Lance sighed and leaned his head back against the head rest. It took a little
while to get out of the store, but everything worked out fine. Rachel was a
little shook up, but he was sure she was alright.

"Lance, what the hell were you thinking?! You could've been killed!" Chucky
shouted at him from the driver's seat.

"I know Chuck. I know. Besides, it's Rachel's fault. She wanted to try on
that shirt." He joked, poking Rachel's arm.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know..." Her voice trailed off in a whisper. She gazed
out the window at the buildings.

"It's okay RaeRae. I was just kidding." He smiled at her. When she didn't
return his smile, he decided to pull out all of the stops. "Hey Rachel! Let's
go to Armani, we'll pick me out a suit and you a dress. We've got some award
shows coming up soon." Rachel loved Armani and it cost a lot of money. This
was a big treat on Lance's part.

"No thanks. Let's just go back to the hotel. I'm kinda tired." Rachel said
politely, looking at Chucky.

Chucky and Lance met each other's eyes in the rear view mirror. They knew she
was upset, she never passed up a shopping spree in Armani. "Alright Rachy.
Whatever you want." Chucky smiled at her. She smiled half heartedly back.
Chucky was the only one allowed to call her that.

Rachel flopped down on Lance's hotel bed and turned on the TV. Lance sat down
next to her and turned it off. "Are you okay?" He asked concerned.

"Yes." She sniffed, standing and looking out the window. He didn't answer her
and looked at her back. She was standing rigid and stiff, he knew something
was bothering her. She only stood like that when she was upset.

"Rachel, baby. Please look at me and tell me the truth." He pleaded with her.
He went and sat in the chair by the window and turned her to him. He rested
his hands on each side of her slender waist and looked up into her eyes.

"It's just..." She hesitated, before letting it all out. "It's just not fair!
I hate it, I hate them, I hate everything about this! It's not fair that I
can go in and out of a store as I please, I can walk down the block. I don't
have to worry about getting mauled or attacked. And, you..." The desperation
and love filled her voice.

"You can't even step out to get the paper without Chucky. I want to be able
to have dinner with you. To have dinner and not have to look three tables
down and see the body guards. I want to go shopping with you without having
your Chucky wait in the car. I want to go into a dressing room and not be
scared to come out, because there will be that mob. I want you to go out and
not have to wear a hat and sunglasses or a disguise. You have a right to be
normal, you are a normal person. You're just like them, so why do you get
treated differently?!" Her voice had raised several octaves through her
outburst.

"Shhh, Rachel. It's okay." He stood, smoothing her hair. "It's okay." He
repeated, trying to soothe her.

"NO! No! It's not okay. Don't you hate it? Don't you hate not being able to
live a normal life. Did you see the way those girls treated me?! They called
me names I've never been called before, all because I was with you, because I
could've been your girlfriend. You're the boy that lives next door to them.
Anybody could be you, their brothers, classmate, boyfriend. And yet, they
treat you different. I HATE IT!" She finished in a yell. Tears streamed down
her face. "Just...Can't you...?" She gave up and threw her arms around his
neck. She was terrified for his well being, all she wanted to do was hold him.

The force of her throwing herself into his arms made him stumble back, but he
quickly regained his balance. He wrapped her in his arms and held her tightly
as she cried. He knew she worried about him and wanted him to have a normal
life, but it was something he couldn't have. Something he may never have. It
saddened him to think about it, but he was grateful to everything that
surrounded him.

After her tears had calmed down, he pulled away from her. "Sit." He
instructed, pushing her into the chair. He pulled the other chair around the
small table and sat directly in front of her. He took her small, shaking
hands into his larger, firm ones.

He spoke low and calm. It soothed her tears and her anger. "Look Rach. I know
you worry about me and I know you hate the life that I live. And, I'm sorry.
But, this is me. This is my life. I deal with it everyday, and I know in some
way it's worse for you. Because you have to stand by and watch it, you aren't
in control of it."

He sat and thought about what he had just said. "I know I don't have much
control over it either. I'm used to it though. This is probably never going
to go away. Some places it's not so bad and sometimes it pops up when I least
expect it. Like today with that little girl. I didn't think she was going to
do that, but she did. And, it's over now." Rachel opened up her mouth to
protest. She shut it quickly when he shook his head.

"Tomorrow is a new day. It may happen again and it may not. Nobody knows,
what I do know is this. I'm extremely grateful that I have the chance to
perform and give those fans a chance to believe in something. I get letters
everyday from them. They thank me for doing what I do. They tell me that I
helped them find their new best friend, that I helped bring them closer to
their families. Some even say that I helped them come out of a deep
depression." He smiled, remembering that one special letter. He still kept it
with him. Whenever he felt low, he'd pull out that letter and remember the
fan.

"I would never trade in a couple of mobs for those fans, to make them feel
that way. You have no idea how wonderful it feels. You've been around me and
this for years now. I can't give you normalcy and I can't give you back those
times when we had to quit a shopping spree or those body guard dinners. What
I can give you is me." He looked her in the eyes and brushed a falling tear
away.

"I don't understand." She questioned, the confusion evident in her eyes.

"What I mean is that I can give you my time, my love, my friendship. I'll
always be here. Someday, I promise we'll eat dinners together without a body
guard. We'll go to the movies without me wearing a hat. And, we'll go
shopping without you or me being scared that fans are going to recognize me.
Someday, that'll happen. I always keep my promises don't I? Just stick with
me, don't leave me." He looked down at the ground as images and thoughts
flooded his mind. They were horrible. He saw himself without her in his life,
going on tour without her there. "Please?" He begged.

She gasped as she saw the tears gathered in his eyes. The same images that he
saw came into her mind and fresh tears gathered in her eyes as well. "Lance,
I could never..." She didn't know what to say. "Oh God. I could never ever
leave..."

She stood and pulled him up by his hand. She looked in his eyes as he got up
from his seat. She placed a hand on his cheek and smiled. "I promise. I'll
wait and I'll never leave you."

He smiled back at her and gathered her in his arms. The two swayed together
to an imaginary song. Rachel couldn't ever imagine hugging somebody else. She
couldn't ever imagine feeling the way she felt at the moment with Lance. She
didn't understand what was going on, all she knew was that she didn't want to
ever leave.
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