in photos?” Sam said. “I should have phrased it better.” I crossed my arms over my chest.
“I’ve always been told that I could be a model. So yes, I would probably look good in pictures.” Sam smiled.
“Then let me see one of your cameras,” I shook my head.
“No way!”
“Please Mia?” He gave me this incrediably adorable pouty look and I just melted. I went over to the storage closet and got out one of my best cameras.
“Great! Now pose for me.” I had watched my mother’s shoots enough times to know how to pose. He snapped pictures until he was all out of film and then I brought him more. We must have spent at least a couple of hours just taking pictures and goofing around. After he was through, I took him to the dark room to develop the pictures. Three hours later, my first “cover shoot” pictures were ready. I had to admit. I did photograph well.
“I really think you should do this professionally Mia. I have a friend who can get you started and up to the top really quick.” I sighed, actually contemplating the idea. It paid a lot of money that could be used for college, and it would get my mother off my case. That alone made me decide to do it.
“Ok I’ll do it.” Sam surprised me by leaning forward and touching his lips to mine in a soft, gentle kiss.
“I’m glad Mia.” Sam said, and he let himself out of the studio. I touched my lips, still burning all over from the kiss. And it was then that I knew. I knew I was falling in love.
******************
As of tomorrow, I will have my first real cover shoot. I’’m beomcing what I vowed never to become. I’ve seen what happens to models. They get warped views of their body and become anorexic or bulimic. No matter what happens, I WILL NOT be anorexic or bulimic!!!
*****************
“Mia, turn to your left.” Nigel said, looking through his lens. (I could tell it was an expensive camera, one I would kill to own.) I turned to the left and I heard the shutter of the camera go several more times. I estimate that I must have spent at least sixteen hours being dressed up in different outfits and photographed. And when I went home that night, I felt good, better than I had in a long time.
*****************
I just got my pictures back from the first shoot. They look good actually. I think I might actually continue this. Don’t get me wrong, I’’m still going to paint and take photos. But I can model at the same time. I think.
******************
(3 months later)
“Mia, I need you to lose fifteen pounds in two weeks.” Nigel said, looking me critically. My mouth dropped open. Fifteen pounds, I thought incredulously.
“Fifteen pounds? In two weeks? You have got to be kidding me!” Nigel shook his head.
“You’re getting fat. Lose the weight or lose your job.” I shook my head in disbelief. Later that day, all I had for lunch was a salad. This is going to be two very long weeks.
*****************
(two weeks later.....)
It really was amazing how easy it was to lose weight. I ate whatever I wanted then purged, or I watched what I ate. I lose more than twenty pounds in the two weeks that I was supposed to lose fifteen and Nigel was satisfied. Only, once I started, I couldn’t stop. Even Sam was getting worried.
“There’s no need to be worried Sam.” I assured him. He shook his head.
“Look at you!” He said gesturing to my thinning frame. “You’re wasting away to nothing. I’m worried about my girlfriend. Is that a crime?” I shook my head.
“There’s no need to be worried. I’m fine.” And he let it rest at that. Only I slipped farther and farther down. By two months, I had dropped from 135 to 99. I was cranky, irritable, and everyone thought I was just a stuckup prima donna. What had I become?
***************
The day that changed my life was the day that I collapsed during a shoot. When I came to, I was in the hospital, undernourished and wasting away.
“If this had gone on any longer, you would have died.” A not-so-nice doctor informed me. I was disgusted with myself. Three months ago, I was a normal girl with hopes and dreams, a woman going someplace. And now I was going nowhere. I would have to postpone going to college and my mother threw a fit for the dishonor I brought her. Yet through it all, Sam stuck by me. And even though I had a long recovery ahead of me, Sam was there with me, and that made everything seem like it was going to be alright.
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Epilogue~~
That was a year ago. I have recovered since then, and I know now that food isn’t an enemy. I just have to watch what I eat. And now I hope that you see why I decided to start my story with the day I met Sam. He started it all. And he’s here at the end. After going to group therepy as part of my treatment, Sam and I were married and now, at the age of 24 and 25, we have a baby girl named Jessica Marie for my sister who died. I’m a photographer for a succesful magazine and finally, my life is in order. People are accepting me for who I am. For just being me.