"Justin?" Jo called, as she walked down the stairs. There was no answer, as she walked into the kitchen. Her heart melted, when she saw him. Justin had fallen asleep on the kitchen table. His head rested peacefully on his hands. Paperwork for the new tour was spread out all over the table.
Jo walked over to him, to wake him up. A paper caught her eye and she picked it up. It was requesting a new carry on for the tour. Her name was listed at the top, the bottom was signed by all of the guys. Her eyes clouded with anger, and disappointment. He didn't trust her enough, or have enough belief in her to manage being by herself.
She dropped the paper on the table. Jo watched Justin for a moment, before deciding to awake him. She gently shook his shoulder, as he opened his eyes.
Jo's arms had fallen at her sides, and Justin reached down and gently took her hand. His thumb rubbed the back of her hand in a comforting manner. "Joey? What is it?" Justin's voice was filled with concern.
Jo cleared her throat and picked up the piece of paper. "Jay, what is this?"
Justin glanced at the paper, "it's ummm... for the new tour."
"Why does it have me at the top as a carry on? Why are you requesting for me to go with you?"
Justin didn't answer her.
"WHY JUSTIN?" Jo yelled.
Justin jumped, "because! Because I want you to go with me!"
"This is so selfish! What about the other girls? Now, they're going to have to take time away from their guys. Do you not trust me to stay here by myself? Do you think I'm going to go back to Alex? Tell me Justin. WHY?"
"I will tell you! Jesus, give me a chance to explain myself, before jumping to all of these stupid conclusions. I just saw how upset you were when we talked about me leaving. You looked and sounded so sad, and I don't want to see you like that. You're already sad enough with this whole thing about Alex. It has nothing to do with you going back to him. This is about us."
"US? What do you mean by us? There is no us, Justin. There is a you and a me. No us!"
Justin flinched, her words cutting into his heart. "I didn't - I meant you and me, as us. Like we're best friends, us. Not lovers, or boyfriend and girlfriend." He looked down at the floor, his eyes clouded with hurt.
"Justin, I didn't mean it -"
"It's okay; look, I understand what you're saying. You don't wanna go, don't go. It's fine. I just thought it would be nice if we could spend the whole tour together, instead of a few weeks. But since there is no us, just a you and a me, I understand." He stood from his chair, picking up the piece of paper with him. He crumpled it into a ball and threw it into the waste basket.
Justin walked up the stairs, the sound of the door shutting softly sounded like a slam in Jo's ears. She shut her eyes against her own cruel words and sank into the kitchen chair. After a few minutes of listening to her words replay, she rose from her spot.
Jo walked into the bedroom, and sat on the edge of the bed. "Justin, please listen to me? I'm sorry. I was just so angry when I saw that paper. I'm upset that you didn't even ask me how I felt about the tour. I didn't mean what I said, honest I didn't."
He sat up on the bed and turned toward her. "Do you know what's strange about anger? Most of it is spoken out of truth." Justin glared at her, his anger apparent on his face. He took off his shirt and threw it in the empty hamper across the room.
Jo knew he was truthfully angry and hurt by her remarks. He would never speak to her that way and in that manner unless he was furious.
"What is your thing about you and me being an us? I don't understand, it's never bothered you before." Jo asked, quietly.
"There really isn't a problem with it. You just make it seem like I'm not good enough for you, and I am. It doesn't mean I want to be with you, but I know I'm good enough, if I wanted it."
"You don't want to be with me? If that's how you feel, why didn't you just say it?" Jo yelled, standing from the bed.
Justin pulled her back to the bed. "No, I mean that I'm good enough for you if I wanted to be your boyfriend. I want to be with you, as your best friend. But not as your boyfriend. Joanna, you mean the world to me, and so much more. You're my best friend, and my soul mate, as far as friends go. I want you to always be in my life."
He slowly reached forward and gently held her hand. "I'm sorry that I upset you with that piece of paper. I didn't mean to be selfish or anything that you thought. We're leaving in two weeks, and I know that you're still going to be having a hard time. I want to help you, and be there for you through your hard times. I feel like I can't be there through this, if I'm away on the tour."
Jo looked down at the floor, as tears shined in her eyes. "What did I do to deserve this?"
Justin smoothed a curl away from her face. "Deserve what, baby?"
"What did I do to deserve such an amazing and loyal best friend?"
Justin smiled and pulled her down on the bed with him. He laid on his back, Jo placing her head against his chest. She could hear the quiet sounds of his heartbeat, and it relaxed her. Her hand rubbed up and down on his smooth, hard stomach. "Someday, I'm going to repay you for your love, Justin. I'm not sure how, but I will. I promise you."
Justin kissed the top of
her head, "You already have. You're here right now, you've
stood by me through thick and thin. I'm just repaying you with
the
love you have given me."
Jo's smile could light up the room as she slid up higher on the bed, until her head was rested in the crook of his neck. She kissed his jaw line softly, before drifting off to sleep.
