Trippin With Dick Vitale
(People have a lot of fancy notions about being a
businessman these days I've got a 60% overhead on
this place. The labs bleep me white. The taxes
are murder. If it weren't for my dear little
whores, I'd have to get into something
lagitimate. Like robbing banks or pushing dope)
Dum diti dum da dang dang di dum
Two bums in an alley with a bottle of rum
One bum said look Jack I'm the shit
Put his knees to his ears and sucked his own dick
(Da-da-damn! Odela-odela-odelaheho)
My mothers crazy I think she sniffs glue
(sniff, sniff)
She never liked me and I know that's true
"Son what the hell's wrong with you at your age"
Kicked me out the crib cause I got a tattoo
(bi-bi-bi-bitch)
No one loves me and no one cares
And all I ever get is funny stares
(whatchu lookin at nigger)
I can't help it I'm nothin but a whino
(you, you, you know it's true)
So I hang at the zoo chillin with the rhinos
Stealin' bottles of booze outta A&P
(squeeeeeel)
I know a girl at Denny's and I always eat free
(outta sight)
Got the same birthdate as Thomas Crapper
(flush)
For Christmas I bought my old man the Clapper
(it's a good idea I think)
I'm so dapper you can call me Dan
But they call me round eye when I'm chillin in Japan
(gong)
Got a bad ass bitch and she ain't no dike
(dick sucker)
But fuck that hoe and let me tell ya what I like
(what's cookin)
I like bean burritos from Taco Bell
(and that's not all)
I like trippin on acid with Dick Vitale
(ha ha very funny)
My hair ain't plastic and my clothes aren't clashin'
(okay)
I write my rhymes on a scooter in a 90's fashion
(90's fashion)
Took too many many trip and now I can's stop twitchin
(I feel good)
My mellow D killed a rat in the kitchen
(ah ah ah yeah)
You think you toke tuff I'd disagree
(hey, well let's find out man)
Nobody blows more doobs than Richard D.
(cough,cough)
I get ill on hoes who I know aren't fertile
(ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)
I'm a real jet setter like Cecil Turtle
I'm down with Bill Bonds so fuck Joe Glover
(yeah)
And while I'm at it muther fuck fat ass Sally Struthers
(hell, hell, hell yeah)
You look fine girl kinda undercover
(wo ho ho)
But I can't fuck ya cause you look like my mother
(oh, a wise guy ah)
I said dang digee dang di dang di dang dang
(get that ol' school type shit)
It ain't Eric Estrada or Kool and The Gang
(jungle boogie)
You know I hand in the Clem chillin on the strip
(that, that, that's right)
With all them motherfuckers who slang that shit
(bitch, bitch, bi-bi-bitch)
You know I'm a pimp hold my dick like a holster
You sing it "All the girls want a Kid Rock poster"
Lifes a big joke and that's how it strikes me
But fuck it cause I know "Somebody up there likes me"
Assholes are only assholes, fo sho'