Happy Birthday- Chapter Four

Justin slowly turned around. When he saw it was me, I thought I was going to faint. I could see every emotion pass through his eyes. suprise, anger, hurt, happiness, suprise, love, hate, everything. I was too scared to say anything. He took a step towards me, and stopped. It was almost like he was asking for permission to come near me. I slightly shook my head yes. He walked towards me, untill he was just inches from me. we just stared at each other. we didn't know if we should hug, or touch each other. We were both unsure.

"Oh God." he breathed.

As soon as I heard his soft, gentle voice, I couldn't stand it anymore. I threw my arms around his neck. He hestitated at first, but he did the same. We just stayed that way for the longest time. I just breathed in his scent, not saying a word. There was nothing that needed to be said right at the moment. What happened between us? All that history just thrown away. I can't do this. I have to be with him, I want to be his friend. Not his girlfriend, not right now. But, I can't be away from him. He means way too much to me.As we pulled away from each other, he leaned in to kiss me. I shook my head no, It was too soon.

"I'm sorry, It was instinct." he said to me.

I understood. I almost did the same thing too. I walked over and gave all of the other guys hugs too. I missed them a lot too. After a while of all of us catching up, Justin asked me if I wanted to go on a walk with him.We left the arena and went to a secluded park. We weren't talking, we were just walking.

"Justin." I started, just as he said, "We need..."

"We need what?" I asked.

"We need to talk." He answered.

"Don't you think I know that Justin!?" I snapped.

He looked hurt. I don't know why I snapped at him, I didn't mean to, it's just that I was nervous, I haven't talked to him in a while. "What happened to us, Sweetie?" he asked.

"Gee, I don't know Justy, I think it went like this: You got sued, you got scared, you shut down from me, you started being a prick, you called me a whore, I slapped you, told you to go to hell, and left."

I pissed him off, and I could tell. I just didn't know how to do this. I was being immature. "I'm sorry Justin, really I am. I'm being immature right now. I'm just so nervous and scared. I'm scared of doing this all over again. I'm scared of losing you again, I'm scared of getting hurt again. I just don't know what to do."

"Tami, let me tell you some things okay. That day when all the stuff happened, after you left...I thought the guys were really going to kill me. JC...he was going to hit me. He would've too, if Chris and Joey hadn't grabbed him. Everyone left the room, and they didn't talk to me for a couple of days. When I apoligized for everything that I did, I cried. I cried like a baby, and I couldn't stop. I've missed you like crazy. I keep seeing your face, hearing your voice and smelling you. I want to hold you in my arms so bad. I can feel you in my arms, and I miss it so much. Somebody once told me that sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You are that person in my life. When I locked eyes with you, I knew at that very moment that you would affect my life in some profound way. I knew that then, and I know it now. I know you feel the same way, please don't ignore it."

I was crying by that time. I know it was hard for Justin to say that, it meant more to me, than I love you. I couldn't take it anymore, I had to walk away.

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::Happy B-day Index::
::part five::