Rachel stared out the window in dismay. The weather was rainy and cold, fitting her mood perfectly. She couldn't stand the swirling emotions inside of her heart and it was getting harder to stand strong around Lance.
There were times where Rachel had to curl her hand into a fist to keep from reaching out to him. Times where she had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from telling Lance her true feelings. Rachel loved him so much it scared her sometimes.
She didn't know what was going on and it confused her. She knew that she was scared of what life would be like without him. Rachel didn't want to experience it or try and deal with it without him. He had taught her so much, through their lives together. Lance taught her to fight for what she believed in, to stand tall, to be proud, to take greater risks and to love life more than life itself.
That was the only thing she was certain about: Rachel could not go through life without Lance. There were so many uncertainties though. What would happen to their friendship? What would happen if they stopped being together, would their friendship unravel? It was so hard last time when Lance broke up with her. It took them months to regain their friendship and even then it wasn't complete. It was finally back to the way it had been, and it was already beginning to deteriorate.
"What are you doing?" A voice asked from the doorway, causing Rachel to jump in fright. She turned to glare at her attacker.
"Justin Timberlake! What is the matter with you? You scared me half to death!" Rachel turned away from him, so he couldn't see the tears on her face.
It was too late, he saw them. "Please don't leave. Don't leave us, him..." Justin's voice trailed off and he walked up behind Rachel. Justin slowly put his arms around her and moved to stand in front of her. "You're scared aren't you?" He asked, looking into her eyes.
Rachel's eyes flooded with a fresh batch of tears. "All this time, I told you to confront love. Talk to Leslie, face your fear of love. And, here I am..." Rachel couldn't talk anymore, the tears were choking her too much. She buried her face in Justin's shirt and unleashed all her fears and worries on him.
"Rach, that's what I came to tell you. I talked to Leslie and I think things are going to work out. We're going to move real slow, but we're going to give our relationship a try." Justin explained, rubbing the small of her back. "Please don't give up on love, especially with the person you know completes you."
"Jus, I'm so scared. I've never been this afraid before, not even with Eric. I knew Lance would save me, this time..." Rachel pulled back and looked up at Justin. "This time, he can't save me. I have to work through this on my own. I don't even know if he loves me back." Rachel tried to rationalize with herself, but she knew he did. She'd always known the answer.
"Rachel, don't be dense. You know the answer to that question, you don't even have to question it. It's written all over your face. Follow your heart and you'll be fine. Remember?" Justin lifted her chin and kissed her on the forehead. "Talk to him. If not for you, or Lance, for me...for love." He smiled and left the room.
Rachel watched his retreating broad shoulders and sighed. She leaned her forehead against the cool window pane and followed a rain drop with her fingertip. She had a lot of deciding to do.
A hot shower and two hours later, Rachel still was not sure what to do about Lance. She pulled out her journal and wrote. Rachel wrote for pages and pages, she wrote until her hand ached. She cried the whole while, wishing to God, He make it easier on her.
"I can't leave him, I can't leave this. I'm not that strong." Rachel said out loud to herself. She knew her weakness in that area was a good quality. If fate wanted her to be strong, to walk away from the situation, Rachel stay. Justin said to follow her heart, that's what she was going to do.
Rachel flopped onto the bed and sighed. She knew she had to tell him, tell him how her feelings were scaring her. They were changing and they both knew it. Both sets of feelings were changing.
She stood and walked over to the mirror. Her eyes were red rimmed, but you would have to look closely to see she had been crying. Rachel took a deep breath and walked over to the connecting door.
Lance was sitting in the chair looking down at the streets below him. His forehead was resting on the cool glass of the window. He unfolded his arms and placed his hand against the window pane. He sighed deeply and leaned back against the chair.
"Lance?" Rachel ventured, stepping into the room.
